Wednesday, January 13, 2016

1.13.2016

    Sometimes you laugh to cover the tears...
I had an over all good day today... Nothing remotely terrible in fact... At one point a friend sent me a virtual drink through Instant messenger and when I inquired why, she replied that she didn't like to drink alone... Which of course caused me to reply with many lols... Of course do not worry, the only drinking we did on the job was water and maybe tea for me and possibly a pop or soda for her... Don't want anyone to think we are up to naughty things in our trailer...

Focusing on being happy has been a great tool in keeping the stresses of every day life at bay, however it can't fix everything... Sometimes little things slip through and we have to face realities that we haven't wanted to admit to ourselves because they hurt to much...

I have been writing this blog off and on for some time now and with a title like Skinny girl in a fat body obviously there are weight battles I deal with on a daily basis... I faced one of my little unhappy feelings tonight while talking with my Mom after helping move somethings out of the shed... You may have said I had an epiphany or may I just had a face slap of truth, but guess what??? Being FAT SUCKS...

I went home, like not Florida home but mid-west home, on an airplane for Christmas to surprise my family and to have to first ask the flight attendant for a seat belt extender and than pray that the flight wouldn't be full and then once I knew it wasn't pray again that no one wanted to sit in my row so I can be extra comfy for the flight so I could spread out that was just the beginning... Next I had to pray they would upgrade my car rental from an itty bitty car to at least the next size up to make sure I could fit in it comfortably to drive, which thankfully when you arrive after a 40 minute delay of taking off to begin with and you don't arrive until after midnight all they have are standard or intermediate they have to upgrade you for free...

The final thing I had to face was waiting for my family to open the door on Christmas morning and see me standing there... I am 78 pounds heavier than I was 9 years ago when I spent my last Christmas with my family... Of course looking at photos that were taken, you won't see me in many, you may hardly be able to tell I was there... At least from any that are on my phone... The ones that I have seen I hate looking at... I don't want to see them posted, they make me want to sob, even though I let my mom post the few that I may be in on her FB page...

Maybe this is my rock bottom, maybe this is what I finally needed... but I know what I don't need... A 1000 coaches... A 1000 comments of advice... I don't do well with people bombarding me, telling me what I should or shouldn't do... So please, as I have asked before, be a good cheerleader on the sideline and when you see a touchdown or even a field goal please cheer me on...

musicsongbird...


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

1.12.2016

     There is nothing more worrisome than to have your text alert go off at 6:30 in the morning from a friend because you never know what it will bring... Well this morning it was news that she was not well and wouldn't be coming into work today... Well how did this effect me exactly? Well, she was training the class I am currently shadowing to facilitate... The class I have only shadowed once and have only read through the script, if you include my time in the class I attended at Work University and yesterday when I shadowed her that would equal the amount of times I have thus far actually read the entire script... So again, how does this effect me? Since I am sure Work has many people that train said class... Um well there is the rub... In our park there are exactly 6; my friend that called in, myself, 2 others still learning the class and 2 more that know the class but come in at or after the time the class is scheduled to start and there are 9 trainees enrolled to attend at 8:00 am.

So an hour and a half later I am greeting my first class... and I didn't look back until 11:00 am and let me tell you; sometimes all you can do is hold your nose, squeeze your eyes closed and jump in feet first to the deep end of the pool. This is a class I will never forget. They were engaging and happy to be taking on this new role. It was one of those groups that you could have sat and talked with for hours but sadly you are on a time schedule and you have to stick to it as best you can...

After the class I was downloading with my leader and I jokingly asked if I needed to do anymore shadows if I promised to work on memorizing the training script... She told me I was good...

and my happiness continued another day...
musicsongbird

Trading my Sorrows

Monday, January 11, 2016

1.11.2016

      It was so nice to be back to work today. I do feel bad that a coworker/friend got a little scared when I sent her the following photo yesterday. Well the photo wasn't the scary part, the scary part was the fact that the photo never went through but the text following it did... Which read

"Having a cat scan to finally find out what's wrong with me"

 Did I mention I have been sick for the past week and I called out sick yesterday and went home sick on my last day of work last week AND missed work the day prior to that... Um January Jokes??? I can't be blamed that her phone wasn't accepting my picture message? Besides after she panicked at the text she ran to another coworker/friend and showed her my text which she promptly replied...well I won't quote her, but let's just say she
politely informed her that she may be slightly off her rocker (my words which are a little nicer than what may or may not have been actually said because I was not there and I am getting this second hand) because I had posted the photo on FB and Instagram earlier with the same tag, but since she is on neither she didn't see it. So all was good. :)

Here's something to be happy about!
A hearty guffaw will burn more calories than a nervous titter, but researchers at Vanderbilt University found adults burn an average of 1.3 calories per minute while laughing with their friends.  That’s about the same number of calories you burn while taking notes in a classroom or standing and talking on the phone.  But laughter has other benefits besides burning calories, including relief of emotional stress and a  workout for the muscles of the diaphragm, abdomen, back, and shoulders.

 Remember, Happiness and Joy are the words for the year! Laughter gets the old metabolism going so find something that tickles your funny bone and get to giggling!
\Musicsongbird

Sunday, January 10, 2016

A NEW YEAR HAS COME 1.10.2016

     It's been sometime since I have last written and I realized I was a lot happier and healthier when I was blogging.  As I was going through my photos from my holiday trip home I found this "wonderful" gem of me watching Brave in 3-D at my SIL's Dad's house and all I think is Wow, not my best look. And I have some work to do. But how does the year start off for me?  Aches, pains and sickness for the past week and now that I am finally feeling better, I am ready to get moving again and start doing something positive for myself so I don't have to start another year looking like this again.
     I was doing so well at the beginning of last year and then life and stress started getting the upper hand and in the end I came in last and the food came in first.
    Plus by the end of the year I was an emotional roller coaster letting the nasty ones in my life run my emotions instead of me taking a stand against them. Sadly sometimes when you are the only one standing up against them it makes it hard to win the battle or at least make it through it unscathed. Even when people stand on the sidelines and cheer, it isn't the same if they never pick up a sword and fight next to you for what is right. But with that being said, this year is going to be a very different one for me in many ways.
     New choices, new journeys, and if that means leaving some people behind than that's what is best for me, because in the end, it's what is best for my health and well being.
    A little while ago I did one of those silly facebook things about your word for the new year and mine in Happiness. So words like Happiness and Joy and Peace, those are the words I will focus on this year.
 So when the nasty ones try and rear their ugliness I will focus on being happy. On finding joy and focus on peace.  I will choose these things each day and I will not let them bring me down to their misery that they choose to wallow in. I willow not be the company for their misery that they desire. God put me where I am to bring a smile and to bring joy to others.  Only I can let them take my joy from me and only I can share that joy with them. And as we know it is much better to give...
A New year has come and I have returned...
Musicsongbird