Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Day 32 of 365

I am sure many friends and family members were completely shocked by my announcement yesterday, and believe me it took everything in me to post it. Because now it is no longer a secret. It's kind of strange because as soon as I acknowledged the pain and victimization I went through, almost immediately I wanted to tell others that have battled through similar situations. 


Even before therapy I had always had these little flashes in my memories of things that I thought may have happened to me during my childhood. I know a lot of people that have fond memories of all throughout their childhood, but for me it is very hard to remember things from when I was younger.  Only certain memories stick out in my mind, the ones with strong emotional attachments. Either extreme happiness or sadness. The only other way I remember is through photos and then sometimes I am not always sure. 

The person that hurt me was not a family member but they were treated as though they were apart of the family. My family trusted him with their most precious thing, me. I am so thankful my dad isn't alive to know of this man's betrayal. 

As far as specifics go, I do not know what exactly he did to me but I know enough that the time I spent with him as a 6-10 year old wasn't an Uncle and Niece like situation. I am so grateful that God gave me the strength and my parents the hearts to listen when I said I did not want to go with him again that last time. I just remember I hysterically cried because I didn't want to stay with him ever again. For a very long time I believed this memory was a bad dream, but I finally got up the courage to ask my mom if she remembered such an incidence, and she had. And that was all the confirmation I needed. This wasn't the only memory but it was the one that triggered us to the realization of what had actually gone on all of those years ago.  


Before therapy I was a victim and now I am a survivor...
Musicsongbird