Saturday, November 25, 2017

Remember to give thanks everyday...

It's that time of year again... Thanksgiving just past, a reminder that we are thankful for our family and friends... And now Christmas is just a few short weeks ahead of us and we are all frantically racing around trying to find the perfect gift for everyone on our list to make someone happy...  But in the end does it really make them happy? Or is it the fact that we took the time to find that gift for them what really makes them happy?

I'm sure for many people it's the fact that they have gained more, sadly. But I feel like the older I get the less I truly want. I guess I am getting to the point, if I really want something, I don't need to wait until Christmas to buy it... In fact, my Mom and I made an agreement that this year it would be no gifts... We would rather spend the money on things we need for the house or on fun things to do together to make memories... Like day trips or dinners out to new places...

The other thing I realize I don't do enough is give thanks for the small things each day... I'm not thankful for my family and friends just once a year, so I need to let them know more often... Just like we shouldn't wait until Valentine's day to let someone know we love them...

Maybe if we spent more time being thankful for the little things in life, the big things in life will be easier to handle because they won't seem so big anymore...

My goal this week is to try and be nicer to others and be more understanding... And to give thanks for the small things, not just the big things...

Thank you to all of you that continue to join me on my journey...

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Getting back to life...

Trying to settle in since the trip has been an adjustment... If you have never traveled overseas, it isn't just a cultural change, even though that was short, but the time change was really big for me for some reason... And now a week later I am finally feeling physically better, other than the fact that I think I am coming down with a cold... Now it's time to pay off the trip I just took all while facing holiday merriment that is coming our way in less than 2 months now...

It's crazy to think that Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away and Christmas is right behind it... If I had really planned I could have taken care of Christmas while in Paris, but that would have probably required buying another suitcase to bring stuff back in, instead of a cute shoulder bar with a zipper... So now the planning begins, usually by now I have a bunch of things done but this year I just don't know if I am up for it... Emotionally, mentally, I don't know if I want to go to all the work of decorating when it is just Mom and I and the occasional rare visitor... 

I remember going through these feelings when my Dad went to heaven 19 years ago... The no desire to decorate, to just let things go and be business as usual... Maybe I will change my mind by Thanksgiving... or maybe we will just forgo the decorations... Besides, Christmas isn't about all of the decorations or the tree, it's spending time with those you love and celebrating Christ's birth...

Maybe if we spent more time focusing on each other and our gift of time and less on how much we can spend, the Holiday Season would feel different for all of us... Maybe if I focus on giving more of myself, I will find what I need to fill this gap...


Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Did someone say Adventure - Day 2

I had the most extraordinary opportunity thanks to one of my life long friends... As I had mentioned in my previous post I was jetting off to Paris, France and now I am home and have had a few days to ponder the trip and kind of absorb everything I saw and experienced...   I could go on about specifics about walking up and down stairs and riding the metro and all of the different sites we saw along the way but there was one moment in particular that kind of sat me down, both figuratively and literally...

On our second day of the trip the weather was less than ideal... in fact the sky decided it was going to let lose on us and keep us pretty much wet for most of the day... Now not only was it cold but it was wet and these are less than ideal conditions to walking anywhere... But we weren't going to let anything stand in our way... We made our way through the city until we found the Cath├ędrale Notre-Dame de Paris... To go from seeing it animated in Disney's Hunchback to seeing it live and in person was quite spectacular... The line to enter wound back from the door a few hundred yards and we joined the end... 


As we slowly moved forward the details of the carvings all over the building became clearer and clearer... Even more impressive and more beautiful... As we finally made it inside we walked past a counter selling small prayer beads and crosses, along with other items. I removed my wet poncho prior to stepping into the Sanctuary as to not drip all over the place. Despite the differences in the way we worship God, I felt a certain peace wash over me when I entered, a peace I haven't felt in sometime... We walked down the side to see all of the gorgeous Stained glass windows, statues and art that was on display... Aside from people muttering to each other, talking was at a minimum to show respect for those praying in the center pews... 

At one point it must have gotten to noisy because a loud Shhhhhhh, was broadcast over the sound system reminding people to be silent... After a few more minutes of photos I felt this urge to sit... To sit and be still... So I found a seat and did just that... I sat, and it wasn't like I had a huge spiritual moment, or I heard an audible voice telling me to do something incredible, but I just felt peace... I felt a calm and I just sat and took it all in...

I know I needed this moment, I am not sure why, but I know in my heart of hearts I just did... Sometimes when you feel that peace you just need to sit and be still... Then take a moment and enjoy the beauty around you...


Saturday, October 21, 2017

Did someone Say Adventure - Day 1

I am about to embark on an incredible journey... I am so excited and nervous and I don't think scared just everything all at once... That feeling I had almost 17 years ago when I was getting ready to take my first trip down to Florida for the 1st time except this time it is across the Big Blue...

I am finally getting to live out a dream to travel outside the country and my first trip is to one of the most romantic cities in the world, Paris... One of art and food and wine and of course Disney!

While I am sad that I won't be sharing this experience with the BFF first hand this time or my Mom who is helping make this trip possible, I am sharing it with one of my oldest and dearest Sister friends and without her we wouldn't even be going... I am so grateful that she texted me all of those months back and asked ab out me having a passport and encouraging me to get mine...

I am ready for my adventure now...

More to come...

@musicsongbird73 on Instagram

Nancee M. on Yelp

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Surviving the Storm ... Part 5

Sometimes the hardest part of Surviving the Storm is when you are going head first through it and you aren't sure what the outcome will be... I have faced so very many storms in my life... Like the emotional storms of losing all 4 of my grandparents, my cousin Jana, my Dear Sweet Dad and now my friend Nick... To the mentally and physically debilitating storm of sexual abuse I survived... To the actual storms I have survived, whether it's been a car accident or a tropical storm, or the end of a friendship, or the end of a job; I have survived that storm...

"In the Eye of the Storm"

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Surviving the Storm... Part 4

Today was supposed to be a great day from beginning to end but sadly it didn't begin that way... I woke up like any other except that today a new journey was beginning for me... My 2nd decade working at the Most Magical Place on Earth was going to begin and I knew there was going to be a "Surprise" Celebration for me... I was so exited that I took my shower and got ready and headed into work...

But when I got there the mood quickly changed... My co-worker immediately asked me if I had seen my friends Facebook post and when I had said no, I began to scroll and then all of the air went out of me... A young man that I had worked with since I started, had lost his life at the hands of another person yesterday... At first it didn't seem real... I went completely numb and then I looked at my co-worker / Friend and I just started crying... How can this happen to someone so young? To anyone at all? What would drive someone to did this to another human being?

The morning passed in a bit of a blur between bouts of tears and then calmness where I would chat about my upcoming "Surprise" Anniversary celebration that I knew nothing about... After lunch I was calm enough to speak to my leader and let him know why I was not my normal self and he even let me know that if needed to postpone my "Surprise" Celebration, everyone would understand... But I knew the best thing for me and the rest of us that knew this young man was to continue on...

Despite knowing about the party I was surprised and delighted when I walked in the room to see former team members and leaders there that came to support and celebrate along with me... It was also my pleasure that my Magical Twin was there and we celebrated her as well so it made it twice as special... After we received our plaques, cards and service pins; we took photos and ate cake... Then it was time to chat and this gave those of us that knew what had happened the day before a chance to talk about it and grieve together as a family who lost a brother...

I may struggle and stress over my job from time to time and consider what it would be like to leave and do something else, but it is times like today that remind me how important my Disney Family has been to me over the past 10 years and how important they will remain for the next 10...

Thank you for allowing me to continue making the magic each and every day...

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Surviving the Storm - Part 3

Not every storm is forecast, sometimes they just come out of no where... The migraines are back with a vengeance... It sounds like a bad B movie but sadly it's true... The thing that I have had some semblance of control over with medication for the past few years, is no longer being controlled by my prescription... On average I am suffering from migraines at least twice a month now, when I was going months without one... This is not a good thing...

If you have never suffered from this horrible ordeal, it is like a modern version of a medieval torture device... Imagine have a set of clamps attached to either side of your temples and they are slowly being tightened over time... Then as they are tightened your body temperature goes up and down, going somewhere between the hot and cold sweats which cause boughts of nausea and even closing your eyes and laying down doesn't really help... You just pray for rest so that the pain will go away...

This is what I battle... This is my new storm...

Each of us have our storm... We can't always understand what we each are facing, but we can empathize and stand together...

We can survive our Storms together...