Friday, November 23, 2012

Day 328 of 365

I started feeling a little introspective this evening... I went and saw the amazing Holiday edition of Illuminations with my BFF... It was very reminiscent of one of our first trips to WDW over 12 years ago...I have come so far in that time and I have over come so many things to get where I am now...

As we were driving home I was trying to explain to him, the emotions I feel often.... I'm not saying I don't feel happy or sad, but very often I feel hollow... In this past year I have uncovered so many things about my past and unleashed it all and emotionally and mentally withdrew it from my core...

When you have that much fear and hate trapped inside you for so long, it leaves a huge hole when it's gone... Now it needs to be refilled with most importantly, God's love, but also with love for myself and a feeling of safety and well being...Once a survivor, always a survivor... I can't go back and change what happened... Look what happened when Marty McFly went back in time, he almost got himself and his siblings erased from time, I don't need that on my conscious too...

So I will keep moving forward and allowing myself to be open to others and not fear what may or may not happen...I will keep my head up high and embrace the things that are coming, and not hide behind the pain and fear of the past...

Love, peace and keep moving forward...
Musicsongbird