Wednesday, April 2, 2014

4/2/2014

Lots of contemplating, lots of thoughts in my head... I needed grounding so badly today... Anxiety over my doctors visit tomorrow, anger over the fact that I allowed myself to mess up my checking account because I missed one entry a week ago now I have to pay for it by not having any money for a week... I am so thankful I live with Mom or I would have to call and ask to borrow money for gas...

Struggling daily with my weight... Why is it that I get so gung ho in the beginning but when others find out what I am doing or I lose just a little bit, I crash and burn and give up... A huge part of me believes I am just going to die fat... I know I shouldn't negative speak but it's how I am feeling...

Tomorrow is a new day and a new start... I need to make me a priority... I need to stop putting everyone else before me... I know that this money thing is a wake up call... I know that this doctors visit is a wake up call... I need to focus on my faith and on me...

I took part in this challenge at work and I need to give it my all... I need to get up and get moving even when I don't feel like it... I know that is just the devil holding me back... I am grown, I don't need anyone to go with me, but it's nice to have someone by your side... even when I am alone, I'm not truly alone...

I'm back...