Saturday, October 19, 2013

Day 658...Year 2

Probably one of the biggest things to happen to me in the last decade is getting to the root of my emotional history and getting medical assistance for my depression... For so many years there was a certain stigma attached to people that suffered from depression... That it wasn't real, that they weren't finding their true happiness and they just needed to snap out of it...

In my mind I knew if I admitted that I was depressed than they would expect me to go through therapy and they would dope me up until I couldn't feel anything... Well that wasn't true...

BFF helped me realize I needed to talk to my doctor because honestly, I just wasn't happy... At work no one could tell that on the inside I was miserable... I was still the laughing, crazy, magical me that everyone expected... However, when I was home I was sad and depressed... BFF put up with a lot, he was an amazing support... When I finally went on Meds I didn't tell anyone for awhile... Not ever BFF, because I didn't want to admit I had a problem, plus I wanted to see if they truly worked... When I finally started sharing my experience with others I was shocked to hear that I wasn't alone...

With all of the positive feedback I received from Friends I decided it was time to sit down and talk to someone about all of the pain I was carrying inside... After over a year of therapy I was feeling a million times better... Many things were discovered and I learned a lot, things I still use now when having to deal with difficult situations...

However, I know my journey isn't complete... I still have healing to do, but these were giant steps in the right direction to find that healing I need...

Musicsongbird