Saturday, May 30, 2015

2015...5.30

 One of the hardest things about living your life out loud is that when you try something and you don't succeed, and then later you attempt that thing again you feel as though you will be judged for it, but in reality, the judgement usually is the judgement you are really feeling form yourself... So often we are worse on ourselves than we are on others... We are our worst critics...

We need to start a new path of positive self talk... Instead of negative talk like... I am so stupid, I am so fat, I am so ugly, I am no good for anyone, etc. etc... We need to start telling ourselves we are worth it, we are beautiful, we are smart, that we are worth it...

So start the positive self speak!

Musicsongbird

Thursday, May 21, 2015

2015...5.21

To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift...

It's really funny... I used to sit in weight watchers meetings years ago dreaming of the time when I would reach my goal weight and when I would get the opportunity to share my knowledge and my encouragement with others on their weight-loss journey and become a WW leader... Well sadly I failed at Weight Watchers, OK maybe I didn't fail but I gave up on it... I think the point counting got to be to much for me and I got bored with it so like so many other "diet" programs over my life, I quit...

But I have never given up on that desire to help others on their journey... I guess that is why despite being severely overweight I am still so very passionate about the Healthy Pursuits program at work, because I feel like this finally something that is speaking to me and little by little it helping motivate me... But sadly i still have a few friends that are TOO over zealous and TOO pushy and trying to make me do more that I am personally prepared for and they don't listen to what I have to say and today I had to actually tell them to back off because let me make this clear Friends...

I know you want to help, but when you get PUSHY and DEMANDING about MY health, you make me want to retreat and hide... When I am READY for your help. I will ask... Until then, please let me do it in my time... What works for you may not work for me... In the end this is my battle and if I ask for recruits to help me fight this war be ready for a call, but until then please be patient with me, I am fragile, despite the fluffy exterior...

Now back to my journey toward leadership... So the funny thing about dreams is they can happen even before you reach certain goals... You see I am bigger than when I began WW and yet I have been appointed to help run a healthy living support group of sorts in our office to continue what we accomplished in our first Healthy Pursuits competition this year for work... It's a beginning and I am not always prefect but not even the WW leaders are either...

So stay tuned for updates on my journey and see where this road goes...

musicsongbird

Sunday, May 17, 2015

2015...5.17

I don't understand why people stay in relationships where they are treated like they aren't worth anything, like their opinion is worthless, where they can't go where they want or do what they want without having to report back to the other person, who they aren't even married to... I mean I know mentally some people stay because they truly don't believe they deserve anyone better or that person provides them with a sense of belonging in some twisted way but maybe I have seen to many hurt by relationships like this to just stand by and watch it happen to one more person... 

There is only so much damage you can stand on the sidelines and watch happen before you make the decision to walk away or step in and ask what they are doing? Because, sometimes I honestly don't know if they realize where they are headed when they are finally forced to face the truth... Once someone is brave enough to step out of their comfort zone and show them what is going on...

Either way, you can't carry their burden for them any longer...

You need your freedom from their struggles...

musicsongbird

Thursday, May 14, 2015

2015...5.14

I don't know why I have been putting off writing for so long... I know it is like my other form of therapy and honestly it is so much cheaper and less time consuming and sometimes a lot more emotionally freeing... But I am back, for now...

So much has been going on so many thoughts and emotions trying to keep them from taking control and sadly this was not the week that they stayed in their boxes... They escaped like the evil little creatures they can be...

I feel like I have been on a roller coaster without a secure restraint... My emotions just taking over and not letting me have any kind of control from time to time... The tears just spilling over and rolling down my face... But thankfully there were several little heroes that stood beside me and held my hand and let me cry and get through the pain, fear, anxiety and hurt that I was feeling and I now feel as though I am seeing things clearer once again...

I am realizing that I am not allowing myself enough time for myself... I am also not asking for help when I am feeling overwhelmed... I guess I feel like it's just easier to it myself because there is a fear that in the end after someone else does it, I may have to just do it over and do it again myself, but I need to learn to trust that others can handle the tasks I give them and complete them just as well as I can...

So, I will work on that moving forward...
Musicsongbird