Saturday, May 27, 2017

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 22 #JoinMyJourney

If you have nver suffered from headaches or any aches and pains in general than count yourself blessed... For those that are plagued with body pain or migraines I feel for you... I too suffer from migraines, not on a regular basis like many friends and family members but on a semi regular basis... Mine are usually brought on by triggers such as food, environment such as too much smoke or other allergans and extreme stress like the one that took over my system yesterday...

What started out as what most would consider just a typical headache quickly excalated in one of the worst migraines I can remember in my entire life... Some may ask what have you been eating? What has the weather been like? But I will tell you that I know that this was 100% a stress powered migraine... I have been carrying around so much stress over the past month that this was sadly inevidilbe for me... I had no other outlet... well probably not true but at the end of every day I was so exhausted that there was no outlet to relieve the stress and it got to the point that my poor body had no other release...

The pain was so excrutiating that it was nearly impossible to even fall asleep... I thought it was going to drive me to the bathroom but nothing would break the pain... I was sweating so bad, I had never expreienced it this intense... I think I fell asleep from sheer exhaustian and awoke after 3 hours...

If you have never had a severe headache, I usually suffer from what I call headache hangover... I feel afraid to eat anything big, I generally stick to toast and water... Sadly this goes on for most of the following day... I just don't feel right...

So if you know someone who sufferes from pain or you are the one that suffers silently, I pray you have support from family or friends because it can be rough... Thankfully I have medication that I take to so I don't have more regular occurances of these horrible happenings... Now I just need to find away to make more time for stress relief for myself, so I don't have to face another day like that...

musicsongbird

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 21 #JoinMyJourney

I wish there was a magic wand that I could wave and all of my mixed emotions would just go away... I guess that is why I got my peace tattoo on my wrist... It isn't magic but it is a good reminder of when I start to feel overwhelmed that I need to try and find peace... Sometimes, I can just stop and look at it, sometimes I simply press it and I just focus on it and pray... There is so much going on with work for me right now and this week especially and I know I am going to really be going to be focusing on it quite a bit... 

The same thing goes for when I become disappointed about something or someone... Try as I may in not feeling sad about something they did or didn't do I try and focus on God's peace and knowing He will get me through it and even though that person may have let me down, God won't ever...

I guess I am just a bundle of emotions right now and need to find my peace...

musicsongbird

Friday, May 12, 2017

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 20 #JoinMyJourney

A new day is here and the sun rose and the birds sang and I managed get outside and enjoy the day... We went to a local Blueberry farm and picked fresh blueberries, infact we picked over 9 pounds of them... So I guess my blogging/venting really helped me last night because that wasn't all I did today... I came home and napped afterward... LOL  OK that really isn't any different than most of my weekends but when I got up I wasn'twearing my pajamas... wait a minute... it's not what you think... I wasn't wearing them when I layed down for the nap to start with... Nope, not sounding any better... OK, rewind... What is "normal" around my home is go out for Friday errands and when we come home it out of regular clothes and into pajamas... Well today, I left my regular clothes on and when the nap was over it was up and out the door for groceries and then when we returned home it wasn't into PJs and straight to the couch... Nope, I can hardly believe it myself, but I actually went out and helped do some work in the yard... 

Honestly, I am not sure who I am at this moment or if I am dreaming but I acctually put my laundry in the machine and then grabbed the weed wacker and went out to the yard and started working for a good half hour... Then when all was said and done outside, I came inside and made us breakfast for dinner... We had gluten free blueberry pancakes made with FRESH handpicked blueberries... They were outstanding!

Now as I sit here typing away and look back at the day, I hope I can have many more days like this... Where at the end of the day, I am tired, but good tired and my tummy is full from good healthy things... And my mind is feeling somewhat at peace... 

There are still things going on that I must face, but if I take them a moment at a time, I think it will be that much easier...  If I look at each issue like I take on picking blueberries, I think things will go much better... I know I have your attention... When you reach in to pick from a blueberry bush you have to be very mindful, you don't just rush in and grab everything all at once like when they cut off bundles of grapes... With blueberries you have to pay attention to the color... On one single stem, even in a bundle of  blueberries their can be many berries in various stages of ripening... You could have a blossom that has yet to develop a berry, a white/green one, a green and redish one, a red/blue one or if you get it just right, a deep blue one...  You want to try and pick the darker berries, because like the saying goes, "The darker the berry the sweeter the juice." 

So, if I pay attention to each problem and choose to handle them in the right order and in the right way, I won't get over zealous and end up with a hand full of sour berries... Now is this a fool proof plan? No, because I am only human and even I grab an off color sour berry now and then, but I know right away when I do because I get a bad taste in my mouth and it shows me that I need to change my behavior and be more careful or more mindful when I get off track... 

Before now, no do overs like before, no starting over, we just keep moving forward from where we are... And hope that we learn from our past mistakes or atleast take something with us along the way that will remind us not to repeat those past errors...

musicsongbird

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 19 #JoinMyJourney

Long time no write... Out of town guests and unwanted illness have invaded my life over the past month... Not that I haven't wanted to share but not had the strength from day to day sometimes...Sometimes it's physical strength and sometimes it's honestly mental.... Just making it through work and making it home when you are not feeling yourself is hard enough...

So much has been happening and so much to say, but still feeling like something is holding me back... Part of it is things I can't officially share yet and part of it is I feel like I am repeating things I have written before, the same old same old... The I filled my mind and the page with promises and nowI have failed on those and now I feel like I am just spewing the same thing again about, now here I am at the beginning of a journey...

Well guess what? I started to climb up the hill to better health and I got to a place where I thought I was doing ok and I hit a bump and rolled back down the hill past where I started... Now I am covered in bruises and cuts (all mental) and I am feeling down on myself because I look in the mirror at myself and I see someone looking back at me that I don't like looking at... Even less than I did 3 months ago...

The goal then was to go off Gluten and Night shade. Well that lasted about a month and then visitors came and I happily jumped off the wagon and have been hoping back on and off since never being able to fully jump back on... However, the good thing is that here at home,  we have cut back on starches with our meals and added a LOT more Veggies!!!! And while I have cut downon my bread intake, when I do have I tend to over indulge... So while there are so positives, there are many negatives that are out weighing them...

Now I am not looking for sympathy but more solidarity because there is strength in numbers, and if I know there are others who are struggling in the same manormaybe we can face this together... I have been sick for about 6 weeks or so with sinus issues and what have you and I am still struggling some with breathing but it's getting better and so exercising for any length of time is laborous right now... But the ultimate goal is to get active again...

So whether you are a silent observer or an active part of the conversation, I encourage you to join in on this continuing journey with me... We are here to encourage, not discourage and remember, before starting any kind of health change or exercise program, talk with your doctor!!!

musicsongbird