Monday, September 23, 2013

Day 632...Year 2

There is nothing worse than having to buy new bras and going into the fitting room with that floor length mirror so you can watch yourself struggle to get a band of elastic to rotate around your mid section that may or may not be the right size for you and then struggle to get the straps up and afraid you are going to destroy this item of unpurchased clothing before you even get it on...

Then to make matters worse, I am looking at this person in the mirror that is struggling horribly and I feel bad for her and I see how much added weight she is carrying around and then I snap back in reality when I accept that the poor woman is me... All I can think is, how... How did I allow this to happen? How did I let myself get to this point... And I can't think of one thing in response... I have no viable defense for what I have allowed to happen to my body... What I have allowed food to become to me...

I know it didn't happen over night and I think about all of these years that it has taken to get me to this point... But if it takes years to get it off again, I will... I may fall and stumble along the way, but I can't go on the way I am... I have said this so many times it just sounds redundant, but I can't give up...

musicsongbird