Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 a Year to remember...

So many things have happened over this past year, some good and some really good... Some things I wrote about and some I shouted from the roof tops...

Some of my favorites included Celebrating my Mom's 70th Birthday extravaganza... My bestie's baby sister's wedding... Getting my 2nd TA and then getting statused...

Some things I didn't talk about like I think maybe I should, like getting squished for the first time... Last month I decided that now that I am 40, I needed to take a step in honor of my cousin Jana and my Core Sister and get my first ever mammogram... Was I nervous? Yes... Had I heard it was painful? Yes... But I knew what I had to do to make sure my breasts were healthy...

For those of you that have no idea what an exam is like. You put on a dressing gown and other than that gown you are unclothed from the waist up... There is this huge machine you stand in front of and it has two panels. The technician places one of your breasts on the plate and adjusts it so that when she brings the other plate down she will be able to get a good picture of it... Now as you are waiting for these steps to happen you look at the bottom plate and notice that there are lines that are numbered on the plate. I think mine went to like 7... It weird, because I know I have a large chest, but when your boob is laying there on this plate, it truly puts into perspective just how big or small they truly are... Mine were not small... Mine were enormous... Like huge...

After a total number of 9 photos my flattened boobs were ready to be scrapped off of the glass and put back into their protective sling... In all honesty, it wasn't that bad... I can see however, that if i were smaller it would probably really hurt and not be annoying like it was...

Well, my eyes are quickly dropping and I must bid this year an adios... It has been a great year and I look forward to seeing what the new year hold...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, December 12, 2013

which way...

I feel like I am slipping again... Back into the things that I have moved forward from... Some of the past hurts and maybe it isn't that I have slipped back but rather I haven't really worked through them... It's incredible the insight you gain at midnight after watching a Lifetime Christmas Movie...

I know people aren't perfect but sometimes they don't think before they speak and it ends up hurting without intention... Of course depending on your frame of mind the hurt can just graze the surface, where it doesn't need more than a band-aid to make it feel better and then there are times where it can feel like you have a gaping wound...

Do you just act like it never happened and move forward or do you confront the person, which could possibly cause even more pain and hurt...

So you don't say anything and instead of letting it go you let it replay over and over in your mind and that little boo-boo covered with a band-aid gets infected because all you did was cover it and hoped it would go away...

Or you say something and instead of an apology the person turns it back on you and treats it like it's your fault you felt that way and you need to get over it, making that huge wound even larger and deeper, which can make it so much harder to heal...

Then of course there is always the chance that the person never intended to come across that way and they are genuinely sorry and they feel bad that they caused you to feel that way, and with that the wound begins to heal...

So which scenario do you follow...

musicsongbird

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Getting caught up...

My Holiday Bucket List:
Write and mail a letter to Santa...
Have an Advent Calendar (preferably from Germany)
Go and have my picture taken with Santa Claus
String Popcorn (I've never done it)
Go see the Christmas Lights at Fort Wilderness
See the Candle Light Procession
See it Snoap in Celebration
See the Castle Lighting (haven't seen it in a few years)
See the Osbourne Family Christmas Lights
Make handmade Christmas cards
Not skip over Thanksgiving decorating (Yes, there is a holiday between Halloween and Christmas)
Be thankful...

Well, things are rolling along smoothly with my Holiday Bucket list... A few more of the little gems should be coming off by weeks end...

This has been a very different kick off to the Holiday season... Usually by the first we have all of our house decorated but sadly things have been chaotic and I haven't gotten much accomplished on the interior while Mom is just rolling along with the exterior...

I want to decorate, but because we have so many issues with the cats, I just don't know if I want to put the tree up this year...

I guess I have 23 days to decide...

So the picture is of the Advent calendars I purchased in the Germany pavilion...

When I was little my Dad's brother was stationed in Germany and he would send me special gifts, usually beautiful dolls from different places... He would also send me an Advent calendar with the most yummy chocolates... So this year I decided I would start reliving that childhood memory and I got one for Mom and one for me... We will wait and have our chocolate together each day...

I don't know if it's because I am older, but the chocolates seem a whole lot smaller than what they were when I was younger... Yes, they are smaller than a Kiss... But they are full of flavor...

So now it is time to say goodnight...
Musicsongbird

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

Everyone speaks about being thankful today because it's Thanksgiving, but we need to be giving thanks EVERY day... Not just because of a holiday... It's kind of like Valentine's day... When people make a huge deal out of telling someone you love them...  If you wait to do these things to long you can miss out on letting someone know how much they mean to you...

musicsongbird

Monday, November 25, 2013

Day 695...Year 2

I am thankful for my imagination... It makes me sad that so many adults I know have a hard time using their imagination as adults... Life is so much better seeing the magic in the small things... To hold onto the wonder of things...

With that being said, I don't know if I will be continuing blogging daily... I am not looking for people to say nice things and I'm not looking for a reaction at all... I just feel like some days I am just racking my brain to figure out something to write and I just don't feel like I am benefiting from it... It isn't therapeutic for me if I am not feeling something when I write...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Day 694...Year 2

I am thankful for Hot Cocoa and Pillsbury Orange Cinnamon Rolls... It's the simple things in life that can bring happiness...


Saturday, November 23, 2013

Day 693...Year 2

I am thankful for the Memories I have of my Dad... How sometimes I am busy doing something and a song will play or someone will say something and it brings a smile to my face because it brings Dad close to me again...

Musicsongbird

Friday, November 22, 2013

Day 692...Year 2

I am so thankful for days off... After working 10 days straight, I was off today and thankfully so because the wicked Migraine monster struck again...

Now my body just feels tired...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Day 691...Year 2

I'm thankful for my beautiful fur babies... They are so sweet and loving, even if they have potty issues... They are so smart and they love Mom and I as much as we love them...

Today was our Team Thanksgiving and it was so nice for everyone to come together and share special holiday treats and laughter... The craziest thing we had today was, and I am NOT kidding, possum in coon fat gravy... At first I was leery because all kinds of craziness went through my head, but when I tasted it I couldn't believe how good it was... It just goes to show you how can miss out on things in life when you don't take a chance...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Day 690...Year 2

I am thankful for the quiet of evening... I love being able to sit and pray, or write, or dream... To just listen to the world happen around me... There is such Peace and Freedom when you just sit in the stillness and quiet... When you take the time to let the worries of the day just wash away into the night...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Day 689...Year 2

I am thankful that I have the ability to laugh at myself and not take myself to seriously...

Some people go through life being so serious and being so critical of themselves and others that they miss out on the joys of life...

We only get one go around in this life and it doesn't do any good to be miserable...

Misery comes in so many forms...

Being hypercritical of others, you know the one that is giving unsolicited advice where you claim to be an expert yet you don't follow your own expertise, than you have your own form of misery... You feel the need to self inflate your own importance...

Making excuses and taking the blame on yourself for someone else's indiscretions or mistakes... Punishing yourself for these things that you did not do because you don't feel like you are worth more than that... Guess what... You are...

Don't let someone else steal your happiness...

Musicsongbird

Monday, November 18, 2013

Day 688...Year 2

I am thankful that God puts me in the place where I need to be even if I don't realize I need to be there...

I believe God puts us where He wants us, when He wants us there... They are kind of like divine appointments or I call them God spots... He puts me there when someone needs to talk or needs a shoulder or needs someone to cheer them on or congratulate them...

He knows when someone is going to need someone next to them and he puts me there...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Day 687...Year 2

I am thankful for the Hallmark Channel and cheesy Christmas Romances... They make my heart melt...

Thanksgiving Decorating at Work! DONE!!!

I am trying to keep my co-workers from Decorating as long as I can, or at least until Thanksgiving itself...

This is my safety board I did for work...

When I was younger I thought I wanted to be a teacher... So I guess in reality, I really always wanted to decorate bulletin boards...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Day 686...Year 2

Tonight was rough... I have this horrible habit of wanting to eat all night... It's not that I am hungry... I think it's my way of swallowing my emotions... If I sit and munch I don't have to focus on the emotions I am experiencing... Tonight was no exception having the urge to get up and go grab something, anything out of the fridge... But tonight I didn't...

I focused on something else and now that it is time for bed... I am ready... It's not going to happen over night but the fact is... it will happen... I will succeed...

I am thankful for strong will...

Musicsongbird



Friday, November 15, 2013

Day 685...Year 2

I am thankful for two fantastic Brothers... I love them both very much...

Some days you just need time with a good friend and some yummy food... From laughter to tears and back to uncontrollable laughter a good friend is an amazing thing to have...

Musicsongbird

oh! BFF... I found Cricket ;)

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Day 684...Year 2

I am thankful for my Health Insurance and the life care benefits we are offered at work... Not only is our insurance a good value the Life care benefits that are open to all employees are there to help with all over health... Without them I probably wouldn't feel the way I do today... Mentally healthier and happier...

Now I am not going to say I am 100%, but I am much closer than I have ever been because I have faced the trauma's of my childhood and realized that I am not a victim but a survivor...

With that being said, that doesn't mean I have completed all of my battles, but the biggest one has been faced and called for what it was... NOT MY FAULT!!!

As I continue my journey I am realizing little things a long the way... This past weekend I realized that I am more like my Mom than I have ever admitted and I don't mind... She may not see it but we both have infectious smiles and giggles... When we are hurt emotionally, we hurt deep... We are passionate about the people we care about and the causes that matter the most to us... Everyone sees her as quiet and reclusive but in many ways I see myself this way... Now people that know me are probably saying NO WAY! But I realized something this past weekend... It doesn't take much for me to feel like I am out of place, that I start to doubt I should be somewhere, even if I were invited... But I cover it up by being over the top... I laugh and joke and in some instances dance like a crazy person or make jokes to cover my lack of comfort with the situation...

When you are with a group of friends that are all talking about certain topics and you give an over the top response doesn't mean you are an expert or have even been in that situation, it just means you are believable...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Day 683...Year 2

I am thankful that I have a boss that allows me the time to talk when needed and is a great encourager and supporter...

I did something crazy tonight that I never thought I would do... I volunteered to be on a committee with our Home Owners Association... I have been going to the meeting with Mom for over a year and they are usually a lot of complaining about what isn't going right in the park and that there aren't enough members and so on and so forth... Well tonight when they asked for a committee to help with ballot counting for the upcoming board election I volunteered... I guess I have just gotten to the point where I realized that the only way things are going to change where we live is if I am a part of that change...

I would have to say the average age of our HOA board is 65... The same goes for the membership that come to the meetings... The problem is that the people that are moving into the Park are younger and may not relate to the older members coming and asking them to join HOA... I know they all mean well but I think their approach is way off and hopefully with my taking this step I can help move them in the right direction...

When i first started to write tonight, I was going to say how I have this weird feeling inside right now, but I think what I am feeling is confidence in myself and realizing that my words hold value... Sometime I don't always feel that way but they do... And if I can stand up and do this, I may be able to do other things that I have lacked the self confidence to do...

Most people that know me would be like, No self confidence?? Really?? But most of my outward displays are just displays... When I act crazy it's usually a character or personality...  I'm not talking Sybil crazy personality but just that part of me I turn into when I am nervous or scared... The overly confident part of me...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Day 682...Year 2

I am thankful for the freedom I have found from my past... I am still healing but I am so much happier...

It is time...

Time to make some REAL changes... I am tired of talking and not doing... I have made my Christmas Bucket and it's crazy that I am making a genuine effort to fulfill all of those items on the list, but when it comes to my health... Well, it's just the same old same old...

I want to say something about this though, I live pretty much out loud on Blogger but I think, while I appreciate the concern but this isn't something you can do for me...  If I have questions on how you have fought your battle, I will ask, but please don't try and tell me how to fight my battle...

Fight on...

Musicsongbird

Monday, November 11, 2013

Day 681...Year 2

I am thankful for my home... It may not be a mansion but it is a place that I feel safe in a place I want to be and it is open and inviting to my family and friends...

Weddings are always a great time of celebration and love... It is just so incredible to be special enough to that couple to be asked to be a part of the day... 

My most incredible things I have ever seen at a wedding happened this weekend... I saw the sand ceremony in lieu of a unity candle... There was a very special Mother daughter moment during the ceremony as well and then my most favorite part of the whole celebration was at the conclusion of the reception... The DJ brought the newlyweds to the center of the dance floor and had the remaining guests all circle around them holding hands as the song, "Don't Stop Believing," played... 

These few simple things made it just that much more special...

Musicsongbird 

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Day 680...Year 2

I am thankful for my borrowed family...and tacos ;) Today was so incredible watching two families become one... I am honored and blessed to been given the opportunity to be a part out it... I love how everyone makes Mom and I feel like we are at home... The hugs and love are in abundance from the family we see relatively often and the family we see at these special times together... I am truly blessed... Musicsongbird

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Day 679...Year 2

I am thankful for being reunited with old friends...

This is such a whirlwind weekend... I have to admit it is nice to get to relax while waiting to attend my borrowed sister's wedding tomorrow...To have the opportunity to see new places and share them with my Mom... I am sad that we aren't getting to spend more time with BFF, but he's a part of the wedding party and it is HIS baby sister getting married so it's OK, plus he promised me at least one dance at the reception...

So.... Bucket List update!!!

My Holiday Bucket List:
Write and mail a letter to Santa...
Have an Advent Calendar (preferably from Germany)
Go and have my picture taken with Santa Claus
String Popcorn (I've never done it)
Go see the Christmas Lights at Fort Wilderness
See the Candle Light Procession
See it Snoap in Celebration
See the Castle Lighting (haven't seen it in a few years)
See the Osbourne Family Christmas Lights
Make handmade Christmas cards
Not skip over Thanksgiving decorating (Yes, there is a holiday between Halloween and Christmas)
Be thankful...


Santa and the Mrs. in their off season home...

Musicsongbird

Friday, November 8, 2013

Day 678...Year 2

I am thankful for the special days with my Mom...

I had one of those, I can't believe I live in Florida moments again today... As I gazed out over the gulf and watched the waves roll in, I just felt like everything was right in the world...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Day 677...Year 2

I am thankful for the 24 years I had with my Dad before He went to Heaven...Today Dad would have been turning 74...

In short...

I miss him a lot...
but I know He would be proud of me and my brothers for who we have become...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Day 676...Year 2

I am thankful for the clouds in the sky... Never have a I seen such amazing clouds as I have here in Florida... They truly inspire me and bring peace... My Mom once told me that she heard clouds described as the dust from God's feet... Even the dust from His feet is amazing...






Musicsongbird

(They are all photos I took)

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Day 675...Year 2

I am thankful that I have an infectious laugh...

I love the mornings when I stop at the Security Gate and I am teased by the sweet old guys working the gate... They just make me giggle and laugh and that is an incredible way to begin the day...

I also love the days where laughter is throughout the day... Today there was laughter in our office all afternoon and it just makes it a better more comfortable working environment...

And of course when you spend the evening laughing and spending time with good friends, it's just the icing on the cake...

Musicsongbird

Monday, November 4, 2013

Day 674...Year 2

I am thankful that I have a Mom that can see things in a different way and has mad skills with a hand saw... ;)

Today was so incredibly fun and crazy... I got the opportunity to meet my 6 new Germany Cast Members and 6 of my 7 Norway Cast Members... I told them all from the start that they were my first group since becoming a COT and they were so welcoming and fun... I am really looking forward to seeing how they all grow as cast over the next 12 months... Crazy enough they are with us until my Birthday next year...

Well, it's another early one tomorrow and I am so sleepy...

Sweet dreams,
Musicsongbird

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Day 673...Year 2

I am so thankful I have an amazing job, working for an amazing company....

With that being said, boy did I have a crazy day at the amazing job... I had a total of 6 new cast members from 2 different locations in different stages of their training and their areas are on two different sides of the park... When I took two of the trainees to get costumed and clock out, one of my co-workers watched the others that were still finishing e-learning and sent them over to me at costuming as they were finished... When I finally got down to my one remaining trainee he still had one more online training to complete and it was already 1:30 and I still hadn't eaten... So when another one of my co-workers heard that he took over for me so I had time to eat my lunch before i would need to take my trainee back to costuming... 

Even though I didn't get a ton of work done today, I had to opportunity to get to know 6 wonderful people... I was extremely blessed by one of the gentleman I trained in particular... He is from Haiti and in his country he studied to be a Pastor... He very much wants to learn the English language better so that he can preach in not only his own native tongue, but in French and English... He also told me he would be praying for me and he wants to help me know the bible better... 

It is so sad to know that there are people in the world that get impatient when they come across a person that may not speak the same language as you do but they are making an effort to do so... In my mind, I hope that if the roles were reversed and I was in their country trying to learn and communicate they would be patient with me as well...

 Musicsongbird

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Day 672...Year 2

The countdown to Christmas has officially begun... Hallmark Channel is showing there fantastic Christmas movies all day and night and new Christmas Movies every weekend through Christmas... Some may think they are mushy and predictable but I think I like the fact that there isn't all the sex and bad language; it's just good old happy endings... 

This holiday season I want to really celebrate... Celebrate the time with Friends and Family and give from the heart...

My Holiday Bucket List:
Write and mail a letter to Santa...
Have an Advent Calendar (preferably from Germany)
Go and have my picture taken with Santa Claus
String Popcorn (I've never done it)
Go see the Christmas Lights at Fort Wilderness
See the Candle Light Procession
See it Snoap in Celebration
See the Castle Lighting (haven't seen it in a few years)
See the Osbourne Family Christmas Lights
Make handmade Christmas cards
Not skip over Thanksgiving decorating (Yes, there is a holiday between Halloween and Christmas)
Be thankful...

This is just a small list but there is so much to do and see and I want to make the most of it... So very often things get in the way of enjoying this time of year with our family and friends and I don't want that to happen anymore...

Musicsongbird

For yesterday and Today:
I am so very Thankful for my Mom, my Brothers, BFF, my Sisters-in-love, my nieces and nephews, my borrowed family, all of my extended family and my amazing friends...


Friday, November 1, 2013

Day 671...Year 2

The one thing I regret most about going to the doctor is the weigh in, because I know it will be followed by a lecture... Well, I think good doctors know when the topic of conversation needs to focus on the current issue and not the reacurring one... 

Not only did she not mention the weight she told me that my BP is good and she got down to determining what the cause is for my anemia and migraines... 

Here is to getting healthy from the inside out...

Musicsongbird 

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Day 670...Year 2

Happy Halloween everyone!

I had a great time celebrating at work today and seeing the whopping 11 kids that stopped by tonight... But it was fun to see the itty bittys come through all dressed up...

Then of course the traditional late dinner at Steak n' Shake, a Halloween tradition...

Falling asleep at the keyboard...
Musicsongbird

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Day 669...Year 2

Sometimes the hardest thing for us to do is ask for help... Especially when you are used to taking care of yourself or you think that asking for help makes you look weak or like you have failed in some way... I think it takes more courage to ask for help than it does to have to suffer through avoidable problems...

As someone who has had to ask for help many many many times throughout my life, I know how hard it is to swallow my pride and let others know I am struggling but I believe it makes you more aware when others are in need of help and are afraid to ask, that way I can offer my help to help take some of the akwardness away from them...

Anyway, don't be afraid to ask for help...
Musicsongbird

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Day 668...Year 2

I have some amazing friends as I have said many times over... Today we all came together to celebrate the return of our sweet Sister to work after her Battle with cancer...

It was such an incredible hour this morning to get to see her and see the outpouring of love from everyone...

We laughed and joked and she thanked us all and said the jokes are OK, because it makes recovery easier...

Having been through the cancer battle with my dad, the hardest thing to make someone realize is that it's good to laugh once in awhile... Even though cancer is a very serious disease, laughter truly is the best healer... If you are emotionally healthy you will be less stressed and less stress is always a benefit...

As a friend of mine reminds us all daily at work... Every day is a gift...

Musicsongbird

Monday, October 28, 2013

Day 667...Year 2

At the beginning of the month I told about my amazing cousin that lost her battle with cancer...

Tonight I am telling the story of a friend of mine that is a survivor...

Earlier this year my friend was asked if she wanted full time as a core trainer and at one point it was something she definitely wanted but when the position became available she had changed her mind... She felt like she had other things happening in her life and full time didn't fit into them anymore... Then around August she was approached to be one of the Core trainers for the Food and Wine Festival and as honored as she was to be asked she declined...

Then I received a phone call last month from her telling me the news that she had found a lump and it was cancer... From the time our work family was told until she went on leave was maybe two weeks... She made the decision that since cancer was found in one breast that she would have both of them removed... I have never seen a woman more confident in her decision and secure in herself as I did when she told me...

We as humans focus so much on the body that very often we forget there is a person attached... As women we experience this almost daily because we have breasts... How many have you been talking to someone, usually a guy and they are more focused on the area a few inches lower than your face... Or you go to try on clothes and you have to get a size bigger in the top because the girls just don't want to fit right...

About two years ago there were these rubber bracelets that came out that read I <3 Boobies... I myself have a bumper snicker on my car that exclaims Save the Ta Tas and many Breast Cancer Groups use this slogan as well, but you know what I realized through all of this... As women, we are more than our boobs... That might sound funny but should we be more focused on saving the wife, the daughter, the mother, the sister, the grandmother, the friend before we worry about saving the tissue piled on our chest???

I know that having both breasts removed wouldn't be an easy decision but it can be a life saving choice... I know with all of the struggles I have had due to the size of mine throughout my life, I would probably tell the doctor to do the same and really it will leave me about 20-30 pounds lighter... ;)

So, I am happy to report that after her surgery and return trip to the doctor, my friend does not have to go through chemo or radiation, which means I don't have to shave my head (which I would have gladly done)... And the best thing is she is coming back home (to work) tomorrow...

<3 <3 <3
Musicsongbird

Overcomer - By Mandisa

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Day 666...Year 2

I read this great article tonight about the 10 worst habits for people trying to lose weight and I think I should share them, along with my take on the list...

#10 - Stop calling it a diet...
When we call it a diet you get it in your head that when you have something that isn't a part of your "diet" you have been bad and really the first three letters in Diet are DIE... So STOP calling it a Diet...

#9 - Overhauling your eating habits over night...
The fat didn't get there over night and the bad habits didn't start overnight... Think about it this way: imagine a snowball, it's about the size of a baseball... Now in order to make a snowman you have to start rolling it in the snow... As you roll it, it starts to get bigger because more snow is adding itself to your tiny snowball...And before you know it you have the base of your snowman ready to go...

You need to think of your eating habits in this way too... Start off small... If you drink 2% milk switch to 1% or switch to Almond or Soy Milk... Next start finding ways to incorporate healthier snacks into your diet... Instead of a chocolate granola bar, try an apple with a little peanut butter, or single packet of string cheese and a hard boiled egg...

#8 - Giving up certain foods all together...
Being healthy means being able to incorporate all the food you love, just in moderation... If over indulging is your problem than try portion control... If you are a dessert freak, you can't live without it... Instead of a huge bowl of ice cream, try a small container of fruit yogurt... Or if you love warm cake, try this recipe:

3-2-1 Cake
Take 1 Angel Food Cake Mix (dry) and Mix it with 1 regular cake mix (dry- we love lemon) in a gallon sized zip lock bag... Get them good and mixed together... Then take 3 Tbsp of the dry mix and put it into a microwave safe coffee mug... Stir in 2 Tbsp of water and mix until well blended... Put into Microwave for 1 minute and out will come the perfect piece of cake... Mom and I like to add a dollop of icing... Absolutely delicious!

#7 - Only caring about calories...
When you only focus on calories you end up depriving yourself of the food you need to sustain you throughout the day... Calories count but so does nutrition...

#6 - Focusing on the scale...
Many of us jump on the scale daily and then allow it to dictate how we are the rest of the day... Remember, the average body can fluctuate 1-2 pounds daily... It is actually better to weigh yourself less often... Usually a better determiner of size loss is a tape measure... Sometimes we don't see the number on the scale drop as quickly as we see the inches shed... Try measuring yourself once a month and weighing yourself bi-weekly, so you don't get frustrated when the numbers aren't budging...

#5 - Only dieting and not exercising...
Dieting can only do so much... If you aren't getting up and moving nothing will burn... You can only cut so many calories before you are feeling worse than you do when you first started exercising, except exercising usually makes you feel better in the end... ;)

#4 - Trying to eat as little as possible...
We have all tried it and it may work for awhile but the body has a way of thanking us for this behavior... It gives the weight back and sometimes in bigger numbers...Eating less can actually work against you... It can cause long term problems and it makes it much harder to lose weight and keep it off...

#3 - Giving up to easily...
I had a bad day, I ate out with friends and had two desserts, well I better just forget it because I am never going to lose the weight... We have all told ourselves something like that, but we can't let ourselves off the hook that easily... You have to remember that making new habits takes just as long as breaking old ones... On average it takes about 6 weeks to make or break a habit, so don't let a moment of weakness set you back even further...

#2 - Confusing "healthy" with "low calorie"...
Read labels!!! Manufacturers hire advertisers to use buzz words like "healthy", "Fat Free", Gluten-Free to draw our attention and reel us in... There goal is to get we the consumer to buy there product... Just because it's low fat doesn't mean it's low calorie AND healthy for you... Learn to read label on everything... Many ready made meals are actually way higher in fat, cholesterol and sodium then the same meal you can make at home...

#1 - Unrealistic Expectations...
It is great to set goals for ourselves but we need to set up two different ones... The first being long term... An example would be that I would like to lose 100 pounds by October 24, 2014... An attainable goal if you figure that I could lose 1-2 pounds per week over the next 52 weeks...

The second is short term goals... This could be that I want to lose 10 pounds by Thanksgiving... Now when Thanksgiving comes around and I have only lost 2 pounds am I going to get mad at myself and eat an entire pumpkin pie??? No, I just need to set myself another short term goal and review what I could have done better or what habit did I find myself falling back into that I didn't lose the weight??? Or ask myself what happened over the course of the last month that prevented me from attaining my goal???


I think the best thing I can think of when breaking bad habits is turn them into good ones... I am still learning this but we all learning at different paces... ;)

Musicsongbird

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Day 665...Year 2

My birthday weekend has come to an end and I have to say this was a great month... Going to dinner and taking the road trip was nice but the memories made and the great conversations had is what made it so memorable...

As I have said a bunch of times before, I am so excited to see what is to come in this year... What celebrations I will be a part of and adventures I will have...

Here is to another year!
Musicsongbird

Friday, October 25, 2013

Day 664...Year 2

I survived it and lived to tell about it... And you know what? 40 really doesn't feel any different from 39... However, it does make you think about getting older... I know every birthday we get older it's just that milestone birthdays really make you reflect on what you have done and what you still would like to accomplish...

Last week a very special friend called and left me an incredible message really just encouraging me to look beyond the outside appearance and help me to remember that your true beauty shines from within... You can have the most beautiful person in the world and if they have a horrible outlook on life and the world around then and they are never happy than their outer self will begin to match their inner self... I know many people like me and that I have an infectious laugh and smile, as I was told by this friend as well as BFF, and I need to remember that when I start to get down on myself about my current size (28)...

With all of that being said, my #1 item on my to do list for this, my 40th year is to get healthier... To make smarter eating choices and to eat smaller portions... I also want to start exercising but it is going to take perseverance on my own part... I can have Mom or BFF constantly telling me I need to exercise, but I have to be the one to motivate me...

So, now that the celebrating is over it is time to focus on the task at hand and get healthy...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Day 663...Year 2

It's fabulous being 40!

I had a super fun birthday with Mom and BFF... We had a quick breakfast at Wawa and then we hit the road for Sarasota!

There wasn't a total plan in place but I did have some specific food requests for the day... Normally I have things planned out for the entire trip but this time it was lets visit the food places as planned for lunch and dinner but lets just see where the day takes us for the rest...

I think I spend too much time planning every second that I need to learn to let go and go with the flow...

I am working on an updated bucket list so more to come, but for now this old lady is off to dreamland...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Day 662...Year 2

My last Blog...

As a 30 Something... When I wake up in the morning I will be entering the next decade of my life... It's funny when I tell people that I am turning 40, because I get one of two reactions...

1st Reaction:
NO WAY!!!!
You can't be that old.
You're lying... (yes because I would say I am older than I am)

And my favorite:
Don't take offense, but I thought you were in  your late 20's... (Really? You think that telling me I look at least 10 years younger than I am is offensive???)

2nd Reaction:
Oh turning 40 isn't bad. 30 was fine, 40 was fine, but at 50 you are like, I BETTER MAKE A LIST!

So, I have been thinking for the past week for the best memory that I have had in my 30's and there have been so many but as of recent the best most happiest memory I have is my Mom retiring and moving down to live with me... It isn't always easy because life living with your adult child can't be all of the time, but I wouldn't change this time for anything... I believe Mom and I have grown so much here both individually and together... I love you Mom... Thank you Big Brothers for letting me have this life with Mom...

Without Mom and BFF I don't know how I could make it... It is so nice that we are all here for each other through good times and bad, happy and sad, through sickness and health...

BFF, thank you for getting me through some of the hardest times of my 30's and Mom, thank you for giving me life 40 years ago...

I am thrilled to see what this next year will bring and what the next decade will be like...

Here I go...
Musicsongbird

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Day 661...Year 2

I am loving that I am turning 40... I have loved being in my 30's but 40 just seems like a new adventure...

Tonight I went to trivia night with some of my friends and it was a blast... Our team name was Oh No! Guess who's 4-0! And about half way through the contest the trivia guy came over to our table to see who's Birthday it was... When he returned to his table he had everyone in the bar raise their glasses and do a group toast for me, wishing me a happy 40th Birthday! Then a guy from one of the other teams came over and told me I do NOT look 40, he thought I was in my late 20's... I just wanted to give him a big old kiss, but I settled for a picture together...

We didn't come in first, but we did come in 4th but it was out of 8 teams, so I think we did pretty good... :)

To my friends that couldn't make it tonight, I missed you a lot but we will schedule another one so we can all be together... And come in 1st place this time!!!

I have made some incredible friends in the last few years and been reunited with some old ones as well and it is just great... What I love about this group of friends is that you may have just seen them an hour ago at work, but the minute you are back together again there are hugs all around and laughs and giggles and it just feels like everything is right in the world... Like you are home...

Great Friends are the family you get to chose...
Musicsongbird

Monday, October 21, 2013

Day 660...Year 2

I think one of the coolest things I have had the opportunity to do in the past 10 years was step into a recording studio to record my own album... In 1998 I graduated from Webster University with a degree in Music... I have sang in church for years and it's something I love very much... Anyone that knows me well knows how much I love singing, especially music by Sandi Patty...

When I decided to move to Florida, Mom decided that I couldn't move without recording a CD... So I found a recording studio that was reasonably priced and scheduled my session... I didn't quite know what to expect when I walked in but at the same time, it was everything I thought it would be and more...

The engineer took me to one of the studios and had me sit on this incredible leather couch while he prepared my accompaniment CDs that I had brought with me... He also offered me bottled water... Once he was ready he took me into the sound booth and explained how everything worked... He showed me how the headphones worked and that he would speak to me through them and I would answer in the microphone... Pretty simple stuff... He went on to explain that he would start the music and I just needed to sing and he would adjust the levels to get a good mix and then if I felt comfortable we would go ahead and record...

After two separate sessions I created my own album titled, "Behold Him", which includes 12 Contemporary Christian Songs... I sold to people at my church and friends and family...

I would love to have the chance to record again and only time will tell, but I cherish the memory of living out another one of my dreams...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Day 659...Year 2

If you would have told me 10 years ago that my middle Brother and one of my best girlfriends were going to be married to each other, I probably would have laughed in your face... But three years ago, my sister by choice became my sister-in-love...

Back when she was living in another city years ago she asked me if I thought she should move back home to the STL... Of course missing her terribly I thought it would be great and it would also give her piece of mind since she is an only child and she could be closer to her parents... Upon moving back she found a condo and being a fantastic friend I offered to clean the worst rooms in the house...The bathrooms... I also volunteered my brother to help with some carpentry type projects around the place as well... (But I am sure he will say he offered to help)  They struck up a friendship and my sister-in-love will attest the fact that it was JUST a FRIENDSHIP, nothing else and of course I believe her because she is a terrible liar...

As the next few years past her and I got matching tattoos, purple and yellow butterflies, mine on the inside of my right ankle and hers on her shoulder blade... 

Well, when I moved to Florida we still kept in touch and she visited a few times... The last time she came alone was in like January 2009 and BFF, her and I went out for drinks at House of Blues and we were having a good old time... Trying to be funny, BFF taunted me about a possible relationship between my brother and Sister-in-love, which if course she vehemently denied and again I believed her because she is a terrible liar and secret keeper...The rest of the trip was fun and it was exciting because my middle brother was coming two weeks later to finally move all of my stuff down from the STL...

This is when I should have known something was rotten in the state of Denmark... The whole time my brother was visiting he kept commenting on how fun it would be to visit Disney with my now Sister-in-love... Mind you he has two kids, that at the time had never been to WDW and I made a point of questioning that... He would kind of blow it off but the real tell was the fact that he wanted to buy her a gift... Not one for his kids but one for her... (insert eye roll and gagging face)

About a week after he went home I got a phone call from both of them... together... They were officially dating... True to my Sis-in-loves word they weren't together at all when she was visiting but when she got back home, her mind started to change and by the time my brother arrived they were both smitten... In fact, he was so smitten that he drove almost an hour in the opposite direction of Florida when he was driving down my stuff...

Disney is truly a place where dreams come true...
Musicsongbird

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Day 658...Year 2

Probably one of the biggest things to happen to me in the last decade is getting to the root of my emotional history and getting medical assistance for my depression... For so many years there was a certain stigma attached to people that suffered from depression... That it wasn't real, that they weren't finding their true happiness and they just needed to snap out of it...

In my mind I knew if I admitted that I was depressed than they would expect me to go through therapy and they would dope me up until I couldn't feel anything... Well that wasn't true...

BFF helped me realize I needed to talk to my doctor because honestly, I just wasn't happy... At work no one could tell that on the inside I was miserable... I was still the laughing, crazy, magical me that everyone expected... However, when I was home I was sad and depressed... BFF put up with a lot, he was an amazing support... When I finally went on Meds I didn't tell anyone for awhile... Not ever BFF, because I didn't want to admit I had a problem, plus I wanted to see if they truly worked... When I finally started sharing my experience with others I was shocked to hear that I wasn't alone...

With all of the positive feedback I received from Friends I decided it was time to sit down and talk to someone about all of the pain I was carrying inside... After over a year of therapy I was feeling a million times better... Many things were discovered and I learned a lot, things I still use now when having to deal with difficult situations...

However, I know my journey isn't complete... I still have healing to do, but these were giant steps in the right direction to find that healing I need...

Musicsongbird

Friday, October 18, 2013

Day 657...Year 2

Well... Some may look at the glass in my hands and see it as a cool and refreshing glass of water... I look at it for what it is... A $7 glass of Japanese Sake...

This was one of the items on my bucket list... To try Sake...

This was my first and last glass of Sake... Mom and I both partook of the liquid madness... Mom said it best after she tried it and then decided it tastes just like rubbing alcohol...

Other items still on my list is to fly in a helicopter, ride in a hot air balloon, get a professional facial, go Skinny Dipping, have a souffle, get another tattoo and so on...

Something huge I did that was on my list in the past 10 years was living out my Disney dream... Packing up all of my earthly possessions and moving here to Florida to work for the most Magical Company on Earth...

Cheers...
Musicsongbird

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Day 656...Year 2

Well, the verdict is in... I am feeling like ME again!!!!

I received a sweet and meaningful text from my BGF in St. Louis today... It said this:

Happy Last week in your 30s!!!!!!!!

Yes, I am spending my last week as a 30 something and I think I want to reminisce about my life over the past 10 years...

For my 30th Birthday, Mom and I took an amazing trip with my Uncle, my Dad's baby brother, first to our nation's capital... We stayed in Virginia on a military base, which was really cool... While visiting Washington DC we visited all of the landmarks including a trip up into The Washington Monument... We were also able to go into the viewing areas above congress but much like now, nothing was really going on... ;)

We visited Arlington Cemetery and saw the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier... Along with the Memorials at night... Just an amazing trip in itself...

Following DC, we drove to New Jersey and met up with my Aunt and Cousin and spent a few days taking the subway across to NYC and seeing the sites... I love the theater and so we were able to see my first Broadway Show on Broadway!!! "Thoroughly Modern Millie," starring Tony Award winner Sutton Foster... It was so incredible and I hope to return again some day...

On my actual birthday we drove and stopped off in Philadelphia where I was able to see the Liberty Bell and have an authentic Philly Cheese Steak!

Upon returning to St. Louis my two best girl friends took me to the Royal Dump Theater where I danced on stage with other Birthday celebrants wearing my crown and my feather boa...

I would say it was an incredible way to celebrate the end of my 20's and the beginning of my 30's...

And what a decade it turned out to be...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Day 655...Year 2

After a return to work, which I don't know was good for me or not, I came home to take an hour long nap and I am finally starting to feel like me again... :)

Sometimes getting back to your regular day to day activities is just what the doctor ordered...

So thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...

Back to my regularly scheduled life...
Musicsongbird

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Day 654...Year 2

I hate waking up feeling sick... When I went to get up this morning the whole world spun out of control... I thought if I slept a little things would get better, but when it came down to having to get up and get ready, it just wasn't happening... So back to bed and more sleep... The dizziness has gotten better but I am still not sure how I am feeling...

There is nothing worse than not knowing what's going on in your body... If I feel like this tomorrow, it will be time to call the doctor...

prayers please...
Musicsongbird

Monday, October 14, 2013

Day 653...Year 2

To my dear friend that called and left me the voice mail today... Thank you... You said I probably get a bunch of support, but not like the beautiful words you said to me... The moment you said them, tears jumped to my eyes and my heart overflowed...I didn't doubt your words once... I saved your message and have already listened to it like 4 times and it brings me to tears every time and I believe it for myself a little more each time...


If you can't think of any friends that live up to that last statement... Then maybe you haven't found true friends...

Thanks for making me see what you see Friend...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Day 652...Year 2

I saw this and it totally made me laugh, because this is how I feel when I over indulge... Like the fat cat stuck with my head in the cookie box...

I have fallen of the proverbial wagon so many times that they have an assigned seat for me on the edge, so it's more like a jump off than a fall...

I don't even know if I think of it as falling so much as it is giving up...

There is no easy fix... There is no one size fits all, if there was than we would all be as skinny as Heidi and Naomi and all of the other fashionistas of the world... I wish it could be as easy Alice, eat this it will make you smaller, drink this it will make you bigger... My friends and I used to imagine a product called ultra super slim fast, where with one drink you are picking your pants up off the floor because it made you instantly thin...

But we never thought about the fact that we didn't eat a Big Mac one day and go from a size 8 to a 28... It took a lot of Big Macs and Whoppers and cookies and cakes and tacos and candy bars...

Now after all these years of trying, I still don't have the magic pill or drink... I just need some determination and better will power... It's not that I need support, because I have it for the asking, I need to believe in myself, that I am worth the effort... 100 people can tell you, that you are worth it, but it only matters when you believe it for yourself...

do you believe???
Musicsongbird

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Day 651...Year 2

A day of much needed rest... Waking to another migraine is no fun... After running two needed errands it was back to bed for much needed rest...

Listen to your body...
Musicsongbird

Friday, October 11, 2013

Day 650...Year 2

I have an amazing best friend and Mom... My Birthday Month surprises continued this morning... While we were at breakfast at Wawa this morning, I was prompted to look at my My Magic Plus app on my phone to see what the day had planned for me... To my surprise it showed dinner Reservations at Shutters, a restaurant at the Caribbean Beach Resort at Disney...

I wouldn't have ever thought about going the, probably because when BFF and I started taking vacas to WDW we stayed at the Caribbean twice and the menu was different and i wasn't such an adventurous eater like I am now...

But I can officially say after eating there that it was absolutely delicious and I would most definitely go again...

The sweetest part of the entire evening is when BFF explained why he chose it... He said that because we had stayed at the resort a couple of times and we had eaten at the Shutters at the Vero Beach Resort, he wanted us to be able to reminisce about those past trips and try something new together... It's so amazing that he put so much thought into choosing the restaurant...

I am truly blessed...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Day 649...Year 2 #RememberingCory


Tonight the TV show Glee memorialized Finn Hudson, who had been played by actor Cory Montieth, until his death this summer...

I was a beautiful tribute to the character of Finn... The music was incredibly heart wrenching and I'm sure I am not alone when I say that I cried from the moment Mercedes' music began until the screen went to black at the end of the episode...

I admire the writers of Glee for how they handled his passing, by not putting a name to it's cause; despite everyone knowing the actual cause of Cory's death... I know the cast were following their scripts, but I believe their emotions were true...

The one thing I wish they would have played was a montage of Finn's character, perhaps with "Don't Stop Believing" as the background music... That was the song that started it all for the show and I believe it is the one everyone that is a fan remembers the most...

This show allowed us as fans, a true opportunity to mourn Cory's passing and a chance to say goodbye to Finn...

The PSA at the end was very respectful and a wonderful way to reach out to possible viewers that may be suffering just like Cory... I pray that those individuals seek help and finally get freedom from their addictions...

Remembering Cory

Find Treatment

As tonight's episode showed, we all grieve differently, but remembering, honoring and celebrating your loved ones life, helps you to live yours... Don't let someone else's death stop you from living... They wouldn't want that for you...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Day 648...Year 2

Why is it that when a young star does something inappropriate by most people's standards, others make excuses for them like, oh they are growing up or it's kids these days...  Maybe I'm a prude or getting old, but I just don't understand why these 20 somethings think they need to suddenly show their "maturity" by acting like idiots... My favorite is when even their parents "support" them via social networks... If I had acted like some of these "celebri-tots" do when I was their age, my parents would not have jumped to applaud me for being an "individual" or my "talent." 

If you are truly talented, why all the gimmicks? Why do they need to act like a thug, or stripped down to nothing but a smile to prove they are talented? If you are truly something special, let your talent speak for you... That's why I love Contemporary Christian artists... Yes I enjoy the worshipful music but I love the modesty, letting the music and the words of the songs speak to me... I enjoy pop music too... I love singers like Alicia Keys and Adele... They don't have to go to extremes to impress people to listen to their music... 

I was alive before MTV, I know what it was like to hear a song on the radio and then buy the record and later the cassette tape... I didn't need publicity stunts to get me to enjoy a performer... 

It's funny, we were watching The X Factor tonight and there was this girl group that was made up of two 13 year old and a 12 year old, and they performed a Pop song and the performance really reminded me of Destiny's Child... In the end Simon wasn't sure if he was going to keep them and he said he wasn't going to base his decision on the flashy and not very strong performance from tonight, but base it on their first audition, which was of the National Anthem done a Capella.... No extras just a pure vocal performance that received a standing ovation...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Day 647...Year 2

I had a great day meeting 4 new cast for my locations... I was able to pick them up from their Park tour and take them to their locations so they could meet the chef, since they are culinary... It was nice because listening to the chef talk to them at their first meeting I am not only learning more about my new cast member, but I am also learning more about the processes my culinary cast go through each day...

I have watched Hell's Kitchen for many seasons and short of the language that is bleeped, the respect for the Chef is real... My cast were yes Chef and no Chef... It was very much like the military... When you address a senior ranking official it isn't, "Hey Bob, what's up?" "It's good morning, Sir or Good morning  Colonel..."
It's just so very different...

And it's a part of my new home...
Musicsongbird

Do you think people are afraid to bring treats for the Chef???

Monday, October 7, 2013

Day 646...Year 2

There is nothing more beautiful then a blank page... It holds such promise... A blank page can be turned into anything from an amazing work of art, to a literary adventure, prose of a poet, music to a symphony, a child's drawing, a love letter...

A blank page is kind of like your life... When you are born everyone around you thinks of amazing ways to fill your blank pages, but in the end you are the author... What is amazing is that even though the stories can take many avenues, different twists and turns... An incredible cast of characters, some starring and some just fleeting in the background... There can be many chapters, some long and some short, but the story will last a lifetime...

Make your story a best seller...
Musicsongbird

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Day 645...Year 2

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

1 in 8 
Number of women that will be diagnosed with Breast Cancer in their lifetime.

Ranks #2 
-Second leading cause of death among women.

2,150 
Men will be diagnosed (though it's rare.)

410 
Men will die...

220,000 
Women diagnosed in the United States with breast cancer each year.

40,000 
Women will die...

It is scary to know that Breast Cancer is the most common cancer among women worldwide...

The one thing that can fight it is attention...

We need to pay attention to our bodies... We need to do self exams, both men and women... We need to have regular doctors visits... Ladies, if you have a family history or are age 40, you need to have a mammogram every year...

We have lost to many Grandmothers, Mothers, Aunts, Sisters and Friends to this horrible disease...

In my family I lost an amazing cousin... What started out as breast cancer spread throughout her body... She stayed positive through it all and fought until the end... Even though we lived thousands of miles apart, she inspired me with her love of photography and travel... She shared her love of Disney with me, and her love for her family...She taught me what true bravery is... She is my hero... And I know she would be so proud of me living my dream... I miss her...

Don't be a statistic... 

Early detection and treatment is the key to getting these numbers down to 0...

Save the Ta Tas!!!
Musicsongbird

If you want to know more please visit The National Breast Cancer Center (all facts were borrowed from this site)




Saturday, October 5, 2013

Day 644...Year 2

Right now, I don't feel like I really have anything to talk about... No words of wisdom, no cute anecdotes... I just feel like there is time to talk and a time for silence...

Tonight must be one of those silent ones...

So I will leave you with this...


Musicsongbird

Friday, October 4, 2013

Day 643...Year 2

Oh what a great day... It's nice to have a day off and hangout with the BFF...

However, I am excited to be going back to work tomorrow because I am loving my new (old) home and I still haven't had the chance to truly get settled in, so I am hoping I can accomplish some of that tomorrow...

To all of my friends I am asking for prayer... The numbness in my hands is back accompanied by pain in my wrist and thumb joint at times... My pin doctor is treating it but I know God is the great physician and He can do anything...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Day 642...Year 2

I love going to Acupuncture but most of the time I sleep so good when I am being pinned that I have trouble going to sleep at night... Thankfully I don't work tomorrow but I do get to spend time with BFF and Mom...

Since October is my Birthday month and this year is a milestone one, BFF decided to do a mini-version of what we did for Mom, for me... Tonight he bought me dinner and it was so very sweet... He also told me that he had a secret that he was keeping from me... After many doubtful moments, he decided to share his secret...

So apparently a week ago when we were at Tybee, he woke up in the middle of the night to me snoring and he recorded me so that I could hear it later... The next morning he said he felt bad and wasn't going to tell me... Well, a week later he finally did... In my head I had mixed emotions about it, but at no time was I mad about it... And as I have had time to process it, I think it is very sweet to do this for me... Now some of you may be saying, "Sweet? For recording you sleeping? Are you joking?" Well, I know I have a sleeping problem and if I heard it I would better understand what is happening at night to me... My sweet Mom has sleep apnea and has to wear a mask when she sleeps... I also know that she sleeps very well with her machine and she doesn't stop breathing in the middle of the night...That is what scares me about the cacophony that pours from my nose at night...

So, if you still have the recording BFF, I would like to hear how bad at is... Because I think you are right and we probably should both get referrals for sleep tests...

Musicsongbird

it's good to be loved...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Day 641...Year 2


A very sweet friend of mine helped me look into myself with an incredible incite...

She said, "I know you want to loose the weight, and i know it hasn't been an easy journey. You, my dear, need to realize you are worth the time effort and dedication. With all you have done in the past year I've known you I have seen a lot of self growth, but you still have quite a bit of self doubt. Your weight, I feel, is a protective barrier for you. You'll have to loose it the good old fashion way, diet, exercise, and self determination."

This is such a huge truth...For so long I have worried about everyone else and had given up on myself... Well, no more...

I have to matter to me as much as I matter to others...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Day 640...Year 2

I did pretty good today and feel even better tonight...

Weird and a little bit creepy thing happened after work tonight... I was driving to meet up with friends for trivia night and happy hour and bee bopping along to the music on the radio when a Taxi Van pulled up along side of me in traffic... I noticed the guy was looking at me almost like he was trying to get my attention, but I just kept singing along to the music... The traffic started moving again and he pulled in behind me... At the next stop light I noticed he had put his car in park and had jumped out of his van walking towards me... I lowered the window slightly and he pushed his business card at me and said, "call me," and then went back to his van...

At this point I was freaked out and he stopped following me, thankfully or I would have had to keep driving...Maybe he thought I was cute or maybe he thought I could use a cab at some point, but this was just weird...There wasn't anything on his card except his Taxi service information and his name, other than that no explanation... My friends thought it was funny but also very weird... Next time, I won't be rolling the window down, not even an inch...

Just plain weird...
Musicsongbird

Monday, September 30, 2013

Day 639...Year 2

One more time I just want to say Happy Birthday to the best Mom in the world... I have really enjoyed getting to spend the past week with you celebrating you...

Now back to me...

Lol!

A Text I sent earlier today: I ate too much again... :(  I've had it... I am worth so much more than this...

I have hit an all time high and it is making me sick... I don't mean emotionally sick but physically... I am having a horrible time sleeping at night... I am having heartburn (which I have never suffered from)... I have a lack of energy... I am having a hard time fitting into clothes that I just purchased a few months ago and still looking nice...  The numbness is back in my hands and forearms... And the headaches/migraines have been happening more frequently lately...

I can't do this anymore... I deserve better than this...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Day 638...Year 2

Another great day spending time with my Mom... Her 70th Birthday is tomorrow and I love that I have been able to celebrate with her over the course of this last month... This morning at church was especially sweet because she hates when people know it's her birthday and each week the pastor always asks who's birthdays are in the coming week... Well, Mom certainly wasn't going to raise her hand so I did the very adult thing and started pointing over her head to get the pastor' attention... When the pastor announced to the congregation that it was her birthday her reaction was to sweet for words... She had the biggest smile on her face and not a shed of embarrassment was showing...

I love these little moments when I see pure joy in her face... It makes me feel so good to see her so happy...

I am very thankful that Mom decided to retire and move down here with me and I am thankful I get to celebrate her...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, September 28, 2013

Day 637...Year 2

I guess I can mark one more thing off of my bucket list... 

Giving yourself a bloody nose... CHECK!

So of course there is a story to go with this, however I feel like the biggest dork... So this morning I woke up with the onset of  one of my fantastic migraines... So I took allergy meds and drank a bunch of water in the hopes it was just from hunger or the ever changing weather forecast... Mom and I did some running around getting groceries and stuff and upon returning my head wasn't any better...

I then decided it was time to try the netty pot... After flushing out my sinuses I started to feel better, but I figured I should finish it all off with a sinus spray...I sprayed the one nostril and just as I was about to spray the second, my fingers slid off the sides of the bottle and I crammed the sprayer up my nose which caused my first ever honest to goodness nose bleeds...

I quickly grabbed tissues and put my head back and Mom grabbed me an ice pack... Within minutes the bleeding had stopped and my nose was back to normal again... Plus I am breathing much better and my migraine is gone...

Musicsongbird

Friday, September 27, 2013

Day 636...Year 2

What an amazing way to begin my day...

I awoke to the alarm at 6:30 am... I quickly got dressed and headed down to the beach from our hotel room...

It was so quiet and peaceful except for the rolling waves going in and out... I turned on some music on my phone and enjoyed a mini worship session as the sun began it's ascent into the morning sky...



The beach also began to fill as the sun made it's way up... People from all around made their way on to the beach to enjoy the incredible morning...

When I made my way back toward the hotel, I noticed the drier sand, racing it's way across the wet sand, in what reminded me of snow drifts on the road just after a fresh snow...

It was incredible...
Musicsongbird

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Day 635...Year 2

Sometimes things happen that are out of your control and all you can do is know that God has a plan greater than you... I had a moment sitting on the balcony with the waves crashing on the beach and darkness around me... I began to cry... And then the door opened to the balcony and my Mom came out... We talked a bit, I cried a bit and then she reassured me that everything was fine and that we can get through anything together...

This has been an incredible Birthday trip with my Mom and BFF and I realized a lot about me and my little family here in Florida...  This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.

As long as we have each other, that is all that matters...I love them and nothing will change that...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Day 634...Year 2

What a fun day... All diet thoughts were gone, but I don't really think I was that off the path... Breakfast at Wawa and then the revealing of Mom's mystery trip...

Da da da daaaaa!!!!!!!!! Tybee Island!!!!!!!!!!!

She was very excited and happy and we were on our way... The trip was long but quite enjoyable... Bad jokes, bad singing and big laughs...

We are in a Ocean facing room on the top floor (4th) of our resort... It is an amazing view and the sounds of the waves crashing outside is incredible... Just sitting and listening the waves makes a person feel so small...

So excited to see what happens tomorrow...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Day 633...Year 2

I am very excited for tomorrow... Taking Mom on a Birthday adventure... I don't want to give anything away so I will just say this... 

I love my Mom very much and I am so happy she moved down here and that I get the opportunity to spend time with her everyday...

Time to wrap up the preparations for tomorrow!

Musicsongbird

Monday, September 23, 2013

Day 632...Year 2

There is nothing worse than having to buy new bras and going into the fitting room with that floor length mirror so you can watch yourself struggle to get a band of elastic to rotate around your mid section that may or may not be the right size for you and then struggle to get the straps up and afraid you are going to destroy this item of unpurchased clothing before you even get it on...

Then to make matters worse, I am looking at this person in the mirror that is struggling horribly and I feel bad for her and I see how much added weight she is carrying around and then I snap back in reality when I accept that the poor woman is me... All I can think is, how... How did I allow this to happen? How did I let myself get to this point... And I can't think of one thing in response... I have no viable defense for what I have allowed to happen to my body... What I have allowed food to become to me...

I know it didn't happen over night and I think about all of these years that it has taken to get me to this point... But if it takes years to get it off again, I will... I may fall and stumble along the way, but I can't go on the way I am... I have said this so many times it just sounds redundant, but I can't give up...

musicsongbird

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Day 631...Year 2

New / Old work location, but new mindset on how I need to live... How I need to treat myself and my body... I am tired of the struggles and tired of just being tired... I need to make my mind up and not turn back...

The struggle comes into play when things get labeled... It gets harder when people start to notice changes because if you mess up than they are quick to point that out, but not necessarily to your face... Oh no, it would be rude of them to say that you have fallen off the wagon to your face, but they will say it behind your back... I know because I am the pot calling the kettle... And I am ashamed... I have no room to talk to put down someone else's battle... I should be encouraging them not enabling them...

Something I still need to work on and do better at is excepting a compliment when it is given... I still struggle with this... I need to learn to say thank you and not ignore them or blow it off... Sometimes others see things we don't and we should thank them for noticing...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Day 630...Year 2

I hate when I wake up and all I want to do is go back to bed because I am just that tired or my head hurts that badly... That is what happened today... However I had a very important breakfast date with Mom and BFF for part 3 of Mom's 70 th Bday celebration... We ate at the Polynesian and it was delicious...

We also informed Mom that she has 3 days to back her suitcase for a 3 day and 2 night mystery trip... It could be anywhere, but she won't be given any clues as to where it is...

When we returned home I was back to bed for a few hours in hopes that the head pain I was experiencing would subside, however when I awoke it was still there... In fact it didn't go away until almost 7pm tonight...

After a fantastic PartyLite Party combination HouseParty.com party, I'd say over all it was a fantastic day.

Musicsongbird

Friday, September 20, 2013

Day 629...Year 2

Over done... My head is reeling... Over did it at work I think so it's early to bed...

Take care of you...
Musicsongbird

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Day 628...Year 2

I am having such a good time celebrating my Mom's 70 years and the fun isn't over yet... It's a month long celebration... What better person is there in your life that deserves to be celebrated...

Mom and I were talking tonight and she said this is the best Birthday she has had in her adult life... I was shocked to hear her tell me she had not had a birthday party since she was a little girl...

My favorite Birthday story of hers is when she was in the 6th grade.  She invited all the kids at school over and didn't tell my Grandma... Thankfully Grandma always made a cake for her birthday so everything was OK...

So very often people are so wrapped up and worried about what our parents will do for us, that as we forget to do for them... Our parents give so much of themselves to us and never expect anything in return... I just want mine to know how much she means to myself and my brothers and those around her...

It's not her birthday yet, but then again... I shouldn't have to wait for a special day to let her know what she means to me...

Musicsongbird

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Day 627...Year 2

Never stop learning...

When you choose not to learn something new because it seems hard or impossible is when you give up on yourself... You are worth more than that... Others may give up on you, but you should never give up on yourself... If people get mad or upset with you for trying to make your life better, than those are the people you shouldn't be around... You want to surround yourself with people that will lift you up not tear you down... Love and support you for who you are not what you can do for them...

Live each day to the fullest, have no regrets... So many of us regret not saying things to people that have left our lives, either by walking or running away or by divine intervention... We can't base our whole life on what if... We have to learn to love and forgive ourselves and realize what has past is the past and all we can do is look to the future...

Now don't misunderstand what I am trying to say... Forgiving yourself doesn't mean you have done anything wrong necessarily... Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves from the hate and the hurt we have carried in our hearts and lives for so long... For me it is forgiving myself for the fear I have carried since I was a little girl... Forgiving myself for hating my parents for not protecting me, even though they had no idea what was going on.... And choosing to love and forgive myself and my parents for the hurt and fear, knowing it was out of all of our control... Choosing to forgive the man who did the unspeakable to me... Then after the emotional pain has subsided, to ask God to shine his light upon my life and continue to help fill in the gap that was left in me...

Musicsongbird

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Day 626...Year 2

Another day gone and done... Meeting new people, reuniting with old... And there are still so many people to see and things to learn... 

Today I was again told by co-workers that they couldn't wait for me to come back... It still feels amazing...

If the moment hits you and you want to compliment someone or pass on encouraging words to them; don't let that moment pass you by... Because sadly enough, you don't know if you will ever get that opportunity again...

Musicsongbird


Monday, September 16, 2013

Day 625...Year 2

What an amazing day... I received such warm welcomes and it was good to be home... I am still getting settled in to my new work space, but I have put up my name plate, my Norway Flag and my beautiful shadow box given to me by my Typhoon Training family...

It was a crazy morning meeting a lot of the Food and Wine cast and getting organized and learning about my new areas.... This afternoon I had the opportunity to return to my Safety role and facilitate Safety in Motion for a group of our new F&W cast... While heading over to facilitate I ran into a group of my training buddies that I haven't seen in months and all I could do was throw my hands out and belt out my best Babs singing, "I've come home.....at last......" Which resulted in many hugs and welcome homes...

I had an amazing time doing SIMs and just had an over all good day...

Now I just wish I didn't feel sick... :(  I hate congestion and phlegm...

Musicsongbird

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Day 624...Year 2

I saw this picture today and it really struck a chord with me... Throughout my life I have learned that Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real... This takes that and breaks it down even more...

Fear is something we create in our minds when we don't want to face something... I get extremely fearful when it rains and I am driving down the highway, because I hydroplaned once and spun off the road... Does that keep me from driving? No, I face my fears and try and be more careful...

I have a fear of being bit by snakes, but when I go to Gatorland, I have held a giant python, because there are handlers there to protect me... However, if I see a snake in front of my house, the danger is very real that I can be hurt and I turn the other way...

We have to learn to see Fear for what it is... Most Fears can not hurt us unless we allow it to run our lives...

I no longer need to fear that the man that hurt me will ever return... My fear of men is in my mind... Not every man is out to hurt me...

Musicsongbird

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Day 623...Year 2

Sometimes the day goes by so slowly and then you take a nap and it's almost done... But sometimes you just need that time to rest and get your snuggle on with your favorite pillow or pet...

I think I need some more snuggle time...

Musicsongbird

Friday, September 13, 2013

Day 622...Year 2

I love when the day starts out like any other day... On Fridays, Mom, BFF and I usually start off at Wawa for Breakfast and then off to buy groceries... Well today started out pretty similar, except instead of groceries we went to the Magic Kingdom and spent the day playing and sweating in the Florida humidity...

I won Magic Backstage, which is a Cast Member give away that you sign up for... I wont the chance to be a part of the My Magic + ticket tests, which BFF did too but not until the next day after I found out and his was for Epcot, but we had already made surprise reservations for lunch at the Crystal Palace so that Mom could eat with her favorite Disney character, Winnie the Pooh!!!

The picture pretty much says it all... She loved it and BFF and I loved the ham as well ;)

We rode some rides so we could test the Fast Pass system with the My Magic + enabled park tickets, which was extremely fun... BFF and I were able to go on Splash Mountain for the first time in I don't know how long and it was so fun, and we got so wet, but we laughed and we waved from the top of the Brier Patch so Mom could wave back as we raced down the hill...

Besides our Big lunch surprise for Mom, I think my other favorite part was seeing her face light up as she rode Dumbo for the first time ever... I could here her laughing as she tool Dumbo up and down in his journey through the sky...

All evening since we left the park and even since we have gotten home, she still gets a gleam in her eyes and a cute little grin saying what a fantastic time she had today...

and so did we...

Musicsongbird

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Day 621...Year 2

I am leaving the most amazing group of people to begin my new adventure... I have never felt so much love and appreciation as I did this week at the Lagoon... Short of moving away from home to fly off to Neverland... Everywhere I went this week in the park, I was getting hugs and sweet notes and requests not to leave...

On Sunday I had the opportunity to assist in choosing the Big Kahuna for the day... He was an adorable 7 year old boy from Ohio and he had lots of questions for the Life Guard showing him around the park... One of the things the Big Kahuna is responsible for is to make sure all of the Life Guards and Slide Operators working that day are ready to open the park, so they walk over to the morning breakout session... When the Big Kahuna appears everyone cheers... Well, I was walking behind the Big Kahuna's family bringing up the rear and when we walked through the group everyone began to cheer and welcome them in true Disney style... As we were continuing on, there were shouts of Woo Hooo "Songbird"!!! Way to go "Songbird" !!! We love you "Songbird"!!! Which brought color to my cheeks... It was like I stuck my face in a bowl of Red Kool aid...

Later that evening I received this post on FB from the Life Guard that was walking with the Big Kahuna...

Big Kahun: "bye "Life Guard"! And say bye to the other lady too. The one who was wearing pants. Why was she wearing pants and not a bathing suit? Doesn't she know there's water here?"

Throughout the week I had to say my see you real soons to cast members that wouldn't be there today... They made sure that they found time to come see me before they went home...

For most people they are blessed to get to work with a great area and a great cast and management team, in just that one area... But I had two fantastic areas plus I go to know everyone that stopped by my window to ask questions and just say hello...

My top 5 questions were as follows:

5. Can I borrow a name tag? - My response is pointing to the cast cove door and saying that they can ask the cast service manager when they get in at 8:30 am.

4. Can you tell me where I can find "Musicsongbird" she is who is training me today? - My Foodies start out doing e-learning with me before they begin their on the job training.

3. (On the Phone) I won't be in for work today, I am calling in sick... - Here is the number for deployment, this is the TRAINING hotline...

2. Can you give me extra work hours, they said you could... - My response: Who told you? Once again we are the TRAINING office, we only schedule TRAINING... If you want more hours you need to visit the hub and look for extra shifts there... 

1. I have this weird Training thing on my schedule... What is CONT. Training??? - It is CONTINUAL Training and that is run by your area, that is not any training we are facilitating...

I am so going to miss my window on the world and everyone that goes by it... Well mostly everyone... I'm not gonna lie there are a few that I may not miss totally, but You know what I mean...

If 6 months ago you would have told me that my 1 month TA would have been extended until September I would have laughed in your face... But I am so glad the fun got to last...

Musicsongbird