Thursday, January 10, 2013

Day 376...Year 2

Sometimes choosing to forgive someone for something they never apologized for is the hardest thing we can do... As I am going through this healing process I have had so many emotions and most of them have been directed at myself... But last week, my emotions were finally directed towards the one that did all of the damage and as hard as it is, knowing full well that I will NEVER get an apology from him... I had to forgive him... The only way I can get through my healing is by forgiving the one that did the damage and knowing I will never allow someone to hurt me like that again...

I was talking to Mom on the way home from the Pin Doc today, about when I was younger and how I never made it through a slumber party until I was in the 6th grade, I think... I would get to the point in the sleep over where we were getting ready for bed and then I would start to get upset and they would have to call my house and have someone come up the street to get me... We never understood why until now... It wasn't that I was afraid of the dark or of my friends, but rather what could happen to me in the dark, even though I was safe...

The hardest thing about healing, is letting go... Letting go of the hurt, the pain, the fear and the humiliation... I am ready to move forward, a happy and healthier me, both mentally and physically...

Love, peace and learning to let go...
Musicsongbird


Foolish heart looks like we're here againSame old game of plastic smile don't let anybody inHiding my heartache, will this glass house breakHow much will they take before I'm emptyDo I let it show, does anybody know?
But you see the real me hiding in my skin, broken from withinUnveil me completely I'm loosening my graspThere's no need to mask my frailty'Cause you see the real me
Painted on, life is behind a maskSelf-inflicted circus clown I'm tired of the song and danceLiving a charade, always on paradeWhat a mess I've made of my existenceBut you love me even now and still I see somehow
But you see the real me hiding in my skin, broken from withinUnveil me completely I'm loosening my graspThere's no need to mask my frailty'Cause you see the real me
Wonderful, beautiful is what you seeWhen you look at meYou're turning the tattered fabric of my life intoA perfect tapestry I just wanna be me
But you see the real me hiding in my skin, broken from withinUnveil me completely I'm loosening my graspThere's no need to mask my frailty'Cause you see the real me and you love me just as I amWonderful, beautiful is what you see when you look at me
-Natalie Grant