Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Day 31 of 365

In order for one to move forward in life, very often they must handle their past.  I have a past that I am dealing with head on. I truly believe God has given me a platform, here, where through my stories others can try and find peace and healing as well.

I have been dealing with depression for years and years. I believe it escalated when I moved to Florida because it was the first time I had truly lived on my own and a thousand miles from family.  I went through days of putting on the mask making magic for coworkers and guests and spent nights sad and lonely and driving my best friend crazy because he wanted to help but didn't know how. He kept suggesting talking to someone but I was too scared by the stigma of therapy and anti-depressants and the self pride of thinking I would get over it on my own. All I can say is Thank God he stayed by me and encouraged me because in July of 2009 I finally talked to my doctor and she introduced me to what I like to call my Happy Pills. :)
She also suggested I see the life coach at work. She is part dietitian, part coach and this began my new journey.

After over a year of seeing my coach and my mother retiring and moving here, she suggested I meet one of the therapists at the center. She realized through all of our talking there were much deeper things I needed to talk to someone about. Things I myself never really realized. So, I began to see the therapist. And once again I am saying Thank you Jesus!  He helped me through the questions swirling in my mind, like the why me's and the where do I belongs, to the am I doing the right things with my life. Then, through my own questions and talks with my mom I realized something huge.

I am a sexual abuse survivor...

Before therapy I was a victim and now I am a survivor...
Musicsongbird