Friday, December 9, 2016

Every Bite, Every Morsel - Day 1 #JoinMyJourney

Another year is quickly coming to an end and so many things are rolling back to me... pounds mostly... and now I must begin a new journey and this time I am going to do something a little more live than I have done in the past... When I first began Skinny Girl...In a Fat Girl's Body; on January 1, 2012 it was all about me and living my life and the day to day observances and really a personal challenge to myself that I could write for an entire year...

Well, I don't want to wait until January 1 this time around, because I need to start now... I need to get my health under control now... I was doing so well in the beginning of this year... I was down almost 30 pounds at one point and something in side of me just gave up... There was no injury that prevented me from getting out and moving, no sickness that kept me bed ridden... Just me... Something in my mind and my heart that started me on the down word spiral to where I sit now at 347 pounds...
Not my heaviest by any means but not where I expected to find myself at this point in my life...

I have gone from starting to be ok with looking at myself in the mirror again, to dreading that reflection staring back at me from the first chin down... I know in my head I can hear people saying, "I can't believe she is being so open about all of this.." but you know what, I have kept my battle quiet for too long and look where it got me? In the past I hid my Weight Watchers meetings back in the STL, I hid when I was "dieting", I hid when I joined a gym but I was never ashamed of clearing my plate when I was out to eat or ordering a dessert even if I was filled to the gills...

For me I am finally realizing that it is a matter of perspective... For so long I felt as though I had to keep it a secret because if I failed at all of those things no one would know and I could just go on living... But in fact, if I share with others what I am going through on this journey, maybe they are also going through a similar journey and together we can learn things about each other and ourselves that will help us both make better choices and we can cheer each other on and hold each other accountable...

So my new challenge to myself is to blog nightly once again, throughout this next year... Sharing my insights on my journey, my food choices, and excercise battles and maybe some new recipes along the way... And most of all I hope to celebrate along the way as well....

love always,
musicsongbird