Thursday, May 31, 2012

Day 152 of 365

So I am blogging from my phone because.cable.has been out for two.days at I am.sitting at the movie waiting for it to.start. I didnt miss yesterday I blogged on my computer so I will post it once the.i.ternet returns. Seeing Snow White and the Huntsman, hope its good. My first midnight opening ever for a movie. Love peace and movie popcorn Musicsongbird

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Day 150 of 365

So, I once again have to thank Mama V for the fantastic magnet she gave me to encourage my training for Mickey's Jingle Jungle 5K on November 10, 2012. It is on the most visited door in my house...the refrigerator door. It helps remind me of what I am striving for.

So if you have been reading for awhile or at least for the past week you will know that I am beginning to train for the 5K as I mentioned above and you will also know that I have begun saving for the registration cost. Well, when I was working this week a dear friend and co-worker of mine came up and told me that they wanted to contribute to my training by paying for my race entry fee. I almost started crying as I am about to as I type this. Like many of you know I started this blog as continued therapy for myself and to complete a challenge I had made to myself. Now I have so many of you wonderful friends and friends I have yet to meet wanting to help me reach other goals I have. To my friend (sponsor) you have know idea what a blessing this is to me. If I wasn't able to come up with the fee I probably would have just backed out like I do on so many things that are healthy or good for me.  I have another co-worker that is working with me on a training plan so that by November I can complete the 5K with no problems.

So thank you thank you and thank you.

Love, peace and thank you for the blessings.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Day 149 of 365

So I had an interesting day...

I am a big advocate for the Disney Look, especially being a Core Trainer, but there is one "Manager" that has an issue knowing the proper way to coach a cast member that may have a look issue. Today I wanted to celebrate and honor the brave men and women who have fought and died for our country. Since I couldn't be with my family in Wisconsin standing out on the bridge overlooking Hwy 94 waving the American Flag for 5+ hours I wanted to do my own salute. Now as cast members we are allowed to wear the Mickey American Flag pin as part of our costume, but since I am not sure what has become of mine I decided to wear my American Flag/ Jiminy Cricket pin, pictured here. I have worn it on other Military holidays and was never questioned about it until today. One of the managers that I was working with today waited until we were out on stage with the guests and in front of another Manager and my trainee to tell me that I couldn't wear that pin. That it wasn't Disney look. When I tried to quietly explain to them, that as a cast member we are allowed to wear the flag pin they cut me off and continued to rant about the pin. If this were my first run in with this particular manager I may have backed down, but I simply turned to them and said "I have permission to wear this," and then I turned back towards my trainee and walked away.

I have been a trainer for 4 years and a core trainer for 3 and a half.  There is a right way and a wrong way on coaching a person. First you do not do it in front of guests, second you don't do it in front of other cast members. I was even approached by the other Manager that witnessed the altercation later and was told that that manager was out of line. I really appreciated knowing they had my back in the situation. (Thanks "nobody reads my blog" you know who you are) ;-)

So going back to my Uncle and Mom and family, I am so proud of them for flag waving today, honoring those soldiers that have died for our freedom.  My fantastic Uncle goes out on that bridge for Memorial Day, Veteran's Day, Fourth of July, he even got a Santa Suit and went out during the Christmas season showing his patriotism. My uncle (pictured below) is a Vietnam Veteran, one of my other Uncles is a retired Colonel, my cousin and his wife are Air Force. I am so proud to have family that have served our country to help keep us free. Please don't ever forget the brave men and women that have sacrificed their lives for our freedom.

I knew a man called him Sandy Kane
Few folks even knew his name
But a hero was he
Left a boy, came back a man
Still many just don't understand
About the reasons we are free

I can't forget the look in his eyes
Or the tears he cries
As he said these words to me

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue 
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

Now Sandy Kane is no longer here
But his words are oh so clear
As they echo through out our land
For all his friends who gave us all
Who stood the ground and took the fall
To help their fellow man

Love your country and live with pride
And don't forget those who died America can't you see

All gave some and some gave all
And some stood through for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall
Some gave all

And if you ever think of me
Think of all your liberties and recall, yes recall
Some gave all

Billy Ray Cyrus

Love, peace and Never Forget those that Gave All

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Day 148 of 365

Almost thought I wasn't going to get to blog tonight. About 8:00 I heard an explosion in the distance and then a few seconds later the house went dark. So like a logical person I called the electric company where I was told that no one else had reported the outage in my area, that I was the first and they would try and get it restored by 11pm. A little bit later there was a knock at the door and it was my neighbor coming to check if my electric was out as well, which of course it was so we went outside to chat while it was still light and after seeing a few more neighbors out we coon learned that the whole block was out. Ironically enough four other neighbors had called and were told they too were the ONLY ones that had reported the outage. HA! So, my one neighbor from across the street called and when he too was told he was the ONLY one that had called he said, "funny that is the same thing my other neighbors have been told, so why don't you investigate this a little more because one of ,y neighbors is on oxygen and needs the electricity to run it." Well when customer service looked again, low and behold there were actually not, 1, not 4 but 22 houses that were without power. So how can 5 different people call and they are all the first and no one else had reported it. Really?

Well, I heard the transformer blow so I know it wasn't just me. The funniest part was I received a voice mail from the electric company stating the outage had been caused by animals... Lol!!! My neighbor and I both heard the transformer blow so unless an animal got to close to the power source...well I'm no electrician but it made me laugh.

So going from possibly no blog to a run on paragraph of a blog, I would say I had a crazy night. Now, I think it's time to say adieu.

Love,peace and always keep candles on hand (and something to lite them with)

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Day 147 of 365

What a relaxing evening. Don't you just love when you rediscover a hobby you love? I was asked to help create a very special gift for someone and was given a short time to do it, but I love a challenge and so I agreed to take it on. So tonight after I did laundry, watered the flowers here and at the neighbors, cooked and ate dinner, I sat down with brush and hand and began to paint. Even thought I know this is just the test before I do the real one, I wanted to make sure it would be something I would be proud to show. Don't you wish that is how everyone was? That they always gave their best?

But I know we are all human and we have our short comings. Sometimes it's hard to do our best when it isn't our passion. Today I heard someone make a comment, "well, he didn't work as hard because he didn't like his area, but now that he is in an area he likes, he does a great job."

I know I have failed in this way a lot lately and it is something I want to do better with. I feel like as a leader within my peers they look to me for guidance and support and if I'm not giving it my all then they don't feel like they do either. Even though I'm not always happy about what I am doing right now, I can't let that effect my work ethic. I need to look inside and remind myself why I wanted to do my role to begin with and do the best job I can do until my next role comes along.

love, peace and patience

Friday, May 25, 2012

Day 146 of 365

SO sleepy, but saw a great movie with a great friend, The Avengers. It was awesome. My favorite line was, "There is only one God Ma'am and I don't think He would dress that way." Captain America. I wanted to jump up and cheer!

Since my Mom is a thousand miles away staying with my brothers for a few weeks, it's strange getting used to be living on my own again, but thankfully my BFF is keeping a watchful eye on me. It's kind of nice having someone else take care of me, instead of the other way around.

Well, the eyes are drooping so I must sign off.

Love, peace and a warm hug

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Day 145 of 365

I love my BFF dearly but sometimes it is hard for guys to understand that being an emotional being like I am, sometimes I cry because I need to cry and I might just need some time to myself. Time to hide away and not worry about talking to anyone or having to entertain anyone else. To just have some me time.

I know I have said the stuff about me time before but sometimes I forget how important it is and then I have a day like today where in my mind I know I just need some time for myself but my heart doesn't want to hurt others that I love and so it's easier to put myself off than to put a loved one or friend off.

I just need to keep reminding myself how important I am...

Love, peace and me time

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Day 144 of 365

I have to start out by saying thank you Momma V., you know who you are. When you gave me that magnet tonight I realized someone besides my immediate family really cares about me and really supports me and I am so glad to call you friend.

I must have needed to hear about branches and roots again because Rachel on Glee sang about who she needed to grow roots before branches last night and I think that is true in life. I was talking with a co-worker today and we were discussing how a lot of people in our lives have been trying to push us into meeting men because they want us to be happy and we both feel that right now we need to figure out who we are before we jump into pursuing any relationships. For me I think the words of the song rings true, that I need to grow roots (in who I am) before growing branches (reaching out to new relationships). Of course I paraphrased a bit and may have written as my own version but it spoke to me in that way.

I have seen too many relationships fall apart because people weren't ok in their own skin before jumping into a relationship or even marriage and those situations didn't end happily ever after. So I am going to reach for being happy with me first and the rest will come in time.

Love, peace and take your time...
Remember the finest wines get better over time...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Day 143 of 365

What a long day...And it still isn't over, if it weren't enough that the last show to vote for your American Idol was on, then there was the Glee Season Finale and now still waiting to see who won Dancing with the Stars. I hope it's Donald Driver!

I heard a cute story today on the radio... A mother was telling the story of her mother coming home just crying and she asked if she was OK, but the daughter said she didn't want to talk about it and then left for her room. The whole evening the mother tried to get her to talk but to no avail the daughter remained silent. The next morning her daughter came bounding down the stairs with a huge smile on her face. The mother lifted a prayer of thanks and then asked her daughter what changed from the night before and she simply responded with this... Sometimes with friends they have bad stuff and good stuff and you have to decide if it's worth taking the package...

Isn't it true? A true friendship is all about being there for the good stuff and the bad stuff. A real friendship doesn't mean you pick and chose when you want to be a part of someones life. You are through it all...

Love, peace and the whole kit and caboodle!

Donald won!!!!

Monday, May 21, 2012

Day 142 of 365

A...MAZ...ING! Went to the Disney Art of Animation Resort today for the open mouse. It was incredible! This is my first time getting to see a resort before it is seen or touched by guests. We were able to take our time and walk through the Main building, see the Nemo section and than the Radiator Springs section as well. I can't wait to stay there or at least go and eat there! For a value resort it is so cool. I can't wait for a bunch of friends or family to come down so we can stay there!

Seeing all of the imagination and creativity that went into it, makes me proud to be a member of the Disney family. We were greeted by every cast member we passed. The story lines and themed greetings were so impressive.

It really has inspired me to want to do some creative things of my own, so sit back and see where these dreams will take us!

Love, peace and inspiration
Musicsongbird are never to old to play!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Day 141 of 365

I had such a great day today. I got to work along side one of my favorite people and got to train two great new cast members. I thank God every day that He led me to Florida. As much as I miss my Brothers and Sisters-in-law, niece and nephews and my many friends, I feel like making the move has allowed me to get to know who I am and what I can truly accomplish. I am finally in a career I am happy in with a company I adore. Because of this amazing job I have met so many incredible people and because of the outstanding benefits I have been able to start the journey to peace with my past.

I have reclaimed my love for writing. This blog has been a cathartic outlet for me, as well as a creative one as well. There is not limit to where this will lead me. I am still working over a possible book in the future, even if it's just through this blogging.

Something I am learning is to never underestimate the power of your dreams. Following your Dreams is never easy but if you hold tight it promises to be a heck of a ride.

Love, peace and never stop dreaming

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Day 140 of 365

 So I have decided that I want to start training to compete in my first 5K. I have truly been inspired by my big brother who started racing in them and now I want to also. I am a little nervous because I am not a runner, in fact when I worked for Kindercare, years ago, I had attempted to start jogging and my co-worker at the time said I wondered where you had gotten those black eyes. She was referring of course to the fact that I have a large chest and was attempting to make a joke that if I ran hard enough I may just knock myself out with all of the bouncing. Lol!

I joined a few weeks back, but like so many other things (besides this blog) I stopped recording anything in it. I guess now that I have decided to run/walk in a 5K, I need to start documenting my workouts. 

Any and all cheers of support would be appreciated. I will post when I register. The next Disney 5K is in November at Animal Kingdom. It is $50, so as soon as I have the extra money I will register. :-)

Love, peace and run like the wind Bullseye!

Friday, May 18, 2012

Day 139 of 365

I had a bit of an epiphany today. See my mom suffers from PSE (poor self-esteem) which I used to think I suffered from it as well, but the truth is is suffer from PSI (poor self-image). I know I have a talent for singing and writing, and an infectious personality but what is hard for me to see is when I look at myself in the mirror, I can't help but think why would anyone want to get to know me when I look the way I do. 

I hate when people say, but she has a great personality. The problem is men don't look at your personality. They look at the outer wrapping of the package, if the wrapping doesn't attract their eye, they usually keep looking for another one. They don't take time to see whats in the package so in my mind, this package is just going to get old and dusty. So new mom's out there or mom's with young boys. Please teach them to respect women, to look beyond the outer package and take the time to get to know a girl before he decides whether she is worth his time. 

love, peace and raise them to be gentleman

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Day 138 of 365

I am in love with Pintrest but the worse problem with it is all of the food recipes. Correction, all of the dessert recipes! The more I see the more I pin, the more I pin the more I want to try. So, this is why I have changed my FB profile pic to the pic to the right. It's a constant reminder to me that I can pin all I want as long as I don't consume all I pin.

A friend gave me some great advice about eating recently. Make sure you leave desserts as just that... dessert. And then only have enough that you will actually enjoy.

Be an active eater.

What does that mean? Actively pay attention to what you are putting into your mouth and how it makes you feel. As you are eating your meal pay attention to how your body responds. Allow yourself to actually taste the food. If you are eating and just chewing and consuming your food, how do you know if you even like it? Also, if you take time when you are eating you allow your body the time to decide if it is satisfied. Notice I didn't say full? If we eat until we are satisfied we won't over indulge.

Going back to my point about dessert, try and share it with who you are with. If you do that you won't consume as much. If you think about it, after a few bites most of us are just eating it to finish it, not because we are savoring each bite.

Love, peace and eat with a purpose

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Day 137 of 365

God just continues to amaze me every day... He knows exactly when my heart needs lifting because he sends sweet people from every walk of life to encourage me and lift me up.

Struggling not only with depression but poor self image as well, in one part of my mind I know what I do makes a difference to others at work but there are just some days I can't see it. Well today must have been one of those days or those days where you wonder why you do what you do because I was getting all kinds of love and support from my fellow cast members around me.

I went over to say hello and introduce my new trainee to two of my cast members in the shop we were going to be working in and they started telling her and each other about what a happy person I always am and how fun I make everything. All I could do was say thank you. Than after awhile we were working on the other side of the store when I was hugged from behind. When I turned around it was another area trainer that I had trained. She had balloons floating behind her back and a celebration button stating she had won a guest service award. When she was telling me about receiving the award she kept telling me how everything she does that's magical for our guests is because of what she learned on her first day training with me.

Lately some of my fellow team mates and I have been talking about how so very often our position is kind of thankless. We don't get recognized by management very often because they look at us with an attitude of, well that's just part of their job, but for anyone it is nice to know when you are doing a good job. Well, I realized tonight, I don't need a special certificate that says what I do makes a cast tell me I do. At one point this evening I had a kind of Twilight Zone experience when I stopped and looked around the shop I was working in and all four of the other cast members had been my trainee for apart or all of their training, and looking around I saw first hand, the impact of my behavior and attitude.

I saw cast members taking pride in what they do and having a great time doing it. Not one of the men or women in the that shop were bored or complaining. They were doing what they needed to do to make the shop look good and making sure to take time with all the guests that came in to visit.

Love, peace and learning to look past what I see on the outside to see how others see me

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Day 136 of 365

It's really strange that I felt in touch with Puck on Glee tonight, but growing up I progressively gained weight starting in around the 3rd grade, and of course as you get older kids get nastier and more mean. There was one boy in particular that felt the need to pick on me that lived around the block from me and we were at the same bus stop around 7th grade or so. 

Well, back about 25 years or so the girls all shopped at the mall stores like Limited Express, Eddie Baur, Merry Go Round... not exactly places that offered plus sized options. So of course I didn't wear blue jeans until probably High School and I wore not so fashionable stirrup pants or spandex leggings. There weren't stores like Lane Bryant or Torrid like there are today.  I was teased by being told I was "as big as a whale" or that I was ugly, and of course being considered an unpopular person back then I figured being weird was better than being an outcast. I loved the Monkees but so did my friends at the time. It was during their 20th reunion tour that their shows came back on TV and we became instant fans.  Than the New Kids became popular and I was an even bigger dork because I loved them too. But probably the worst thing that happened and the best was I really became passionate about being a Christian. So I was now known for wearing very outspoken Christian t-shirts. Like instead of the popular GOLD'S GYM shirts guys would wear, I would wear one that said GOD's GYM along with a bible verse. I know that acting out against the norm and making myself the "show" if you will, was my way of combating against all the horrible names and things that were said to me over those years. 

I know a lot of comedians says that they wanted to cause the laughter instead of being the butt of the laughter and I guess this was my way of turning the attention around. I know that's why I act as crazy as I do at work and when I am out with friends. I don't want to be that young fat girl that is being made fun of anymore. Another reason my whole self image is so screwed up. In my mind I don't feel like I weigh as much as I do, but the rub wholes in my pant thighs and the indention marks from my straps aren't because I am thin. It hurts when I look in the mirror because I can still hear those taunting voices from all of those years ago and my empty mind with nothing to say in return to protect myself. 

When you get to the end of High School you always try and be one of those Mostly Likely people they write up in the Senior Superlatives... But didn't get craziest dress or hair, not most likely to succeed, no best at anything, nothing... I was just another fish in the sea of 385. Even though a huge chunk of that sea (girls wise) at one point or another had read one of my infamous NKOTB story notebooks and probably read this blog now... But it still makes me sad to know that the words of one person or a small group of people still haunts me after all of these years. 

And all I can say to that is I may be fat but you will always be mean until you come to terms with the why behind it and until you ask for forgiveness from all of those you hurt with your mean words. So, for me to move forward, I forgive you, and now MY healing can begin.

You, with your words like knives
And swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again
Got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard
Calling me out when I'm wounded
You picking on the weaker man

You can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know, what you don't know...

Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?

You, with your switching sides
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation
You have pointed out my flaws again
As if I don't already see them
I walk with my head down
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again

I bet you got pushed around
Somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now
'Cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know, what you don't know...

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing
But all you are is mean

Lyrics from Mean by Taylor Swift

Love, peace and forgiveness

Monday, May 14, 2012

Day 135 of 365

I have now made it 9 days without having a soda or sweet tea. Some may not think that is a very big deal but for me, I see it as a mini milestone. If this is one I can get past then I can pass other milestones as well. 

I was once told it only takes 6 weeks to make or break a habit. There are many habits I have broken in my life and unfortunately I have made as well. So I feel like I have finally come to that place in my life where bad habits need to be broken and good ones that need to be made. 

Obviously I am in the habit of writing everyday and I am way past the 6 weeks, now it has just become a way of life for me. That's what I want to do is make those new habits into a way of life for myself. As the week moves forward I am going to look at my day to day activities and see what other things I can change from once in awhile items to daily items. 

love, peace and new habits!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Day 134 of 365

Happy Mother's Day Mom! 

To the woman that has raised three fantastic kids, if I do say so myself. Today was supposed to be all about her but because I have been sick she did what Mom's have for centuries have been doing. She took care of her baby. I did manage to make her breakfast and take her to church but after that I felt completely useless. 

Nothing is better than your mom taking care of you when you are sick. They know better than anyone what you need to make you feel better. 

So, Mom thank you for all you have done for me. Without you I could never be living out my Disney dream like I am.  Mom, no matter what, I will always and forever love you. I am so blessed to be one of your children and best of all to be your only daughter.

Love, peace and a mother's hug

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Day 133 of 365

So, continuing on from yesterday....

I want to congratulate and wish all of my girlfriends that are new mom's over this past yea, or the past few years. It has been such a pleasure watching your tummies grow and to now get to see the lovely babies that are here for you to raise and love. You are truly blessed. I hope this first mother's day is amazing and remember to treasure every moment you have with your little ones as you watch them grow.

To my surrogate moms, those wonderful ladies that have given me advice, that have held my hand through tough times when my own Mom was miles away. My Disney Moms, you are all so very special to me. I am so blessed to have you in my life and to call you friends and to know I can trust you and rely on you.

To my Other-Mother via my BFF, thank you for your advice, your friendship and your love.

To my Sisters, thank you for loving and taking care of my Brothers (they both need it) and my Nieces and Nephews. I am so glad to have you in my family. I love you both so very much and thanks for straitening my wings now and then. ;-)

If you haven't thanked the Moms in your life for what they do and who they are then take the time. Let them know how much you care.

Love you

Peace, love and a Mother's Hug

Don't worry Mom, I didn't forget you....

Friday, May 11, 2012

Day 132 of 365

Thought I had defeated the evil dizziness but alas it is rearing it's ugly head once again. However, this time the headache part has switched to the right side. How magical. (sarcasm)

This begins my salute to moms... Even if you don't have a good relationship with her, it is never to late to start again. We are here because our mom gave birth to us. She carried us for up to 9 months and then pushed us out into the world. ;-) For some of us that pushing hasn't stopped and for some they haven't stopped pulling us back. But no matter what your situation she gave birth to you and you wouldn't be here if it weren't for that.

Some Mom's are good, some are great and some need some help. Remember Mom's are human too and can make mistakes, but the one thing that is true of all Mom's whether you want to believe it or not, they always want better for their children than they have.

It's only Friday and Mother's day is still 2 days away, so if you happened to forget it's so soon, than here is your reminder. You don't need to spend a ton of money on flowers or candy or cards. Take time out of your day to call her to tell her how you feel and how much you love her.

Love, peace and Mom's love

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Day 131 of 365

Second hand smoke causes far more problems than most people realize. I am a child of former smokers. My mom only smoked for maybe 2 years but my dad smoked until right before his life was taken by non-small cell lung cancer in 1998.

As a child I suffered from repetitive ear aches, there is scar tissue in my left ear to prove it.  Every year I suffer from horrible sinus infections and today is no exception. I am having extreme dizzy spells which we believe is being caused by my ear being clogged, which in turn is causing an unbalance in my equilibrium.

So why am I bringing all of this up? Because I know living in the house with a smoker caused these problems for me. If they caused this for me, imagine all of the others that second hand smoke has effected.

Here are some facts about lung cancer from the National Cancer Society:

  • Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in the United States for both men and women. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • Lung cancer is the most preventable form of cancer death in our society. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • Lung cancer estimates for 2012 (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012):
  • New cases of lung cancer: 226,160
    Males: 116,470
    Females: 109,690
  • Deaths from lung cancer: 160,340
    Males: 87,750
    Females: 72,590
  • Besides lung cancer, tobacco use also increases the risk for cancers of the mouth, lips, nasal cavity (nose) and sinuses, larynx (voice box), pharynx (throat), esophagus (swallowing tube), stomach, pancreas, kidney, bladder, uterus, cervix, colon/rectum, ovary (mucinous), and acute myeloid leukemia. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • In the United States, tobacco use is responsible for nearly 1 in 5 deaths; this equals about 443,000 early deaths each year. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • Tobacco use accounts for at least 30% of all cancer deaths and 80% of lung cancer deaths. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • Cigarette use has had a dramatic decline since the release of the first US Surgeon General’s Report on Smoking and Health in 1964. Even so, about 22% of men and 17% of women still smoked cigarettes in 2010, with almost 80% of these people smoking daily. (Source: CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 9/10/10)
  • Cigarette smoking among adults age 18 and older went down 50% between 1965 and 2009 – from 42% to 21% – but nearly 47 million Americans still smoke. (Source: CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, 9/10/10)
  • Cigars contain many of the same carcinogens (cancer-causing substances) found in cigarettes. Between 1997 and 2007, sales of little cigars had increased by 240%, while large cigar sales decreased by 6%. Cigar smoking causes cancers of the lung, mouth, throat, larynx (voice box), esophagus (swallowing tube), and probably the pancreas. (Source:Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • Little cigars are about the same size and shape as cigarettes, come in packs of 20, but unlike cigarettes, they can be candy or fruit flavored. In most states, they cost much less than cigarettes, making them affordable to youth. A 2009 CDC survey found that about 27% of 12th grade boys and about 10% of the 12th grade girls had smoked cigars in the past 30 days. (Sources: Cancer Facts & Figures 2011; CDC Morbidity and Mortality Surveillance Summary, 6/4/10)
  • In 1997, nearly half (48%) of male high school students and more than one-third (36%) of female students reported using some form of tobacco – cigarettes, cigars, or smokeless tobacco products – in the past month. The percentages went down to 30% for male students and 22% for female students in 2009. But among 12th graders, 40% of the boys and 26% of the girls had used tobacco in the past month. (Sources: Cancer Facts & Figures 2010; CDC Morbidity and Mortality Surveillance Summary, 6/4/10)
  • Each year, about 3,400 non-smoking adults die of lung cancer as a result of breathing secondhand smoke. Each year secondhand smoke also causes about 46,000 deaths from heart disease in people who are not current smokers. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)
  • Among adults age 18 and older, national data from 2009 showed 7% of men and less than 1% of women were current users of smokeless tobacco. Nationwide, about 15% of US male high school students and more than 2% of female high school students were using chewing tobacco, snuff, or dip in 2009. (Sources: Cancer Facts & Figures 2011; CDC Morbidity and Mortality Surveillance Summary, 6/4/10)
  • Between 2000 and 2004, smoking caused more than $193 billion in annual health-related costs in the United States, including smoking-attributable medical costs and productivity losses. (Source: Cancer Facts & Figures 2012)

If these aren't reason enough to quit smoking than look at the little faces around you, sons, daughters, nieces, nephews or grandchildren, aren't they worth it? I have heard all kinds of excuses from friends and family, that they do OK for a few months, but then all of the sudden they get irritable and mean, but just 20 minutes after quiting your body begins the healing process, so whatever side effects there are months after your last cigarette isn't the cigarettes anymore. 

I'd be a liar if I said I never tried smoking, because I did but it was as an adult and it was over the course of a weekend years ago and that is it. I can also see how one becomes addicted. I am so thankful that my BFF quit smoking and has continued to be successful. I pray daily for my brother to really want to quit to better his health and not follow our dad down the same road. I love you big brother....

Love, peace and a healthy heart and lungs

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Day 130 of 365


I have to get this out of my system before I let it consume me. I know this person that takes every little thing to heart and they let it consume their entire life to the point where everyone around them suffers because they constantly complain about how they think this person or that person is out to get them. Or if something happened weeks or even months ago they keep reliving it and rehashing it to the point where they can relive those exact feelings of hurt and bring them to the surface. Did I mention all of these things revolve around their job?

If you are feeling this way on a daily basis and you let it all bottle up inside you are never going to be happy. You have got to learn to let things go. All of those feelings inside are toxic to you. If you are feelings these things every time you are at work than maybe that job is not the one for you. If someone comes to you and vents to you because they are angry about a situation, they aren't yelling at YOU they are yelling about the situation and you can not take it personal.

Ok, so I am feeling better now that I gotten it out of my system. But seriously, if I found myself in a job where I am constantly feeling this way, and I have, I decide it is time to move on and find a better fit.

Love, peace and release

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Day 129 of 365

I love the Little Couple on TLC. It just shows you that no matter what you look like from outward appearances, what matters is the size of your heart.

I have a real hard time with my appearance in my mind. When I look into the mirror it can be hard to see the good. I see the too much extra weight and a hair style that is blah and I am just unhappy with me. I know I have talents in many things, and I am told I am fun and engaging and make people smile, but I can't get past the outer shell.

It's sad that I can dish out all this advice to others but I can't take it for myself. Isn't that how it always is? I still have such a disconnect between my mind and my body. In my mind I am not as heavy as I am in reality but pictures don't lie. I am sure I have written about this before but it is just weighing heavy on my mind with the Reunion coming up.

So I have been soda free now since Saturday. Three whole days!!!! Yeah and NO sweet tea either! Go Me! It only takes 6 weeks to break a habit or make a new one and I have now worked outside at home three days in a row!!!! I am getting my body moving, even if my foot hurts while doing it. And I am feeling better and I believe I am sleeping better also. So little things are getting better.

Love, peace and small changes make a big difference!

Monday, May 7, 2012

Day 128 of 365

Do you ever have those days where you work all day and you feel totally exhausted and all you want to do is relax? Well, that is how I felt today, but my mom had other things in mind. So I changed into my grungies and headed outside to scrub the front awning. Since mother nature helped out with pre-wetting everything I went pretty well and I have to admit I feel better now that it's complete. Now I just need to remember this feeling every night so I can continue in this frame of mind, you know exercising. 

I have done pretty good with my new drinking habit. Well except for Saturday, I had a ginger ale at lunch because it reminded me of cerveza. ;-)

We said Happy Retirement to a 23 year Disney veteran today. He spent most of his time working in Club Cool (once Ice Station Cool), I learned more from him about the inner workings of the syrup room than I ever thought I would know. Some thought he was a cranky older guy or a little wacky but I thought he was a sweet man that really loved what he did on a daily basis. If he wasn't on the floor keeping the shop clean, or as clean as you can keep a free soda place, he was in the back making sure the pop kept flowing. I loved watching him interact with the kids that came in to try the cokes. He would always ask them about school or what their favorite hobby was. He will truly be missed, he was even asked to "bless" the drink pods before he clocks out for the last time. 
Happy Retirement King of Club Cool! 

Love, peace and always Coca Cola ;-)

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Day 127 of 365

So, I am going home in July for my 20th High School Reunion, and I am having mixed emotions... I am going to see all of these people, some of which I have not seen in the last 20 years and some I haven't seen since I left almost 5 years ago. I'm not worried about the High School ones, I am actually more anxious to see my church family.  My life has changed quite a bit since leaving and I want to share with them the changes I have made and the challenges I have over come. Plus, I get to sing and I haven't really gotten to do that in forever.

With as much time as I get to entertain the guests, belting out a melodious tune isn't usually a part of my day unless it's in the privacy of my car and that's when I have my mini concerts. I would love to be able to record another album. Maybe in the future when my bills are paid and I can tuck aside a little extra. My Aunt and Uncle keep asking when I am going to make a new one because he is wearing out my first one. 

I am going to get up on my soap box for a minute about our reunion, so I am speaking on behalf of the classmates that are traveling to get home for this shindig. In my job I don't make a ton of money and the cost to fly home, time off work, meals out and than the added cost of the Reunion expenses adds up fast. Of course this is my excuse to get to see a lot of family and friends but, our reunion costs are getting crazy. I am totally excited about the tour of our school and having a picnic where families are welcome is great! It's a time to really relax be ourselves and laugh and have fun. As for me, my high school reunion is ending there. For many others that are choosing to spend the money there will be a dressy dinner downtown at some fine dinning restaurant/banquet hall. For me I just can't justify that added expense if I have already spent like 4 or 5 hours with everyone already, why do I need to spend one days pay to hangout with them for an additional 4 to 5 hours. I'm sorry if that disappoints some but I had to speak out for the little man. It makes me sad because I know some class mates that won't be going because getting there is just too much money. 

Regardless of how much time I spend with everyone I know it will be a great time of reminiscing and getting reacquainted and who knows what will come of it. What I do know is I am a little less anxious now and a lot more excited...for the whole weekend. (especially singing ;-) )

Love, peace and sing your heart out

Anyone interested in my first album. send me an email! It's contemporary christian music just $10 + shipping.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Day 126 of 365

We all want to be surrounded by people who genuinely love and care about us, whether it's at home or work and since most of us spend the majority of our time at work we definitely want it to be a happy place to be. I feel like I have hit the jackpot. I have talked about my Team before but I have to say it again. I am so blessed to get to play with this group on a daily basis. I have never felt so totally supported before I was a member of our current Core Team. There are 11 of us total led by the most amazing leader and a fantastic group of Coordinators. 

I know we all go through our mini issues and stresses but in the end we are all hear to support each other. We celebrate each others accomplishments and we are each others shoulders when we need to cry. I love the honesty between us and that we aren't afraid to be so with each other.  

I had dinner with part of our group this evening and one member opened her heart and shared with me how she believes I deserve to go much farther than where I am now. How she loves that I can make everyone feel comfortable and make them happy. It truly touched me that she was tearing up as she shared it with me, because I knew she wasn't just saying those things to impress my Mom, who was also with us. She was speaking from her heart and I am truly touched. I feel so incredibly blessed to have the gifts God has given me and sometimes I feel like I don't give him enough of the credit. 

I know I have said this a lot but it is so hard for me to take a compliment because I have such negative things go through my head about myself so very often. It's a battle I fight daily, and meds can only help so much. I am learning how to say thank you, but the hardest part is actually believing others words to be true and honest. 

So many people only see me from the outside, the way I act crazy and happy, but in so many ways I am the total opposite. At home and when I am "off work" I am the polar opposite. We hear guests tell us all the time, "No one can be as happy as you all are all the time can they?" Don't get me wrong, it's not that I'm not happy all the time, it's just a different me when I take the mask off when I am alone. 

Love, peace and learn to believe in me

Friday, May 4, 2012

Day 125 of 365

I wasn't always fat. In fact I was a skinny thing up until about the third grade, when I started emotional eating. I don't remember it real well but I do know that the older I got the more I would eat for no reason. Mom would buy me a package of cookies and I would eat the whole package in one sitting. Same thing with bags of candy. When I got older and I was driving age, taco bell, McDonalds and Burger King were just down the road. Buying a burger and throwing away the wrapper to hide the evidence was not uncommon for me. This habit has followed me into adult hood where it still haunts me at times.

Tonight we just finished eating dinner and I was full but maybe 30 minutes later I started thinking, "Is there something else I can eat?" It wasn't because I was hungry, but just because I was bored. Friday night, nothing good is on TV, my foot is causing me some pain so I don't really want to get up and go walking or get on the wii fit and mom was off in her room doing something so what else could I do right? But I didn't. So the way i see it, I looked at boredom and stared it down. I won this round. At work they have this couch to 5K challenge, and I am really thinking of taking on this challenge, but my fear of failure is really taunting me right now.

In therapy I learned that I need to make small goals for myself. I should never same something like, "I want to lose 150 pounds by next summer," because once I fall off the wagon the first time and I'm not losing weight like I think I should I start to get frustrated and then frustration leads to giving up entirely.  So I don't want to make that kind of screaming announcement.

My first goal is to lose 15 pounds in six weeks (6/15).

My first step towards reaching that goal is to stop drinking soda and sweet tea. It isn't that I drink a ton of either but they are my weakness lately. How can I live in the south and not drink sweet tea? It is completely unpatriotic of me! Sam Eagle would be ashamed. ;)

Love, peace and stay away from Pop and Sweet Tea!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Day 124 of 365

What an amazing day. I love when I have the opportunity to spend quality time with the people I love the most and see some beautiful things. Me, my Mom and my BFF spent the afternoon at Epcot's 19th Annual Flower and Garden Festival.

We started out at the welcome center and enjoyed seeing two different presentations on plants, as we were leaving to head out to see the World and the flowers it contained we noticed my Mom's scooter wasn't running quite right so I got it down to the Stroller location to store it and then got a wheelchair so Mom could walk with it or if she needed it could sit and we could push her. It worked out great because it held anything we acquired along the way.

As we explored the Festival together we laughed and joked, stopped to browse and of course Mom would see something she liked and then consider if she really wanted it. But what truly made this day so amazing is the ease we all fell into. My BFF doesn't have to watch out for me and my Mom, but he does. When he was wanting fish and chips from the UK, he knew that was Mom's favorite and offered to split them with her. When it was time for a potty break he offered to wait with the wheelchair. But when my Mom needed to be pushed because she was getting tired and he noticed after a bit of my pushing her that I was having pain in my hands, he stopped me, handed me the shopping bags and took over pushing the wheelchair.

No one asks him to do these things, he just does them because he wants to take care of us. I moved down here the year after him and he has been taking care of me ever since. I don't know what I would do without him and I don't ever want to find out.  I am so happy to say that he is definitely a root. (Go back a week to see what that means if you are confused).

To all of my other roots, and you know who you are, be careful because you may find yourself starring in a future blog as well. ;)

Love, peace and Forever Friends