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Showing posts from June, 2014

it didn't just show up...

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Sometimes it's just easier to give up then to keep going... It's easier to just give in to the mental battle going on inside me head and surrender... Everyday I read all of these great success stories of people losing weight and feeling better and I have trouble getting off the couch some days...  Even though I am taking Plexus, it isn't going to lose the weight on it's own... I have been through enough weight loss programs in my life to know that, but then I get on the scale and it's telling me that I am just not doing it... That the plexus isn't working and my head starts to say that you should just go for the money back guarantee...  So STOP already... STOP the negative... STOP dooming myself to failure once again... I need to find a way off the couch... To stop the late evening snacking... The Plexus is helping me get my energy back and helping suppress my cravings, now I need to do my part in making sure I don't eat out of boredom or sadness... I need …

sick...

I have never had a job in my life where I have felt bad for calling in sick... but I do now... It's so silly because that is why we have sick pay or vacation bank so that when we get sick we stay home... But I feel bad... I can hear people in my head saying don't feel bad... Everything will take care of itself but I really love my job and miss it when I am not there... Sick I know... Mentally not physically even though I am...

I know my body needs rest so it can get better and being at work doesn't allow that...

So please pray for a speedy recovery for me... Coughing is so over rated...

musicsongbird

now...

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Months have passed since I have regularly posted anything... Many things have happened... 

I have come to terms with a few things in my life, I am sleeping a million times better and I am actively working on losing weight... 

As you may or may not know I have a hard time liking myself and it goes all the way back to the damage that was done by a family friend. A grown up my parents trusted. 
Looking back now I realize he treated me more like a girlfriend instead of the child I was. Buying me jewelry and sending me flowers, just not normal things a grown man should do for a 6-10 year old. 
I didn't truly realize that I had been abused until a few years ago and telling my brothers was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it was part of my healing... I went through a year of therapy, I also spent about a year with a health/life coach. Each time peeling back the layers of hurt I buried myself in...
Then I was introduced me to my acupuncturist and I instantly felt a trust with her. She h…