Thursday, January 5, 2012

Day 5 of 365

Well, today started out with breakfast out with my mom and my BFF, he will from now forward be referred to as such,  at Cracker Barrel. It was a very enjoyable time and then we headed for a morning of shopping. This is when the morning started to go downhill and this is also when I totally could have lost any progress on my year of therapy and my new mind set about the new me. Drama ensued with miss communication between BFF and I and tears were shed but thankfully forgiveness was asked for and given and all was happy and magical once again. He then asked if I wanted to go clothes shopping because Lane Bryant was having a 60% off sale and I received many gift cards for Christmas. Now if you have read any of my previous blogs you may or may not know I have a slight issue with my body image. I have a very strong personality when you meet me in person but when I have to look at myself I don't like what I see physically and I am sure I am not alone. So when he asked I said No, then he asked for an explanation. I then replied, Because I don't like what I see in the mirror and new clothes won't change that. He tried to convince me by saying when he wants to feel better about himself he buys himself new clothes but for me it doesn't work that way.

I have a long story, about 30 years long. One of fear and sadness to joy and happiness and hope. I wanted to say freedom but I don't feel like I am there yet because if I were then I wouldn't turn to food as a comfort and I wouldn't be staring at a number like 303 on my scale. It is very possible that in the next 360 days you will read it all. Anyway, after getting past the clothing conversation and the sad thoughts about myself I didn't give into temptation or boredom or self-pity and stuff my face! Yeah! In fact the day ended with hugs and laughter and now with the grand finale the part you all have been waiting for.........


Good night, love and peace and stay away from things deep fried in Grease!
Musicsongbird