Monday, April 30, 2012

Day 121 of 365

Today while working I mentioned to a few of my co-workers that I will be going home for my High School Reunion this summer. The response I received from one of them left me feeling shame towards people of this country and pride in our unsung heroes. Since I don't like to use friends names for their own privacy I will here on out refer to him as Sam.

Sam graduated with 42 guys in his class; out of those 42, 28 of them including Sam went to Vietnam. The plan for his platoon is that they would be dropped in, because of a miscalculation by the powers that be, they were dropped to soon behind the line and directly into an ambush. When Sam awoke in the Hospital, without his dog tags, he was the only one of the 28 from his High Class that had survived. His family in Puerto Rico received a telegram and an American flag stating that he was dead because his body was not recovered.  With the help from a military priest, he was able to contact his family to let them know he had survived. After two months in the hospital he was able to go home carrying not only the pain of loss of his friends, but burned legs and shrapnel in his shoulder.

When he arrived home there was no ticker tape parade no welcome home. He faced angry hurtful words from people who hated the war and anyone attached to it. The returning soldiers were called enemy, evil and murderers. His mother was very scared for him and so he introduced him to a priest friend of hers who took him into the monastery for over two months to help him get through his anger and pain from everything he had experienced. He confessed to me that he doesn't believe he would still be around if it weren't for the church. I can't put words in his mouth but I believe he was wanting to say it was because of God but we were in mixed company as his story continued to unfold.

After he was well he stayed in the reserves. His brother was also in the military, just like their Father before them and their Grandfather before him. His brother volunteered for a rescue mission and was killed. He told me he still has the flag that was sent to his family that was supposed to be for him, but to him it represents his lost classmates.

To me all of those boys that risked their lives and the ones that lost their lives fighting someone else's war, are and will forever be heroes.

We will Never Forget.....

Love, peace and celebrate the forgotten heroes

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Day 120 of 365

Why is it that when some people get into a relationship, whether it be dating or friendship, they completely forget about what matters to themselves and they only do what they believe is important to keep the other person in their life happy. Basically, they are a people pleaser. They don't see the value in their own life and time, because they are worried if they don't do things for that other person they will lose them.

It's crazy because that is me... I have spent so many years of my life trying to make others happy, through taking time away from myself to do something for them, or spending money on them that I don't really have, all because I am afraid that if i don't do these things they won't want me around. I had stopped taking care of my well being because I didn't believe I was worth it or that I mattered. But I am finally realizing after all of this time, that I can't forget about me. I spend so much time changing my plans to accommodate others, that I run out of time for me, and guess what? Usually those people I am always doing for, rarely if ever reciprocate.

So, what is the answer, how do I fix this? I change me. I have to let myself know that it is OK to say no to others, to take that time to do for me. My mental health and well being should always be my number one priority. And by the looks of the most recent photos a friend took with me, I have allowed myself to lose focus on who and what is important.

Love, peace and time for me...

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Day 119 of 365

I have this great neighbor that stopped by this evening while I was working out in the yard. She was asking about our upcoming cable TV switch and we started chatting about different things and she told me this random story about her sweet late mother. Now, first I have to explain, my neighbor is from England and her sweet mother was a double let amputee just above her knees.

So, my neighbor used to have a Ram truck and so she would have to lift her mother into the cab and when she did her Mum would grab the Oh Crap handle, as we call it, and then pull herself into the seat. Well, this particular trip to the store she was going to help her out of her wheel chair and into the car, so she counted one, two, three and when she went to lift her Mum, her Mum passed gas rather loudly. This caused her Mum to miss the handle and fall into the foot well of the truck in a fit of hysterical laughter. The more she laughed, the more gas she would pass and so she started crying she was laughing so hard. Well, while this was happening a bystander walked over because of the noise and asked her Mum if she was ok... Well, being a sassy old English lady, she told the bystander she didn't know who the woman was. So a few minutes later an Osceola County Police officer pulled up. Her mother continued to laugh. My neighbor tried to explain to the officer that this was her mother and she was trying to funny in her British way; and so the officer asked if her daughter was usually abusive to her.   Her response was to ask him if he was trying to look up her shorts, since at this point she is still laying on her back in the foot well with her stubs flailing in the air.  He helped her up and then made sure she was really OK and then handed her mother his card and told her if she was ever being abused to call him.

Well, to make a long story longer, everything was OK in the end and she can laugh about it now, but I learned something from this...No matter what happens in life you need to find time to laugh. To enjoy the little things that make you smile. We all go through rough times, clearly my neighbors Mum had a rough time with losing her legs, but she never lost her sense of humor, no matter how off kilter it was.

Love, peace and Laugh a Lot

Friday, April 27, 2012

Day 118 of 365

I heard some words of truth from a dear friend of mine today about my blog, things that in the past may have caused me pause but today that brought a new light into me. Her words really touched me as the words I write touch her.

They also shared this fantastic quote with me about friendship, since I have blogging a lot about friendship lately. I hope you know who your roots are, like I learning who mine are...

Some people come into your life for a lifetime and some come for a season. You have to know which is which. I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they go to the left. The wind blows from the other way, they go to the right. They are just unstable. You can't count on them for nothing. All they ever do is take from that tree. What you need to understand about a leaf is that it has a season. It'll wither and die and blow away.There ain't no need to be praying over a leaf to be resurrected. When it's dead it's gone. Let it go! Some people are like that. All the leaf ever does is cool you off every now and then. If you're grown, you know what I'm talking about, because you can call them in the middle of the night and get cooled off. That's the leaf people. They come to take. Then there are people like a branch. You got to be careful with branch people. They come in all different shapes and sizes. You never know how strong they will be in your life. So my advice is to tip out on it slowly. When you're going out on a limb, don't put too much weight on it at once, because it can fall and leave you high and dry. Sometimes, you have to wait for a branch to grow up before it can hold all of the things you want to share with it. Finally, there are people who are like roots at the bottom of the tree. If you find yourself two or three people in your entire lifetime that are like the roots, then you are blessed. The roots don't care nothing about being seen. All they're there to do is hold that tree up, to make sure it stays in the air. It comes from the earth to give that tree everything it needs. That's what relationships should be about. That's what you need, people who want to be in your life for the right reasons. If somebody wants to walk out of your life, you've got to LET THEM GO! When you learn to love yourself, you will end up giving standards to everyone around you. Again, I repeat with emphasis, if they don't meet those standards, you have to let them go, because they might be a leaf. And forgive them with all your might.
- Madea  (from Madea Goes  to Jail)

Love, peace, find your roots and release your leaves

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Day 117 of 365

What an adventure today has been... I learned a little bit more about myself, thanks to my bff letting me talk and cry and talk a little more. I realized I still have a lot of fear when it comes to certain types of relationships and it explains why I have a hard time looking in the face of the person staring back at me from the mirror. I am glad I realized this but I also realized I still have a long way to go before I Am 100% o.k.. I think it's just really good that I know what my issues are with myself so I can work towards a solution. Love, peace and learning to love me... Musicsongbird

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Day 116 of 365

Today was amazing. I got to train two new trainers and get to hear an incredible story and see this amazing photo of Walt Disney. My trainer trainee Shawn received this photo of Walt from her best friend, Mary, when they were younger. The man and woman in the foreground are Mary's Mom and Dad. Her dad was Gordon Yaeger, if you don't know who he is I can tell you, he flew the Rocket Belt over 700 times during his life. The Rocket Belt is a jet pack that allowed the pilot to fly through the air for up to 30 seconds. You may recognize the Rocket Belt from the James Bond classic "Thunderball," but it wasn't Sean Connery up in the air it was Gordon. 

So, you are probably thinking, "why is this such a big deal to you?" Well, it just blew me away.  One because Shawn's friend got to meet Uncle Walt face to face, but also because of the amazing thing he was able to do. This photo shows him flying low in front of Sleeping Beauty Castle. I can only imagine how frightening it was to know that he was going to fly up into the air and the only thing that he had to catch his fall if the belt failed was gravity. Amazingly he only ever broke his nose or received bruises but never fell in all of the estimated 700 flights he made.

This man had to have incredible faith to trust that he would be safe. I know so many people that are afraid to trust...

Trust others, trust themselves or trust God. I just know that this mans story showed me that a little faith and trust can go a long way.

Love, trust and Faith

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Day 115 of 365

Have you ever gotten a hug from someone it's just a simple hug? or what about that one that you stop hugging before the other person so you hug them harder because they are still hugging you? I guess I just realized the zen behind the true friend hug.

I can hear all these voices saying, the Zen of hugging? Is that even real? Well, if I say it is then it must be because I just invented it! Think about it. You run into someone you know and they give you that one arm quick hug. It's like an informal handshake.

Then you have the bro handshake. The one where two guys go for the handshake and then throw an arm around each other.

You have the Aunt that always tries to kiss you on the mouth hug where you force your head sideways and just hug them hard to avoid lip contact and you strain your neck.

One of my favorites is the hug of someone you really love or care about...That's the one where you snuggle in and you don't want to let go and neither do they. The one that says I am home.

I have to be honest, I don't get a ton of those but the few that I have gotten are from my family and the closest of my friends (you know who you are).

Love, peace and Giant hugs

Monday, April 23, 2012

Day 114 of 365

Another end to a great day. I had a fantastic day at work, a fantastic dinner at a restaurant I'd never been to before and just plain old fun before my friends had to leave. It's been a great reminder how truly important catching up with old friends can be as well as making new friends. I have so many great memories of this weekend that words really can't describe it.  Tears can only express my sadness of their leaving.

So big hugs and safe trip to my friends. Have a magical trip home and know you can always always come again. Maybe we can get into the Rose and Crown next time. ;)

Love, peace and Magical treats!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Day 113 of 365

I learned an important thing today, if you give yourself a chance to open yourself up to new things and new people you may find a new passion and you may find some great new friends.

I know this is short but it was a long day with some fantastic friends, I just wish it hadn't had to end but when your body tells you it needs rest and care than you better listen. Remember? I wrote about that this past week. ;)

Love, Peace and take some aspirin and call me in the morning

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Day 112 of 365

Please pardon any typos, bloggin from my phone...from the french quarter deep in the heart of ...Disney! I have to admit I was a little nefvous Bout meeting and spending the wvening with not one but two women I have never met and another one I haven't seen in nearly 12 years, but it has been amazing. We have laughed and laughed some more. You would thimk as we get older we would get braver but I think we r so much braver when we are younger. I remember back when we were kids and it didnt matter who came over to play and if u knew them or not, all were welcome. Now we r so afraid what others will think of us that we r fearful of what others will think. So lets try and take some time to remember that strangers are possible friends that,we just havent met yet. Love, peace and strangers have the best candy Musicsongbird

Friday, April 20, 2012

Day 111 of 365

It's funny, when we are younger we believe are friendships will last forever. We even write things like Friends forever and Love you like a sister in each other's yearbooks. I can't tell you how many people wrote that in my books over the years or that I wrote it in, but in reality a lot of people we are friends with in High School have a tendency to slip away, even a huge chunk of those you get close to in college. I remember hanging out with tons of people during those years, thinking years from now we will all be hanging out having families together and raising our kids and working together. Am I the only one that thought this?

Since I am having a record year of seeing friends from the past, this weekend included, it has made me think about my past relationships and reflect on the legitimacy of them. I was very good friends with a person throughout Jr. and Sr. High that I met up with a few years back. The short time spent with them was awkward almost like I was being humored when I talked about my life since the good old days as a wildcat. Like what I was doing with my life now was beneath them? Of course upon parting ways promises of keeping in touch were made but shortly after we never really spoke again. It again reminded me of the old saying, if you love something let it go... In this case I truly believe it was better to let go...

Isn't it crazy how life totally doesn't end up the way we thought it would all those years ago? I am still close to maybe 5 people I was friends with in High School and even less with who I met in college. The people I am closest to are the ones that have stuck with me through thick and thin, that have been with me at my best and seen me at my worst. (Yes, they have seen me ugly cry.)

If I could go back in time, would I tell the younger me not to waste my time on those others I once call BFF? No, because those times have made me into who I am today. Would I warn myself to guard my heart a little better?  No, because those sad times have also made me into the woman I am now. Stronger, wiser and crazier than anyone ever thought I would be.

Peace, love and Friends Forever ;)

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Day 110 of 365

Why do we hold on to hurtful feelings like, hate and jealousy? I am the queen bee when it comes to this. I wasted nearly 20 years of my life harboring resentful jealous feelings towards a person that didn't deserve it. I have missed out on a potentially great friendship because of my own behavior.  I feel horrible for ever feeling this way towards another person. It's crazy I can choose to forgive someone who did a horrible thing to me when I was a child but I can't forgive someone else that was just living their own life?  I'm sure some money hungry shrink somewhere is thinking that they could make mega money off of my story of lunacy.

Everyone always says that when you have a problem that controls your life you have to hit rock bottom before you can look up to find your way out of the hole you are in.

Love, peace and forgiveness

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Day 109 of 365

If you know me I have this interest in the Chinese culture and I love talking to the new cast from there and learning more about how they think and learning new things about their culture and lives.

There are so many stereotypes about our friends from the other side of the world, some slightly accurate and some completely inaccurate.

In the Chinese culture, respecting and revering your elders is such an integral part of their lives. It is very rare for a child to say no to a parent about choices that they want to make in their own lives, they generally go with what the parent wants for them because they do not want to offend their family or bring shame. I'm assuming for boys it isn't as unheard of but for girls, at least the girls I have met, they are afraid to disappoint their parents.  Even when it comes to dating and marriage.  So, when my friend shared with me how she ended up working with me, I knew what I needed to share... my appologies if I don't have everything exactly right but I hope I am conveying the emotion behind her story.

She was born in a town toward Northern China in 1989. Her mother became ill during child birth to the point where she would lose the baby or lose her life and her father (her mother's husband) was called and asked to come to the hospital and make a decision who to save and he refused both requests, he was at his girlfriends apartment. Thankfully all was well and mother and beautiful daughter survived. She told me when she was a few years old she remembered that her father would smoke in front of her and mother would get very upset and ask him to go into another room because it made it hard for her daughter (my friend) to breathe, but her father didn't care. Eventually her mother divorced her father, which is very unusual in China. Her mother did everything she could to help her daughter succeed by having two jobs even now to help her daughter have a better life.

When she was deciding where to study her mother made many suggestions based on where family was living, everywhere from Australia to Boston, but she did not want to go, she wanted to study in England. When she finally had the nerve to tell her mother, she already had an offer pending so all that was left was to tell her she was going. Her mother did not speak to her for three days. She was afraid for her daughter to be alone without family in a strange country. But finally she relented and allowed her to go.

While studying in England she found out about the program here in the states working and studying for a year at the House of Mouse. Out of 10 Universities they would only take an average of 6 cast members from each. She went through three interviews and then had to wait about a month for the answer. Out of all of the students that applied she was chosen.

I don't know what it is like to be a mother, but if I were here Mom I know I would be so proud. When I asked her my famous question I ask all of the girls from China, "What would your family do if you met and fell in love with an American boy?" Most of the time their response is the same, that it wouldn't happen. Her answer was very different. She told me, "I am very independent, but if I do meet someone my mother told me to make sure he is completely in love with me."

I don't believe that will be a hard thing for her to find. She has made it this far and I know she will do great things. I feel so blessed to have met her and for her to consider me her American Mom, while she is here, and that she felt comfortable enough to share with me her story. I hope she inspires you as well.

Love, peace and lotus blossoms

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Day 108 of 365

I gotta a text from an old friend today...I got a little choked up, she told me she is coming to visit this weekend. We haven't seen each other face to face in nearly 12 years. This is a person I was close with years and as we got older we kind of went our separate ways. We lost touch for many years only to be reunited via Myspace ( I don't think anyone even uses it anymore).  Like many friendships we have been through our ups and downs but I believe this visit will be opportunity for healing and new beginnings for us. A chance to reminisce about old times and hear all about the new things in our lives.

Sometimes God allows different people to go in and out of our lives, so we can grow...

Some go for the good of our lives and some come back to make a good life better....

Love, peace and reunions

Monday, April 16, 2012

Day 107 of 365

We need to learn to listen to our bodies. This winter / spring I have really been struggling with sinus problems off and on, more on than off. I am learning through all of this that when my body starts to feel different, not in a good way, then it means sinus problems are coming.  When we start paying attention to what our body is telling us, then we will begin to get better.

You are probably thinking, alright..where are you going with this? I have battled a food addiction since I was young. I ate to feed my emotions. The young me didn't have another outlet to deal with the craziness of my early years and food was safe to me. The more I ate the better I felt. Unfortunately, all of that food added on the weight. I have struggled for more than 30 years and I not only do I want the struggle to be over, I need it to be so I can be a healthy weight. I need to learn to listen better to my body.

So how do I listen or more specifically what am I listening for?

  1. Slow down when I eat. 
    • Take time between bites. 
    • Don't finish before everyone else at the table
    • Take time to enjoy the food I am consuming
  2. Pay attention how my body reacts to what I eat
    • If I keep track of what I have at meals and then how my body reacts to certain foods I will know what works for me and what I need to avoid
  3. Am I sleeping good?
    • Try not to eat so late, I don't sleep as well
    • get enough sleep, GO TO BED when I am tired
This is my list, but maybe if we all take time to listen to our bodies we will make better choices for ourselves and with that we will gain so much. Gain more energy and better health just to name a few things. 

So, I am going to start listening and we will see where it takes me....

Love, peace and I'm gonna get some sleep

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Day 106 of 365

One of my co-workers asked me today, "so what is this 365 thing you are posting? "

I told her,  "it's my blog."

Her response, "you're blogging, how nerdy. Does anyone read it?"

I told her, "a lot of people do I guess."

"are they people you know?"

"Not all of them. I'm over 2000 hits now."

And the conversation ended. I guess it's kind of hard for people to understand why another person would write about their life and put it out for others to see. I know I have explained this before but I blog because it helps with my recovery. If you are asking yourself, what recovery is she talking about, then you need to go back 30 or 40 days. This is my life journey and I want to share it with others in hopes that people can see their own struggles through mine and see what I did to get beyond it and maybe they can too.

I used to have this dream, back when I was an attender of weight watcher meetings, that one day I would get to my goal weight so that I could be a meeting leader / success story. But the truth is, I don't have to wait until I am a smaller size to be a positive influence on others. With every keep stroke following every tear, I know I am making a difference in someones life, even if it is my own. I am allowing myself the freedom to except the things about me that I can't change and embrace the changes that are happening and still have yet to arrive.

So the next time someone asks me what is this 365 thing about? I will just say, it's about making me the best me I can be.

love, peace and a brand new me!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Day 105 of 365

I had a pretty good day today. I was teaching the safety class at work and during my first class one of my co trainers sat in for a bit. Afterward she told me how much she loves to see me teach, how I can make a class as boring as Safety seem interesting and enjoyable and memorable. 

Then following my second class, one of the international cast members stayed behind. She said, "I want to tell you and I mean this very much. You are my idol. I want to be like you. You are always smiling and having fun. You make great jokes and you made the class fun." She went on to ask if I am sensitive. I thought it was a strange question, then she went on to say that being sensitive is bad.  I explained to her that I am sensitive to the needs of others, that in the past I was much more emotionally sensitive to what others would say to me, but through the jobs and experiences I have had, I have had to grow a toughness, like a shell, to protect myself from things others may say. I try to not let the hurtfulness of others effect me like it used to. By keeping a positive outlook, I try and bring happiness to those around me by being positive. 

Her final words were, that she believes that happiness in contagious and I fully agree. I have seen what sadness can do to myself and how my being sad or frustrated or hurt can effect the ones around me. How it effects my friends and family, even my team at work. Like the old saying goes, "when momma's unhappy nobodys happy."  

Now that I sit back and look at the day, I woke up knowing I was going to be facing someone I have been struggling to get a long with lately, but I was determined not to let it effect my day. And you know what? By the end of the day, they were laughing and joking with me. The hurt part of me would say, "they were only nice to you because you were there and they had no one else to talk to." But I am going to believe that change is possible. That maybe they are seeing themselves in a different way and realizing what a jerk they were and that things need to change. I believe that God can change anyone if they allow Him to work in them. And maybe just maybe He has done a change in me as well. Giving new eyes through the special people He has put into my path. 

Love, peace and forgiveness

Friday, April 13, 2012

Day 104 of 365

Isn't it crazy how life works? Your Mommy and Daddy meet, they fall in love, they get married (or not), they make a baby, YOU. They spend the next nine months preparing for your arrival. Buying clothes and diapers, a bed and blankies and bunnies. When you arrive they spend their time caring for you, bathing you, feeding you, loving you. As you grow they continue to love and care for you. When you fall down they are there to kiss your owies. When you get great grades, they celebrate with you. When you fall in love for the first time they cautiously watch and usually except them, and then when you break up with that first love they help you through the heartbreak.

They watch you grow into the adult you are and are still there through good times and bad. The sad thing is when the time comes for them to need you, some aren't so willing. Some children leave it to one sibling believing their lives are just to hectic forgetting who was there for them from the start. They forget that one day they are going to have to face their parents mortality. That Mom and Dad will need us just like we needed them in the beginning and always. Please don't let them go through their later years alone.

When we were at the community meeting this week they spoke about living wills and power of attorney because there was a gentleman in our neighborhood that fell ill and there was no one for anyone to call from his family. It broke my heart to hear this. It made me feel so good knowing that I am here for my mom. Don't get me wrong, my Mom is no invalid, but she isn't as young as she once was, and even though my brothers are both a thousand miles away I know that if we ever needed anything they would be here at the drop of a hat.  I also know that Mom and I are equally blessed to live so close to my BFF. He is the rest of our Florida family, we take care of each other.

I know family can't always be together and sometimes they are miles apart, but if you know of an older person you live near, watch out for them. Take the time to get to know them, learn from them, share your time with them. Don't let them spend their later years alone.

We are born into families, but sometimes we fall into them just as easily...

Love, peace and "family"

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Day 103 of 365

I had such an incredible evening. I had the honor of hosting a Weight Watchers "Me Moments" Party at my home and so invited some of my friends over and we laughed and talked and ate and laughed some more. If reminded me that Me moments are really important but what the most important thing is is to share time with people you love. I can honestly say I love each and every person that was present at my home tonight and I feel incredibly blessed to call them friends and family.

These are the ladies and gentleman that have been by my side through all of the craziness of recent months and for some years of my life. I thank God He has put me where I am.

We go through our lives meeting and making new friends along the way. Some are here are a time and then drift away into our memories and some are here to stay. I want to believe these are my friends that are here to stay.

To my "Me Moment" pals, thanks for an amazing fun night. Can't wait for our next "We Moment."

Love, peace and more ice cream please!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Day 102 of 365

Tonight I went to the Home Owners Association Meeting where I live. I do not enjoy going to them but I promised my mom I would go because of the special meeting they were having about some upcoming changes in our neighborhood. I know as we get older things start to go, like sight and hearing but apparently patience isn't far behind. In fact I would have to relate it to when I worked in a day care. I think I had more control over a room full of Toddlers than the HOA President had tonight.

It was like everyone was chattering and they would ask them to be quiet so everyone could hear and then as soon as a member of the board was up they would all start chattering again and then people couldn't hear, so they would be asked to be quiet again. If that weren't enough the snarky comments from people thinking they are being quiet but because they are older they talk louder so I can hear them from across the room. They are worse than Teenage girls.

The guest speakers were brought in and ask to basically let the members know what services they offer, well that sparked personal questions from the group that had nothing to do with the group. So, needless to say it was an interesting night. I just learned that the older I get, the more patience I need to pray for.

love, peace and patience

Day 101A of 365

Yeah Bonus blog!

So, what am I doing up so horribly early? I can't sleep. I woke up having a hard time breathing and so I came to the living room to get my inhaler. That was 2.5 hours ago. The tightness in my throat scared me something awful. Even after puffing the only thing that felt better was my pulse. The pain in my throat continued. An hour and 45 minutes later I decide maybe it's heart burn... BINGO!

However, I am still awake...

I am on three different meds and atleast two of them can mess with your sleep. SURPRISE!

I have played my facebook games now I am trying writing. I just want to sleep but all I do is lay there. This is not magical by any means. I guess I could clean. I just have to be quiet about it cuz Mom is still asleep. Well, I guess I will try that.

Thanks for listening...

Love, peace and I need to get some zzzzzz's

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Day 101 of 365

It's so strange going through stuff I had packed away awhile back. Actually not so much strange a it is interesting. Trying to figure out why I saved something, or didn't realize I even had it. Isn't it funny how we spend so much time packing things away only to go through them later and wonder, "what did I need this for anyway?" But it also can work against you, because you can be like, "Oh my gosh, I can't throw that button away! I might need it for a craft project!"

So, I'm learning to let go.


Monday, April 9, 2012

Day 100 of 365

Sound the trumpets! Doot doot doot doooooo! It is Day 100 of my blog and I am still going strong! KNow what else that I can hardly believe? I have had 1,901 hits as of writing this moment! I am so incredibly blown away by the response I have gotten from my little life journey and I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog and for those that are just starting...what took you so long? lol!

So, now that I am done with the pomp and circumstance on with the journey...

So once again I have to tell everyone how much I love and appreciate my mom. She is really trying hard to get me and the way I do things that isn't always the way she would do them. Round of applause for my mom!!!! What is it that she is being patient with this time? Well, you see I am not your normal cleaner, especially if there is a project involved with cleaning. So my project that has been on going is our three season room. It has gone from being a place for me to crash before I moved in, to a storage room for all of my crap after I moved in and before I could go through it all, to a tv room, to an extra room for potential guests, to a guest room  / my craft room. So I have to get it done and there are some boxes of craft stuff and who am I kidding it's a mess. Well I have to get it cleaned up by this weekend, which for me is in two more days, and what do I do to start cleaning? I start reorganizing. See that is my thing. In my mind I see a better way for everything to fit and as I "clean" I find a place for things that make sense to me. I can't just clean everything out and then organize to me that just doesn't make sense. I would rather live with a mess until I can figure out the way I want everything to look than to clean out everything and then decorate.

So tonight, Mom and I moved some furniture and I got busy. Is it done yet? No, but it will be by Thursday. :)

Love, peace and reorganizing my life!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Day 99 of 365

Happy Easter everyone! I hope you all took a moment today to think about what today truly represents. For me it isn't about the bunny leaving candy, but he does still visit me, it's about the price that was paid. The life that was given for me...and for everyone else in this world.

As I drove in this morning to the number 1 vacation destination in the US, for the first time in a long time I saw all of the cars driving in a head of me and thought, imagine what it would be like if all of these people traveling to these four parks and all of the cast members working in just these four parks we pulling in to local churches to celebrate this Easter. It would be incredible. But everyone celebrates in their own way or ignores this time of year in their own way.

He is Risen!

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Day 98 of 365

Picture with me if you can, A little girl in a younger land
Running, playing, laughing Growing stronger
Now the aging limbs have failed, And the rosy cheeks are paled
Look behind the lines till you remember

She’s still the same girl, Flying down the hill
She’s still the same girl, Memories vivid still
Listen to her story, And her eyes will glow
She’s still the same girl, And she needs you so

Picture with me if you will, A long white dress and a wedding veil
Two young dreamers pledge their love together
Now her lifelong friend is gone, And she spends her days alone
Look behind the lines till you remember

She’s still the same girl, Walking down the aisle
She’s still the same girl, With the shining smile
Listen to her story, And her eyes will glow
She’s still the same girl, Same girl

She’s still the same girl, Wiser for the years
She’s still the same girl, Stronger for the tears
Listen to her story, And your heart will glow
She’s still the same girl, And we need her so
She’s still the same girl, And she needs you so

Twila Paris

Today is my parents 50th Wedding Anniversary. Even though my Dad has been in heaven since 1998, I wanted to take time to celebrate their lives together and their love. He called her Stinky, She called him Jer, they met in Burkhardt, Wisconsin and started dating when Dad was a Senior and Mom was a Freshman. She carried yellow roses in her bouquet. Their first home was a rental house in Hudson, then they purchased a trailer and lived next door to my Maternal Grandparents back in Burkhardt. My oldest brother was born in '63, my middle brother in '66. In 1970 they purchased a Manufactured home just down the street from where they were living just up from the Willow River. Then in the fall of 1973 a huge change came into their lives, ME! 

In the fall of '75 my dad was transferred to St. Louis, Missouri and we moved to a lovely home in Fenton, a St. Louis suburb. 

Dad was with us for another 23 years before he went home to be with God. He battled non small cell lung cancer, but he was able to see me graduate from Webster University (May 1998) with a vocal music degree,  his 5th grand child after he was born July 1998), and see the Green Bay Packers win their 3rd Super Bowl trophy in 1997. (We know they went to the Super Bowl in 1998 but we don't like to think of the outcome.)

My parents are my heroes. There is so much more to their story and maybe someday I will share more of it, but they have been through so many ups and downs, good times and bad, but in the end of Dad's life here on Earth they were together and one day they will be reunited in heaven. 

So today we celebrate 50 years of life, love and happiness....

I love you Mom and Dad

Friday, April 6, 2012

Day 97 of 365

Today has been a really great day. I spent time with my mom working on our house this morning, working side by side creating something beautiful. Until it started to rain...Then everything we drug out of the shed was crammed back in for tomorrow.

Then it was off to lunch and shopping! I feel so incredibly blessed to get to spend time with mom like I do. I don't know how I survived my first three years here in Florida without her. I'm not going to lie, I learned a lot in that time but there is nothing like spending time with your mom.

I love that we have such a close relationship and she is there for mew whenever I need her. My heart breaks for my friends that are separated from their Moms, whether by distance, anger or heaven.

I'm not going to say everything is always perfect with us but that's what great about the love we have for each other will never be broken no matter how mad either one of us gets. I count my blessings everyday I wake up and get to know she is here for me. I love you Mom.

Love, peace and a mother's hug

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Day 96 of 365

I think anyone who is being reading my blog from the beginning knows that this is so true... I saw this as a friends post and my heart hurt a little when reading this.

I see families in my park every day that make me want to scream back at when they yell at the their child out of stress. I want to tell them, Mom, Dad it's not about you, your child is tired, hungry, hot, scared etc.... Parents yell and say stupid things like, "we paid a lot for this trip and you have to go with us and it's not about what you want to do." Hello obnoxious parent! You are the one that planned this trip for your children isn't it? So guess what? It's not about YOU Mom and Dad. If they are tired let them rest, if they are hungry get them something to eat, if they are hot take them into a cool place. And the big one is, if they get lost, and I mean this... DO NOT YELL AT THEM! They were scared enough when you weren't with them. Children are children and they rely on you to make them feel safe and loved. They didn't intentionally lose track of you but if you think of it, were you watching them well enough if they got lost in the first place?

When you are reunited praise them for finding a nice cast member to help them. DON'T YELL AT THEM. They are already freaked out enough that you were not with them. Hug them, tell them that they did good, that they were brave when Mom and Dad got lost.

I hear so many people yelling at their kids that it makes me wonder how they are treated at home when millions of strangers aren't around. If they are willing to yell at and humiliate their children in public, what worse things are they saying to them at home.

I'm not saying don't discipline your child but be mindful of how you do it. Am I saying don't spank your child? No, I had spankings when I was little and it didn't squelch my personality. But know how your treating your child. Like the post says... choose your words wisely.

love, peace and hugs

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Day 95 of 365

I ran into several friends today that stopped me to tell me they read this blog everyday. Thank you for your kind words and this really is a labor of love. It takes a lot to come up with something to write about everyday, but I made this commitment to myself to finally really finish what I have started. It's also therapy for me; I have many people tell me they think I am brave letting people know my inner most thoughts and hurts and happiness's, but I think it's a little insanity actually. If you truly know me you will agree wholeheartedly. ;-)

I just heard the best quote of the day, Randy Jackson told one of the contestants to, "stop thinking it and start living it," and I think that goes towards a lot of things in our lives. I think so very often and I know for me this has been true as well, I over think things and spend so much time thinking about it that I never actually find myself ever completing what I started or even starting it.

So epiphany for me...I need to stop thinking about how I am going to lose weight and start living a life of doing the work that needs to be done to do it. Just like this blog has helped me pursue my love of writing it has also encouraged me to stand up for myself and be who I was meant to be. So, now I am going to start living the life of a woman trying to be healthier. And maybe along the way someone else will find their way out of thinking and into a life of living.

love, peace and living...

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Day 94 of 365

Hi ho neighbors! So today was great until I went to the store on the way home. This particular store is a place I only stop at out of necessity not just for regular shopping. It's a big box store and unfortunately this one happens to be the one where I college cast and the tourists all go to so trying to run in and out is like trying to come out the victor in the Hunger games. ;-) lol! Nearly impossible.

As I zig zagged through the isles to pick up the few items I needed I went from walking with the crowd to against them and then even walking out of the way of them. Smiles were few and far between so I forced my best smile in hopes that my smile would be contagious. Well, I was doing really well with the smiling thing until I got to the holiday candy isle and I was looking for Brachs candies to scan ( I do these phone scanning reward sites that I do) and this woman behind me grabbed a big bag of Haribo Bears off the shelf and in the process and bag of tootsie rolls fell on the floor. I thought she would immediately pick them up but instead she threw her bag of bears back on the self and walked a little bit down the isle. I know what it's like to work in retail and I know what it's like to clean up after other peoples' messes so I try and put things back where I get them from to make it easier for the staff that has to clean up behind.

Let's just say I lost my smile, I turned around, walked directly over to the fallen candy, snatched them off the floor and put them back where they belonged and than made eye contact with the woman; then I turned and walked on to the next isle. Is it wrong to ask people to be courteous of others by not leaving their mess for someone else to clean up?

Love, peace and tootsie rolls

Monday, April 2, 2012

Day 93 of 365

Had a great day training a new trainer in my home location. It's nice to see another person that is as passionate about our company as I am and as excited to share their knowledge with the new cast. It is very sad to see the people I work with that have lost their passion, it just has become a place they come to each day, go through the motion and fake happiness but leave at a sprint after clocking out. Like staying there one more minute will result in eminent death or something equally terrible.

I spoke with two of my leaders today about the stuff I have been going through and again they reminded me that I can't let someone else poor attitude and work ethic effect me. If they want to be bitter and unhappy that is their problem. All I should do is keep being the person I am and let them have their own pity party.  The vest thing I heard today was my trainer shadow asked one of our managers what they expect from her as a new trainer and she replied to her, "Be like Musicsongbird." I was so honored to have a manager say that, it made everything I have been through this past few months worth it. Knowing no matter what they see me as a role model to new cast and new trainers. And no one can take that away from me.

love, peace and pixie dust

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Day 92 of 365

Seven years ago today my baby Belle was born. She was the middle sister in her litter of three. On the third I got to meet her face to face. She was born in a little town in Illinois at my niece and nephew's house. When I walked over to the box Belle and her siblings were in with their Birth Mom Maggie. When I approached Maggie looked at me and knew the babies were safe so she took a moment to go eat and use the liter box so I could meet Belle. I know you aren't supposed to touch baby animals but I believe Maggie gave me her permission and I pet Belle on the nose. I think that sealed it for her, she knew who her Mommy was from that moment on.

Normal kittens and puppies take 8 weeks at least to ween but Belle weened herself by 6 weeks. She stopped nursing and started eating cat food. She showed her birth family she was ready to go live with her Mommy in Missouri. From the day she came home to live with me she was with me non stop. When she wanted to be held she would climb up to be held. I would go to work with the marks of her climbing all over my arms and legs. After awhile she found jumping a must easier way to get held. She would start running and launch herself into the air for me to catch her.

Seven years later she still knows the easiest way to get held is to take a running leap. She sleeps with her Mommy every night, she comes when I call, gets down when I tell her (when she is up on the kitchen table). Her favorite blankie is my old comforter and her favorite toy is Mousee. Happy Birthday Baby Girl .

I look forward to many more years of snuggling and kitty kisses. My loving baby.

Love, peace and cute little meece