Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Day 578...Year 2

It was a good day today... Noticing a little bit how coming off the morning pills feel... But nothing drastic... Just listening to my heart and looking within when I start to feel something I face it... Let it out, name it and then cough... OK you are probably like... Cough??? It is something my acupuncturist has me do when I am trying to let go of something... Believe me it works... I feel better and I can move forward...

I just feel like I have a lot more coughing to do...

I will say, this summer I have been happier than I have been in a very long time...  I am laughing more and I am singing again...

I am letting go and letting God fill in all of the dark places that still remain...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Day 577...Year 2

I spoke with my doctor last Friday and I am slowly being taken off my morning happy 2.0 pill... I am ready to face whatever is hindering me from true happiness...

However, I don't think I will find that happiness until I dig out whatever is buried in the closet of my mind... I have faced so many things but somehow I don't think I have truly cleaned everything out...

I need to get off the couch and get on the road to recovery... I have already  been working on the mental, now it's time for the physical...

I recently discovered a young lady on Facebook who fought her way from 378 down to 240 pounds, without surgery... This is a great posting she had this past week and I am going to carry it with me everyday...


At the next sign of hunger, I am going to look before I eat and recognize what is real and what is emotional...

Musicsongbird

Monday, July 29, 2013

Day 576...Year 2

I am having mixed feelings about my friend leaving Typhoon to go back to his previous location... I am sad because our team is changing but I am happy for him because this could lead to something even better...

I know he is struggling with this but the worst thing you can do when put in a situation like this is to just give up... You have to remember that everyone is watching how you handle situations... Do you just blow everything off? or do you keep working, business as usual?

I know what it feels like to have to train your replacement... I have been through this same situation... Being told they want to keep you, but with the way the circumstances played out, they had to give it to someone else...

It seems unfair but we all know the rules when the game starts... If you don't like the rules then don't play the game...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Day 575...Year 2

I am at a loss... Nothing is coming together right in my head as I type... The day went well, the evening went well... So nothing more to say than good night...

May all of your dreams, for yourself, come true...

Believe in yourself...
Musicsongbird

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Day 574...Year 2

I now know why people buy pecans already shelled... We thought it would be cheaper to buy them in the shell and shell them ourselves... Well, it is more cost effective, but what the lady at the place where we bought them made it look easy, both Mom and I are struggling to crack them... But we won't give up...

It's funny because there are times in our lives when others make things look so easy, that anyone should be able to do it... But then when we attempt the same thing, we find that we struggle... But if you think about it... Most people aren't just born good at things, they need to practice to get to that point where they make it look easy...

When you say something is too hard, then you are giving that thing all of the power and you are setting yourself up for defeat...

Take little steps and in time you will wonder why you ever thought it was hard...

Musicsongbird

Friday, July 26, 2013

Day 573...Year 2

After a long one tank road trip today, I am fighting to keep my eyes open...

I love the adventures we have and I must have had a great time or I wouldn't be warn out...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Day 572...Year 2

It's not the price of the gift, it's the thought behind it...

No words were more true than these...

Today my co-workers and I decided to celebrate Christmas in July with Lunch out and a Dollar Store Gift exchange... We could spend $5 on each person and you had to shop at a $1 type store... We wrote out a list of our favorite things and then we each went shopping to find the perfect gifts...

I got a bunch of great fun little things like an M&M Candle, grow your own Dino and Reese's Pieces!!!! Put the gifts aren't what really mattered, it was the laughter and happiness from the time together... As each person unwrapped their gifts you could see the thought that went into these silly and sometimes serious gifts...

As I think back on the past 5 months that I have been in Typhoon, I realized just how much my tiny group of friends there mean to me... It's not just a superficial friendship, but one with depth...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Day 571...Year 2

An eventful day was had...

Lunch with the COT team, all 6 of us... We need to do that more often... Great food and great laughs... Memories were made and inside jokes were created...

Home and then an adventure with BFF...

Dinner with Mom and the evening spent with Ducks, Beards, Christmas wrapping paper and cats...

Now, it is almost tomorrow and I am wrapping up my day...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Day 570...Year 2

Some days all you need is a creativity boost to brighten your mood...

To shut off the computer and just let the creative juices flow...

It also doesn't hurt to have the wit of Si going on in the back ground... Laughing can also help the creative juices flow...

Find a hobby you love and maybe haven't had time for in awhile and make time...

You'll be Happy, Happy, Happy when you are done...

Musicsongbird

Monday, July 22, 2013

Day 569...Year 2

Sometimes things don't turn out exactly how you would like them, but that doesn't mean you give up...

Now I am talking in general I am not talking about me at this particular time so please no jumping to conclusions...

Sometimes what we want for ourselves right now, may not be the path we are to take... But when things don't go our way, that doesn't mean we quit or give up and not see things through... I have been having some pretty great talks with my leader the past few days about finding our right place at work... I'm not going to trash the union, but because of their involvement in some aspects of our company, it can be harder for those of us without a ton of years of seniority to get the position we are hoping for right away, which can be very disheartening for most...

I have been on a yoyo for the past year between my two TA's and I finally came to the realization that I can't worry about what may happen two months down the road when my TA is slated possibly end... Even if the outcome in the end is that I return to Epcot, I can't let that effect my job performance... Your TA doesn't end when your status changes... From the moment you says yes to a position they are watching you and that is still true once it ends...They are watching to see how you grow as an employee but also how you handle difficult situations...

No one ever said Life was fair... But you can make it better for yourself if you don't give up even when things don't go your way... Again, you have to look at it like that book in the series of your life is ending, but a new and exciting book is being written, if you allow it to be...

Musicsongbird...

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Day 568...Year 2

Many many things to share... First and foremost... My Mom is amazing... I can't tell her enough how much she means to me... For everything she does for me... Her response was, that is what Moms are for... Well I am so blessed to have her... God did awesome when He gave me her...

Second, I have once again been attacked by the Kitty Kat Pee Patrol, so I am couch bound for the night... When I told BFF, his response was that it was liquid baby love... Ewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Funny, but Ewwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Third, whoever said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", clearly never had a Twinkie with chocolate Moose tracks Ice Cream... or Tasty Kakes knock off version of Twinkies and Walmart's version of Moose Tracks...

Which brings me to my final point... I know my 2nd happy pill has made it harder to lose weight, but so has my hand and arm... They just keep moving from the plate to my mouth, or the bag to my mouth or the ice cream container or the queso jar or... You get my drift... I used to be a firm believer in he "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," but as I really look at that statement, I need to realize that skinny, doesn't equal healthy...

I know with my body shape I am never going to be stick thin unless I stop eating or get really sick, and I pray neither of those things ever happen... Because I like food and I hate being sick... I just want to be the right size for my body frame... I am tired of getting in the car and making sure my tummy doesn't rub against the steering wheel... Or making sure my work shirt is tucked in and buttoned up fully... That a button hasn't popped open exposing the world to the stark white color of my tummy...

The pin doctor told me something interesting... It's ok to have a little tummy... You actually don't want a super flat stomach because it is actually harder on your respiratory system... when you are that thin, you tend to focus on holding in your stomach to achieve that flat look and you are putting stress on your diaphragm... (Don't quote me exactly)

So, I need to just stop because today was national junk food day and Ice Cream Day and I celebrated both... It's ok to have a treat now and then, but it doesn't need to be daily... If you have to have dessert everyday, have some fruit!

I don't want to die from over eating...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Day 567...Year 2

It's so nice to know that even though I am rapidly approaching 40, that my Mom still doesn't mind taking care of me when I am hurting or don't feel good...

This morning I not only slept in majorly but when I got up and got moving I realized I had hurt my back... My low back hurt so I bad, it hurt to walk... I knew from previous back strains, that laying down is counter productive but the only way I was comfortable was sitting on the couch... Mom lathered on the Icy Hot and then I sat with the heating pad and as the tension in my back released, I felt more relaxed and Mom had me take a nap on her bed since it is firmer than mine...

I thanked my Mom like half a dozen times today for all she does for me... It doesn't matter how old we get, we will always be our parents baby...

Musicsongbird

Friday, July 19, 2013

Day 566...Yr 2

Sleep is knocking at my door once again... I didn't do enough today to be this exhausted... I need to get to the bottom of this...

Need sleep...
Musicsongbird

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Day 565...Year 2

Tonight I got caught up with an old and dear friend of mine... We haven't talked in months and we realized it was way to long...

Good friends can be hard to come by... When you have one or two, hold on to them for all they are worth...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Day 564...Year 2

It's funny that when you finally get honest with yourself and then you get confirmation from someone else that you are heading in the right direction...

I always tell my new cast when they are taking their training assessment, that they need to trust their first instinct... So very often we second guess ourselves when what we should be doing is trusting ourselves to make the right decision...

musicsongbird

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Day 563...Year 2

So tonight I finally decided to read about the two happy pills I am taking, one in the morning and one at night and I believe I have come to the conclusion that I need to stop taking the morning one... Don't worry I will see my Doctor before taking myself off...

The reasons are that I am experiencing side effects from it and I don't believe I have had any real change since adding this new pill...

Since taking this new medicine I have developed a dry mouth condition, which worsens over night... My sleep has been awful... I don't wake up feeling rested anymore... I have been suffering from head aches on a pretty regular basis, it's not always the weather that is causing it... I have been having minor dizzy spells off and on... But probably the biggest thing is that I have gained back almost all of the of the weight I had lost... I know I have splurged now and then but I have become more active in the last few weeks and I am being more mindful of my food intake, but the scale has actually gone up instead of down and it worries me...

So tomorrow I will be calling and making a doctors appointment, because I just can't stand this anymore... I know if can get my weight under control, I know other parts of my life will also get under control...

I don't want to look this way anymore...
Musicsongbird

Monday, July 15, 2013

Day 562...Year 2

Don't you love when you are with friends and someone says something and it leave you all in tears and everyone else around you has no idea what is so funny...

It's those times in our lives where something just hits our funny bone the right way and we loose control with laughter... And we don't care that we might look silly, we just revel in the moment...

I think God gives up those moments to help us relieve tension and stress in our lives... It's like a fountain of joy is just bubbling up inside... Just be careful what you are doing or that joy may bubble out your nose in the former of caramel apple pie... ;)

Laughter is good, laughter is freeing, it is joy unleashed... Just let it happen...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Day 561...Year 2

It feels so good to train the new trainers... Especially when I get to sit down and go through the whole training layout with my Merchandise trainers... It brought back the times I was asked to have the new trainers at Epcot shadow me...

It was nice to see their excitement over the new position they have been chosen for... It is so nice to be able to pass on my stories and knowledge to others...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Day 560...Year 2

Never give up on a dream, even when that voice inside you tells you to give up, you're not good enough... You need to be twice as loud and tell it to watch you succeed... 

Tomorrow I am excited to once again share my Disney Dream story with some new Disney Trainers... My once piece of advice I always tell them, is always believe in you and never give up on your dreams... 

If I would have listened to that nasty voice in my head, I wouldn't have successfully installed my first toggle bolts tonight, despite my lack of the appropriate drill bit size... But I prevailed and didn't give up...

Musicsongbird

Friday, July 12, 2013

Day 559...Year 2

I am at my breaking point and enough is enough... I am tired of being tired all the time, of my work costumes feeling like they are shrinking when I know they aren't...

I just need to learn to say no and to get off my butt...

let it begin...
musicsongbird

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Day 558...Year 2

So earlier this week I made "enchiladas" for dinner... The reason I put them in quotes is because our version of enchis are more like chicken burritos with enchilada sauce poured over them and then baked... Well I ran out of the chicken and bean mixture before I got to the final enchilada and so I just stuffed a tortilla with cheese and put it in the end of the pan to make it full...

After it was ready, I served Mom and I and I split the cheese one in two so she could try it... In the end she actually enjoyed it better than our "family recipe" and I offered to make them for her the next time we decide to go Mexican...  I promise there is a point to this whole tale...

Well, fast forward to this morning while I am driving to work, I started planning my day and thought about how we would be having the leftover enchiladas for dinner... Well that reminded me of a trip BFF and I took many years ago to his families lake house in the late winter/early spring...

We drove out to the Lake House one Friday and it was still pretty cold in the Ozarks... When we got to the house we settled in and got the heat going in the house and he had to check on the water heater and make sure it was running OK since it was still technically winter... Well, something wasn't working right and we had NO hot water... So he called his Dad and tried what he could to fix it over the phone... At this point it was too late to try and go down under the house to fix it, so his parents decided they would just come out to the lake the next day, so the two of us piled blankets high and went to sleep...

Well the next day his parents showed up (my borrowed family) and I remember his Dad fixed the water heater and then BFF, his Mom and I went into town to do some shopping...

That evening his Mom made authentic cheese enchiladas and she took the time to show me how to make them...from grease to sauce and cheese...

 Now I have cooked and baked with my own Mother for many many years and have many fond memories of those times together, but this was the first time I had ever cooked with BFF's Mom... Now we have cooked many times together over the years but that was the first time and I will never forget the time she took to show me how to make one of their family favorites...

Musicsongbird


Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Day 557...Year 2

The work week is almost over, just one more day to go... I have been through quite a bit in such a short amount of time... Some things good and some things not so good, but I have managed to come out of it wiser and a bit stronger as well...

It's nice to know that when things get rough, my friends and co-workers have my back... genuinely...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Day 556...Year 2

No major pearls of wisdom this evening...

I just know that I am better for letting go of what I can't control and of putting the past behind me...

I also know that I need to let go of the fears and sadness that try to hold onto me for dear life and let God take care of it...

Musicsongbird


Monday, July 8, 2013

Day 555...Year 2

I had a day where I need to remind myself that it is not about me...

When a person comes at you and attacks you for something that happened in the past...

      It's not about me...

When you do your best to resolve the situation but your offer is shot down...

     It's not about me...

Despite your best efforts to curb the conversation and turn it around, and they still want to argue...

     It's not about me...

When they make threats and continue to rant...

     It's not about me...

We all deal with situations differently... Some are quiet and calm and others feel like the only way they can get their point across is to be mean and make threats...

     It's not about me...

I don't know what is going on in your life to make you react so negatively and harshly but please remember this...

    People treat you calmer when you are calm,
    People treat you better when you are polite,
    People treat you better when you are patient...

We all get upset at times, I get it... But don't let your anger get the best of you... Don't let it control you to the point where your "Passion" is seen as immature behavior...

If you get to that point where you are under attack or you are about to verbally attack someone else...
  Stop and take a step back and remember...

It's not about me...
Musicsongbird

Don't let yesterday take up too much of today...  - Will Rogers


Sunday, July 7, 2013

Day 554...Year 2

I heard a great quote today and it's one I need to remind myself on those days that just don't turn out as expected...

Don't let your yesterday, take up most of today...

You can't go backwards in time and change things, all you can do is look forward and not dwell on the past... It's OK to learn from your past but don't make your future all about your past...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Day 553...Year 2

Today was a day of rest for the mind and the body... After sleeping in I awoke to do a few minor projects outside with the help of BFF while he did laundry and then Mom and I ran to take recycling... Following that it was reading and then falling asleep for I guess what can only be described as rest for my body, because clearly my bodied needed it...

After awaking feeling refreshed I made my mom and I dinner... Black beans and rice with chicken sausage... Delicioso for sure...  We ended the evening watching the Gaithers and then a few videos on YouTube of the Citrus Tower in Clermont...

Over all a very nice day for me... The last thing I am doing as I type is listen to some YouTube videos of two of my most favorite Singers... Sandi Patty and Larnelle Harris... "I've Just Seen Jesus" and then my most favorite, "More than Wonderful."http://youtu.be/SRTwUvZG5a0

Refreshed...
Musicsongbird

Friday, July 5, 2013

Day 552...Year 2

I know I will always be a survivor of my childhood and I know that none of what happened to me is or was my fault nor will it ever be... But I realized again today how much it has truly effected my life and I need to stop giving it command over me... 

I wasn't born fat or "big boned"... In fact, I was a little twig up until around the 3rd grade... I think that is when the over eating started... Despite being athletic, food took it's toll on me... By about the 8th grade I weighed over 186 pounds... Looking back on it I wasn't huge but I wasn't able to wear the brands others wore... I remember getting excited because I found an Outback Red shirt that fit me... I didn't own a pair of blue jeans until I was in my later years of High School... I would wear leggings and stirrup pants... Trendy clothes just weren't made for girls my size... I think this is when I really started to adopt the "I don't care what others think about me, I'm going to be who I want to be" persona...

When I was in my 10th grade year I dropped about 30 pounds and I was wearing a 14/16 and even had a few tops that showed my tummy and I was so happy with that... But after graduation and the stress of moving away to college, I started to eat again for comfort and security and now all of these years later, I have allowed it to control my life...

I can't let it do that anymore... I am tired of feeling sleepy, I'm tired of running out of breathe easily... I want to feel comfortable in my own skin... 

Friends, as much as I love you all, I have to do this on my own...For to long I have attempted these things and let others know and the next thing I know, me and the manager at Coldstone are on a first name basis... The only thing I want from you is your moral support, not your advice...

I appreciate it but you have to understand that I am just 111 days away from turning the big 4-0... And I hate looking at myself in the mirror...I have seeing what I have allowed someone else's actions to control me as long as I have... I have got to start taking control of things myself...

I will win...
Musicsongbird

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Day 551...Year 2

I learned something very important today... When it comes to US History, I fail... :( There was a contest at work today composed of over 50 questions, mostly about our Presidents, but a few about American History in general and let me tell you... I do NOT feel smarter than a 5th grader...

I was so wrapped up in these questions, that once I turned in my answers I snagged another blank copy to bring home the questions and quiz Mom and BFF... For the contest at work we were not supposed to cheat by googling, however for home we wanted to make sure the answers were given were correct...

In the end we all came out a little bit smarter... So much so we decided to hang on to the test for next year and see who remembers the most...

Musicsongbird

Happy Birthday America!!!

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Day 550...Year 2

Time to gush about my team at work again... I have been so blessed to work with my Core Family at Epcot, but I feel doubly blessed to be working with my Typhoon Team... The three of us fit together so well... We help each other out when we need it, we all have the same weird sense of humor and we like a lot of the same music...

Today I was playing with my phone playing different possible ringtones for one of the life guards and I picked a clip of "Don't Stop Believin" and the three of us threw our hands in the air and started chair dancing like it was a normal everyday occurrence for us... Well, needless to say the LG started cracking up saying how in sync we were with each other and I think that best describes our team...

There is no animosity only encouragement for each other...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Day 549...Year 2

I love the daily showers we are experiencing but I don't like the cerebral effects I am experiencing... Head ache two days in a row... :(

And thus, naps three times so far this week... It's not that I don't enjoy them its just the weird dreams that are accompanying them... You are probably like, wow, dreams during a nap? Well my naps aren't just a 20 minute snooze... I have always been a long napper... So because of these super naps I have been having these vignette dreams...

Something else I have noticed is that I am having much more vivid dreams at night... For awhile I wasn't dreaming at all and I was told it was probably due to the extra happiness I take on top of the old happiness... So I don't know what is different...

Well, I guess that is all I have to ponder for today... My dreams are calling...
Musicsongbird

Monday, July 1, 2013

Day 548...Year 2

I am an extremely passionate person when it comes to something I truly believe in and as a COT I believe good training is the building block to success for a new cast member / employee wherever you work...

I realize things don't always go according to plan but we should still try and set those people up for success...  Throwing them into a location they have never worked in or been trained in doesn't make them a stronger worker... Most of the time they get so over whelmed that they really don't learn anything and it doessn't benefit them or the location they are working in...

I also need to remind myself that I can't control everything and I need to keep myself in check... Things happen and not everyone see things the same way and unfortunately there are times when others are going to think about the operational need instead of the individuals need...

So next time I get wound up I will stop, take a deep breath and let it go and not take it home with me...
Musicsongbird