Saturday, April 30, 2016


So no one said it was going to be easy but I am making little changes that are making a big impact on my day to day life... 90 days ago I re-downloaded the Myfitnesspal app and have been logging my food and exercise everyday and I am honestly seeing a difference in what I eat and how I feel...

No one said this journey would be easy or quick but day by day I notice new things and feel a little better... I think my Mom said it best this weekend when she said that she never thought she would enjoy eating healthy foods... and I totally agree... I still have people ask if I am dieting and I have to tell them how much I dislike that word, DIET...

When you Diet it is so temporary... It makes me think of fads that come and go, usually not under a doctor's supervision and usually involving cutting out something like carbs or everything white or all sugars or everything with green stripes or some odd reasoning behind it... I prefer to look at what I am doing as a lifestyle overhaul... You see, cause with all of the changes I am making I have no intention of ever going back to the sizes I am leaving behind... I have done the fad diets, the no carbs and the no sugar and the cut the gluten or the smoothies for a week etc..etc... and they work for awhile but you know what happened in the end... Well if you have ever seen me then you can probably guess...

I haven't always carried around an extra person, but the older I got the heavier I got... I did this, no one else... I love food and it has been a great companion... I used it as a comforter and protector, as something to cheer myself up and as a reward... I have decided for myself that I will no longer let food have that kind of control over me... I need to remember what food is for and not give it any more status than what it actually is... Food is here for us as nutrition to fuel our body... yes it's fun to use it to celebrate every once in a while but when did we decide it was something to use as a reward, especially is we are losing weight? That shouldn't even be in our mind set... Congratulations you just lost 20 pounds here is a 500 calorie piece of cheesecake???

Stop!!! Rewind... It's time to start reminding ourselves that we aren't animals and we shouldn't reward ourselves with food like we do our pets or they do the animals at the zoo... If you have lost 20 pounds maybe your shirt is baggy, reward yourself with a new one and donate your old one to a charity! And then share your experience with others so than maybe someone else can feel as good as you do when they reach a goal they set for them self!

You are worth more than a 500 calorie piece of cheesecake...

Sunday, April 17, 2016


I forgot what it' felt like to eat healthy... When I lived alone I ate a certain way because I didn't have a lot of money and so I spent my money wisely but on healthier choices and I found myself losing weight and now all of these years later I am consciously tracking the food I am putting in my body and I find that the longer I track it, the more I feel my cravings changing... Does this mean I don't want a piece of cake or a cookie now, absolutely not, it just means I don't find myself wanting to mindlessly sit down and pout away a bag of chips or candy or cookies... I feel like I am OK with just a little something...

If you don't allow yourself a variety of foods then you will end up sabotaging yourself in the end... I think the less extra sweets I have, other than fruits which are naturally sweet, the less processed sweets I crave... Before I couldn't drive past Krispy Kreme or Baskin Robbins without wanting to pull in... Now I'm OK with a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios after dinner for something sweet if I need a little something on the sweet side...

I am trying to get at least 5000 steps per day but some days are better than others... It's hard when you work in an office and don't always get away from it during the day but I am hoping that once I get the food under control, then the exercise routine will soon follow... I know that every pound I loose helps make that much more of a difference to the arthritis in my knees...

This past weekend we had storms roll through and one of my cats was unaccounted for, so being a good cat mom I went looking for her and the first place I went to look was under the beds... Well a few years ago that was a whole lot easier to do... Now getting down is a lot easier than getting back up... Ever since I injured both of my knees, about a year a part from each other, arthritis has reared it's ugly head and kneeling or squatting is out of the question without me be in horrible pain... So I have to quickly get onto my tummy and then when I need to get up I have to think about how I can get up just as quickly with the least amount of pain... I hope and pray that one day, I will lose enough pain that I can get on the floor and get up again and not want to scream at the top of my lungs...

Mom always says it sucks to get old... Well it really sucks even more when you are fat and you get old... because you are cutting your time shorter and your quality of life as well, so this is my time to do what is best for me...


Monday, April 11, 2016


I messed up tonight, I lost another fight
I still mess up but I'll just start again
I keep falling down, I keep on hitting the ground
I always get up now to see what's next

Birds don't just fly, they fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it wrong

I won't give up, no I won't give in
Till I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won't give up, no I won't give in
Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail

[Verse 2]
Look at how far you've come, you filled y`our heart with love
Baby you've done enough, take a deep breath
Don't beat yourself up, don't need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last, but we did our best

I won't give up, no I won't give in
Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won't give up, no I won't give in
Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail

I'll keep on making those new mistakes
I'll keep on making them every day
Those new mistakes

Shakira - Try Everything "Zootopia" Soundtrack

From the moment I heard this song I knew it was going to be a new addition to my get me up and moving songs on my phone, computer, etc... The beat gets you moving but the words just hit me right away... So very often I have given up on things before I even began... Obviously this is my first rodeo when it comes to the weight-loss journey but for some reason as much as I believed I could do it there was always a small sliver of doubt in the back of my mind saying it's impossible and just give up... I don't know why this time feels so different...  

Maybe it's the support of certain people this time around that didn't have before... Maybe it's the decisions I have made within myself like it says in the song, "I won't give up, No I won't give in, til I reach the end and then I'll start again. No I won't leave, I wanna try everything I wanna try even though I could fail..."

Because in light of it, the only way I would truly fail is if I give up completely and never try at all and that is not going to happen. I haven't been very healthy for the first few months of this year and it has been hard because of being sick I missed out on a lot of goodbyes in my both of my locations as well as quite a few hellos as well. You don't get those moments back and it's a lot harder to build that relationship with people when you meet them later on. 

I don't want to be sick like that at the beginning of the year anymore, just like I am every year... I know part of that issue is because I am not physically healthy... If I were more physically fit then my body could fight of disease better and I wouldn't get sick like that as often... 

Another huge thing that hit me this weekend that solidified my determination to be healthier and make better choices was balancing my check book for the first time in a long while... I am embarrassed to say that since March 22, 2015 I have spent, Mom don't read this part OK...$414.70 just on McDonalds. Sometimes that was breakfast with Mom and a lot of times it wasn't... I know, I could have paid for a Disney Cruise with that money... I don't want to think of the calories wasted either because honestly it makes me sick just thinking of it...

So taming the fast food beast, recreating my eating habits, retraining my brain to crave the right food and physical activity... Special shout out to the "She Hulk" for taking me for a Walk today ;)   LOL!!!

Just remember to Try Everything!

Thursday, April 7, 2016


It's been a long month... I haven't written in awhile again. I go through these peaks and valleys where I just don't feel like communicating out of my finger tips and right now I guess Yelping tonight got my juices flowing.

So to catch you up I have started a pretty huge step over the past month, I am and have been actively tracking my food and calories and steps/activity through an app called My Fitness Pal and as painful as it is some days I do it. It's not easy realizing what you are actually putting into your body. Entering in steps and calories burned is easy because you get those calories back, but definitely not the opposite. But I have had some really supportive friends and it's made it a lot easier this time around and believe me I have been around this block a time or twelve, but this time it definitely feels different.

This time I feel more thoughtful I think... I feel more focused... Now if I can just get my body to cooperate I will be in a great place... We had a team outing today and I got in over 9000 steps one of the higher days I have had this year due to all of my sickness and it makes me so frustrated because I used to have days like that all of the time and I didn't go home at the end of the day feeling like I had been hit like a mac truck like I did today after a 4 hour team outing...

But I have to remember that being sick off and on for 3 months did a number on my body and so did the past 20+ years of adding pound after pound on to my joints...

I didn't put all of this weight on over night and it's not going to come off like that either. I have to be ok with the 1-2 pounds a week. I also have to be ok with the 0-.25 pounds per week sometimes because stuff happens. But I have to realize when it starts becoming weeks of gains instead of loss; it is time to reevaluate...

Is it time for you to reevaluate???