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Showing posts from 2017

Remember to give thanks everyday...

It's that time of year again... Thanksgiving just past, a reminder that we are thankful for our family and friends... And now Christmas is just a few short weeks ahead of us and we are all frantically racing around trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list to make someone happy...  But in the end does it really make them happy? Or is it the fact that we took the time to find that gift for them what really makes them happy?

I'm sure for many people it's the fact that they have gained more, sadly. But I feel like the older I get the less I truly want. I guess I am getting to the point, if I really want something, I don't need to wait until Christmas to buy it... In fact, my Mom and I made an agreement that this year it would be no gifts... We would rather spend the money on things we need for the house or on fun things to do together to make memories... Like day trips or dinners out to new places...

The other thing I realize I don't do enough is give t…

Getting back to life...

Trying to settle in since the trip has been an adjustment... If you have never traveled overseas, it isn't just a cultural change, even though that was short, but the time change was really big for me for some reason... And now a week later I am finally feeling physically better, other than the fact that I think I am coming down with a cold... Now it's time to pay off the trip I just took all while facing holiday merriment that is coming our way in less than 2 months now...

It's crazy to think that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away and Christmas is right behind it... If I had really planned I could have taken care of Christmas while in Paris, but that would have probably required buying another suitcase to bring stuff back in, instead of a cute shoulder bar with a zipper... So now the planning begins, usually by now I have a bunch of things done but this year I just don't know if I am up for it... Emotionally, mentally, I don't know if I want to go to all the w…

Did someone say Adventure - Day 2

I had the most extraordinary opportunity thanks to one of my life long friends... As I had mentioned in my previous post I was jetting off to Paris, France and now I am home and have had a few days to ponder the trip and kind of absorb everything I saw and experienced...   I could go on about specifics about walking up and down stairs and riding the metro and all of the different sites we saw along the way but there was one moment in particular that kind of sat me down, both figuratively and literally...

On our second day of the trip the weather was less than ideal... in fact the sky decided it was going to let lose on us and keep us pretty much wet for most of the day... Now not only was it cold but it was wet and these are less than ideal conditions to walking anywhere... But we weren't going to let anything stand in our way... We made our way through the city until we found the Cath├ędrale Notre-Dame de Paris... To go from seeing it animated in Disney's Hunchback to seeing i…

Did someone Say Adventure - Day 1

I am about to embark on an incredible journey... I am so excited and nervous and I don't think scared just everything all at once... That feeling I had almost 17 years ago when I was getting ready to take my first trip down to Florida for the 1st time except this time it is across the Big Blue...

I am finally getting to live out a dream to travel outside the country and my first trip is to one of the most romantic cities in the world, Paris... One of art and food and wine and of course Disney!

While I am sad that I won't be sharing this experience with the BFF first hand this time or my Mom who is helping make this trip possible, I am sharing it with one of my oldest and dearest Sister friends and without her we wouldn't even be going... I am so grateful that she texted me all of those months back and asked ab out me having a passport and encouraging me to get mine...

I am ready for my adventure now...

More to come...

@musicsongbird73 on Instagram

Nancee M. on Yelp

Surviving the Storm ... Part 5

Sometimes the hardest part of Surviving the Storm is when you are going head first through it and you aren't sure what the outcome will be... I have faced so very many storms in my life... Like the emotional storms of losing all 4 of my grandparents, my cousin Jana, my Dear Sweet Dad and now my friend Nick... To the mentally and physically debilitating storm of sexual abuse I survived... To the actual storms I have survived, whether it's been a car accident or a tropical storm, or the end of a friendship, or the end of a job; I have survived that storm...

"In the Eye of the Storm"

Surviving the Storm... Part 4

Today was supposed to be a great day from beginning to end but sadly it didn't begin that way... I woke up like any other except that today a new journey was beginning for me... My 2nd decade working at the Most Magical Place on Earth was going to begin and I knew there was going to be a "Surprise" Celebration for me... I was so exited that I took my shower and got ready and headed into work...

But when I got there the mood quickly changed... My co-worker immediately asked me if I had seen my friends Facebook post and when I had said no, I began to scroll and then all of the air went out of me... A young man that I had worked with since I started, had lost his life at the hands of another person yesterday... At first it didn't seem real... I went completely numb and then I looked at my co-worker / Friend and I just started crying... How can this happen to someone so young? To anyone at all? What would drive someone to did this to another human being?

The morning pass…

Surviving the Storm - Part 3

Not every storm is forecast, sometimes they just come out of no where... The migraines are back with a vengeance... It sounds like a bad B movie but sadly it's true... The thing that I have had some semblance of control over with medication for the past few years, is no longer being controlled by my prescription... On average I am suffering from migraines at least twice a month now, when I was going months without one... This is not a good thing...

If you have never suffered from this horrible ordeal, it is like a modern version of a medieval torture device... Imagine have a set of clamps attached to either side of your temples and they are slowly being tightened over time... Then as they are tightened your body temperature goes up and down, going somewhere between the hot and cold sweats which cause boughts of nausea and even closing your eyes and laying down doesn't really help... You just pray for rest so that the pain will go away...

This is what I battle... This is my new…

Surviving the Storm - Part 2

Returning home after the family festivities was a bag of mixed emotions... The long week spent enjoying time with family, but constantly feeling a mixture of guilt and concern over what was happening in our home and around florida to our friends and neighbors since Irma had past... We already knew that we had been without electricity from Sunday until the following Friday... And we also knew that the roads leading to our home were flooded in both directions, thankfully the day prior to our arriving home, which was Monday, my best friend was finally able to drive through the slowly dropping water safely and get to our house, without having to wade through it and possibly have to defend himself from critters that may be lurking beneath... (I wish I was kidding)

When we got home we were greeted by little furry faces staring and meowing at the door, anxious to snuggle and tell us all about the scary moments while we were away... Upon opening the front door, I was smaked in the face with t…

Surviving the Storm - part 1

Two weeks ago this morning, after battoning down the hatches and snuggling my kitties, I began my journey north to meet up with my Mom for my nephews wedding and to take refuge from Irma... Of course when we had planned our trip in January, Irma was never a part of the picture...  This was a huge trip for me... I had taken smaller trips alone before, from the STL to Kansas City or Orlando to St. Augustine, but never a 17 hour trip through 6 States (Florida, Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Illinois and Missouri)...

This was supposed to be a fun trip where I left after work on Monday and stopped in the Atlanta area to sleep and then continued my journey on Tuesday to meet up with my Family on Wednesday... Well, Irma had other plans... Before I knew it, Mom was on her flight as planned, and then my Super hero Bestie and I were getting the house ready to face the largest hurricane Florida had ever faced... As I drove all I could think of were my friends and "family" that would soo…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 26 #JoinMyJourney

Sometimes the best thing you can do is step outside your comfort zone to find out something new about yourself... This weekend I did a little bit of that... Back long ago... That sounds so funny, but it is true... Back long ago when I worked back in the STL, I dressed for work... I dressed for going out... I made a point out of wearing makeup and putting my best face forward always... Silly youth... Or lazy age now... Or possibly I can't always afford paying for my clothes by the yard... but I digress...

Anyways, this weekend I had a bit of a fashionista reawakening you might say due to my nephew's pending nuptials and a semi dressy Yelp event this coming Monday... I remember back in the day when I worked for Lane Bryant and I loved trying on the new clothes when they came in, but that was a good 100 pounds less ago and over 15 years younger ago as well and now trying on clothes is more of a burden than a fashion runway show extravaganza...

During my shopping journey this week…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 25 #JoinMyJourney

It's been a long time since I have stopped and evaluated what is going on and put into words how things are... This summer has been so incredibly busy with emotional highs and lows and my weight has been as well...

Right now we are staring at the high end and sadly I am just three weeks from seeing family but this too shall pass...

Life at the most magical has been a roller coaster ride, changing from Front of House to all Heart of House and taking on different responsibilities of sorts... Helping prepare for the largest festival on property and still managing to stay somewhat sane through it all even though we aren't quite there yet...

I am learning with baby steps on how to handle stress better, and trying not to turn to food as often... But I need to remember that getting off my bum now and then is always a great way to destress, even when it's warm outside... There are air conditioned places I could go and just walk, like the mall... or Target, or Walmart... or I can w…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 24 #JoinMyJourney

Mom and I ran into a sweet an aquaintance last week that we haven't scene in quite some while and she gave mom some huge compliments on she is looking and then she commented I was looking well as well, even though I don't feel like I am looking that great quite honestly but that is just me... Well she asked how I was doing and I said, I am trying, I am really trying and she said sometimes when you stop trying so hard and just be good to your body good things happen...

So lets all take that advice and start begin better to our bodies... We to try and stop puttin so much garbage into our bodies all of the time, now and then is ok, but not all of the time. I have said it before and maybe I just need to keep reminding myself... I can do this, I can be healthier both inside and out...

Maybe the next time we run into each other, I will start seeing those same changes she is seeing in me as well...

Musicsongbird

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 23 #JoinMyJourney

I have been having some internal turmoil over some things I have overheard recently and it just bothered me and I need to vent... I have been at my job for almost 10 years and it still frustrates me to know end when someone makes a comment that they are going to find a "REAL" job or a "GROWN UP" job... I'm sorry? Can someone please explain to me what constitutes either of these "JOBS"? Is the place I go to every day and clock in and earn a living at not really a JOB? Am I required to certain amount of money before it actually means I have a job? Because if that is the case the US government owes me a whole lot of money back in taxes I have paid out for my make believe job. Actually for all of my make believe jobs that I have worked since I was 16 years old.

I know just how the conversation would go:
Um, hi yes IRS person I would like all of my taxes I have paid to the US government back for the past 27 years minus the 2 years I worked that office job …

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 22 #JoinMyJourney

If you have nver suffered from headaches or any aches and pains in general than count yourself blessed... For those that are plagued with body pain or migraines I feel for you... I too suffer from migraines, not on a regular basis like many friends and family members but on a semi regular basis... Mine are usually brought on by triggers such as food, environment such as too much smoke or other allergans and extreme stress like the one that took over my system yesterday...

What started out as what most would consider just a typical headache quickly excalated in one of the worst migraines I can remember in my entire life... Some may ask what have you been eating? What has the weather been like? But I will tell you that I know that this was 100% a stress powered migraine... I have been carrying around so much stress over the past month that this was sadly inevidilbe for me... I had no other outlet... well probably not true but at the end of every day I was so exhausted that there was no …

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 21 #JoinMyJourney

I wish there was a magic wand that I could wave and all of my mixed emotions would just go away... I guess that is why I got my peace tattoo on my wrist... It isn't magic but it is a good reminder of when I start to feel overwhelmed that I need to try and find peace... Sometimes, I can just stop and look at it, sometimes I simply press it and I just focus on it and pray... There is so much going on with work for me right now and this week especially and I know I am going to really be going to be focusing on it quite a bit... 
The same thing goes for when I become disappointed about something or someone... Try as I may in not feeling sad about something they did or didn't do I try and focus on God's peace and knowing He will get me through it and even though that person may have let me down, God won't ever...
I guess I am just a bundle of emotions right now and need to find my peace...
musicsongbird

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 20 #JoinMyJourney

A new day is here and the sun rose and the birds sang and I managed get outside and enjoy the day... We went to a local Blueberry farm and picked fresh blueberries, infact we picked over 9 pounds of them... So I guess my blogging/venting really helped me last night because that wasn't all I did today... I came home and napped afterward... LOL  OK that really isn't any different than most of my weekends but when I got up I wasn'twearing my pajamas... wait a minute... it's not what you think... I wasn't wearing them when I layed down for the nap to start with... Nope, not sounding any better... OK, rewind... What is "normal" around my home is go out for Friday errands and when we come home it out of regular clothes and into pajamas... Well today, I left my regular clothes on and when the nap was over it was up and out the door for groceries and then when we returned home it wasn't into PJs and straight to the couch... Nope, I can hardly believe it mysel…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 19 #JoinMyJourney

Long time no write... Out of town guests and unwanted illness have invaded my life over the past month... Not that I haven't wanted to share but not had the strength from day to day sometimes...Sometimes it's physical strength and sometimes it's honestly mental.... Just making it through work and making it home when you are not feeling yourself is hard enough...

So much has been happening and so much to say, but still feeling like something is holding me back... Part of it is things I can't officially share yet and part of it is I feel like I am repeating things I have written before, the same old same old... The I filled my mind and the page with promises and nowI have failed on those and now I feel like I am just spewing the same thing again about, now here I am at the beginning of a journey...

Well guess what? I started to climb up the hill to better health and I got to a place where I thought I was doing ok and I hit a bump and rolled back down the hill past where …

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 18 #JoinMyJourney

It's been a bit since my last post and I was basically off Gluten except for a few bights here and there... That is until last weeks vacation... Alot of friends were asking how I was feeling and I thought I was doing pretty good, but I wasn't quite sure to what extent... Well I decided since I was on vacation, that meant it was going to be a foodie free for all... Well, guess what... Brain fog came rolling back in, the tiredness creeped back in and my tingly fingers were a little tinglier... I'm not saying it was like I had none of those symptoms and than BAM, they were back... I am saying I noticed a difference in how I felt being off Gluten for a month and then when I was eating it again...

So may be sceptical and that is fine, but I feel like I pay more attention to what my body is telling me now than I did before... I want to be better... I be healthier and have energy and not get migraines, which I ended the week with a mild one...

Now on to something else that has be…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 17 #JoinMyJourney

So it has been over a month now and I have to say, going Gluten-free isn't the hardest thing in the world to do, but it also isn't the easiest... I think the hardest thing through all of this is giving up night shade veggies... Tonight was a very unsuccessful night for that... I ate tomatos and peppers and if I pay some sort of price for it, it was worth it... I hope...

The easy part of being gluten-free is the home side of it... It's easy to eliminate eatting it at home... The hard part is when you go out, or just leave home in general, unless you bring your own food with you... I totally feel for people that have a severe allergy...

The other hard part about going gluten-free is the police... Now I don't meant he kind that carry a badge and a gun and give out tickets...  I mean the well meaning friends and family that feel as though they need to watch everything that you put in your mouth as if you aren't already reading labels yourself... And believe me... I hav…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 16 #JoinMyJourney

So we are officially 10 days in on the Gluten-free life and it hasn't really been that bad to be perfectly honest... I have friends that have been living GF for some time and I get mixed feelings from them on it... Some say it is super difficult and others say it isn't that bad... Well, if you just make the deicision to keep a positive poutlook on it and just know that no matter where you go to eat, you will more than likely be able to find something you can consume, you are ok... Now, I am only speaking for those of us that are going to GF for a chance to see if this is a means to a better life... Meaning, I am going to feel better over all... I am not speaking for those that are allergic or suffer from celiac disease... I am also NOT a doctor or a nutritionist... I am only speaking from my own personal experience...

My Mom and I have really just been tracking how we have been feeling physically and emotionally because like I have said before, both are closely tied... I have …

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 15 #JoinMyJourney

I am feeling so good today... I don't know if it's psychosomatic or if it's really because we have been eating differently with this elimination life choice, I hate the D word, but I am noticing I am  more energetic throughout the day...  Now it's a matter of waiting... Waiting to see if the numbness in my hands subside... Waiting to see if the swelling in my fingers lessen...  Waiting to see if my weight goes down, which in turn will help with the joint pain I am experiencing... Also if my sensitivity i have to touch and my emotional sensitivity I have been experiencing as well...

Everything within us is connected... So you are reading this saying, yes of course it is, the skeletal system, the nervous system, digestion, etcetera... But it goes beyond that... You hear the term garbage in, garbage out... That applies to our bodies in so many ways... If we intake food that is bad for us, so for me, it's the food my food is considering toxic, like gluten for instance;…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 14 #JoinMyJourney

So we are 4 days into a new month and a new eating plan in our household... My mom has been living with fibromyalgia for sometime and I have shown many of the symptoms so we have decided to start following the recommendations that many medical professionals are making for those that live with this condition...

So the items we are going to do away with for now and see how our symptoms improve are Gluten, Night Shade plants and added sugars... We know many people eliminate caffeine and dairy but we don't eat a huge amount of dairy since we switched to almond milk years ago and we usually only have one cup of coffee a day at the most or iced tea if we have any.... I already stay away from artificial sweetners because they are the one of migraine triggers... It's pure sugar, agave or honey for me...

So the reason I bring up the artificial sweetner is this... I know so many people who are headache or migraine sufferers and they don't know why... You really need to pay attention…

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 13 #JoinMyJourney

It's been sometime since my last post and I have like so many others screwed any resolutions I had made to myself so now it's just me being me again and back to where I started... Feeling a little more broken than before. Feeling tired, feeling defeated and just not sure which direction to go next...

Don't worry, Mom knows what is going on... She is helping me with this new battle, we are fighting it together... We think we know what may be causing some of my issues, the cause of my present mental state and we are praying that path we are chosing is one that will lead us to the answers... Maybe even the answers to some other questions that I can share later on, but for now I ask for your Prayer and happy thoughts as I begin a quest if you will to get out of this fog I am currently drifting through...

Some are probably thinking what is this all about? Well, for the past month or two I have just not been feeling like me... I have gained all of the weight back that I lost, my…